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Zega
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Zega
6,917 posts
Peasant

OH MY GOD! This is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life! There is this guy called Hancock who is a super hero who also happens to be a bum. It's about freaking time! We need more bum super heroes! It was like watching Superman but starring MEEEEE! And his hobbies were drinking, passing out and hitting very small children. I DO ALL OF THOSE THINGS!... Except hitting small children. I only pick on the big ones.

And there is this public relations guy who wants to help him, but don't do it Hancock! Don't do it! You don't need to look any better! I had a public relations guy work on me once! He had be doing things, and saying things. That totally changed the way I was! Here, it looked something like this: "Hi Zega Karlsson B., can I interest you in a Cadillac?"
Isn't that horrible?!?!? *shivers* So Hancock decides he is going to go to prison because he had been a bad superhero! It's like when the green lantern raped Hulk Hogan! Or did I just dream that? Either way would be pretty frightening.

So Hancock is in prison, where he shoves one guys head up another guys @ss! I am totally serious! He shoves a guys head up another guys @ss! More super hero movies need to shove other people heads inside of @sses! That better be in the new Dark knight movie. The Joker would be like: "I'm gonna kill everybody" and Batman is like "You're going inside an @ss" AOAOOAH! *fart* The End!

So after Hancock gets out of prison the people miss him and he turns into the new super hero Hancock!.... Hancock becomes Hancock...... Shouldn't he have a different name??? Like Drunk Man? Or Shnackered Boy? Or Dude I Swear I Thought She Was Over Eighteen Person? So when Hancock finds out when he is around other people like him he loses his powers. Kinda like when I'm around other bums, I lose more change! This is my quainter, find your own fire hydrant! Amateur..

So he has to fight the bad guy while sometimes losing his powers. So he's like "DGAHHH.... Uhhh.. DGAHHH!!!.. Uhhh..." And he's fighting the guy that has a hook for a hand! IT'S CAPTAIN HOOK!!! He must paint people that has the ability to fly! Why do you hate people that can fly? That's so cool! If I could fly I would fly all over the city, and shoot them all with my machine gun. Yeah I have angry issues. And at the end, Hancock gets and eagle! And hancock is like: "What do you do Eagle?" and the eagle is like ".....I don't know...!"

Fresh.



...Sorry for the swearing.

  • 58 Replies
wallaman63
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wallaman63
159 posts
Nomad

lol seriously what happened to your love of Kung-Fu Panda....the movie is pretty darn epic...you should make your own review page

DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

Hmg i watch good movie pokemon, gooder than hankcoc.

But seriously, awesome movie.

personally I thought it was incredibly nice of Hancock to paint on the moon for his new friend. very thoughtful of him

Zega
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Zega
6,917 posts
Peasant

I think he wants you to say: ******* *throws ugly girl in air*..
Me no wantz to swear! Dx

lol seriously what happened to your love of Kung-Fu Panda....the movie is pretty darn epic...you should make your own review page
I rather not post a review page, I want to make all reviews separate.

gooder than hankcoc.


Nice grammar, but mine is gooder. ;D
DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

Thats not what I wrote... my uh ... sister did it....
*runs to neighbor's house*
*drags their daughter over here*
see! not me!
*hears police sirens*
well then... uh time to go

blu_gtar87
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blu_gtar87
16 posts
Nomad

There was like SOOOO much controversy over this movie between me and my friends on the way home in the car. First, there was silence...then someone was like "that movie was awesome"

That one statement started a WHOLE argument. Personally, i thought it was ok. It seemed like the first half had nothing to do with the second half. Or like they didn't tie it in good enough. It had strong potential. I love the movies Will plays in tho so...whatever

Zega
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Zega
6,917 posts
Peasant

Thats not what I wrote... my uh ... sister did it....
*runs to neighbor's house*
*drags their daughter over here*
see! not me!
*hears police sirens*
well then... uh time to go


>_>?

First, there was silence...then someone was like "that movie was awesome"

Some how, I see that happening now. Yup yup.
Peterabi
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Peterabi
223 posts
Nomad

Hancock is a great movie. I like how he got his name, I was laughing so hard the whole time. He should play basketball against Lebron James.

XxLBJames23xX
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XxLBJames23xX
769 posts
Peasant

I agree, the greatest movie ever!

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,821 posts
Shepherd

Are you sure this isn't plagairized from thatguywiththeglasses? You sound EXACTLY LIKE the bum from that site. . . .

supercow
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supercow
53 posts
Nomad

Welcome to our Pokemon Center! Would you like me to heal your Pokemon back to perfect health? Okay, I'll take your Pokemon for a few seconds. Thank you for waiting. We've restored your Pokemon to full health. We hope to see you again!


i never understood why she said we hope to see you again. i mean does she want your pokemon to get killed
joejigajay
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joejigajay
82 posts
Nomad

Hancock is a good movie, but I wouldn't say the best... That spot will always be for Crank

MusicCrazed123
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MusicCrazed123
185 posts
Nomad

Yes Hancock was a great movie, funny. And it is about time we have bums as superheroes.

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