ForumsArt, Music, and WritingDDX's eleven

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DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

I sat there mumbling to myself... my eyes adjusted to the dim coffee room setting. You could smell scent of extra black coffee being brewed around the corner. Fst6 was late... he never is late. As I glanced
upon my watch, the stainless steel "DDX" face of the watch stared back at me. Suddenly, without warning, there was a loud boom, across the street, and Fst6 walked in calmly and sat down across from me.

"It's about damn time," I said

"Well, you've still got 9 chairs to go" He answered smartly

"Was the explosion your doing?"

Even though I knew the answer, I still had to make sure.

"yea, you like it?"

Success! I have my demolition man.

"The others will not be coming today,a s I have received word from tennisman24 that he is caught up in a little "trouble".

  • 36 Replies
DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

this is going to be my on going story, of a heist inspired by the movie "Ocean's eleven"

The characters are currently being introduced at the minute, as I am still in the process of writing. Just because it was inspired by ocean's eleven, does not mean that it will be the same, there will be twists and turns, and plot holes and such, completely different to the movie.

hope you kids like it.

Pois0nArr0w
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Pois0nArr0w
2,053 posts
Nomad

There was some repetitiveness in the first paragraph, but over all a nice opening. I look forward to reading more.

tennisman24
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tennisman24
4,682 posts
Farmer

Thanks I am in it. Fst6 asked for me to be in it. Thanks dude. Hopefully I can be one of the main characters.

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,821 posts
Shepherd

I should be your go-to guy for logistical problems or something.

This is a good story so far, if a bit adjective-heavy. I still like it.

DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

yea, it needs some fixing. I'm still getting moar people. Alt, I was going to ask sometime later when I could get on skype.

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,821 posts
Shepherd

Okay then.

DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

Fst6 then spoke up,

"hey, i think you spoke too soon, we may have another arivee"

"What? I don't..."

I trailed off, because I couldn't believe it, I had just sent out the invitations yesterday, there was no way he could have known to arrive here today at this coffee shop. Some old lady was yelling from behind the man at the door, something along the lines of young kids these days not moving when they're supposed to move.

"Hey Alt!" I kind of shouted in the excitement to see my old colleague again.

"I know, I know, I was in your computer, and I happened to see those invites before you sent them"

He winked as he sat down, I was pretty much too happy to say anything at all, because the hacker we desperately needed was nailed down.

"I wonder how you got passed my firewall this time Alt..."

There was a twinkle in his eye as he responded.

"trade secret,oh and by the way you might wanna get rid of those nudies in your computer, they will only serve as a distraction."


Well did I mention this kid's penchant for information? Incredible, he was just stuffed full with info, I didn't really think we could make the team without him.

"just like old times eh? black market 101"

"yea really, so is this the entire party?"

"Well, no they'll be joining us tomorrow, Now gentlemen, I present to you with our Suite cards, we will be staying in The Sheradin on the 5th floor our rooms occupy the numbers 500 to 511. You have the afternoon off to yourselves."

With three out of the eleven already, I could feel the smile of lady luck upon my shoulders.

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,821 posts
Shepherd

you might wanna get rid of those nudies in your computer, they will only serve as a distraction."


XD
thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,821 posts
Shepherd

they will only serve as a distraction."


Lulz, they shaved a lot of time off my getting around your firewall. . ..
NOT because I was. . .looking at them, because there. . .were so many!

^^^^^^^^^Ultimate awkward diss moment there.
DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad



I thought I'd add some humor into the writing, to keep people coming back for moar.

Cenere
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Cenere
13,656 posts
Jester

Nice enough, a little too much dialougue to fit my style, but at least they are pretty easy to get through. Will look forward to next chapter/segment/part/kitten tapas.

Zega
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Zega
6,917 posts
Peasant

Yet another writing about some AG characters that will a failure~

Perfect...
I'll stay out of it... I don't find it funny at all.

nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,991 posts
Grand Duke

Great job DD! Looking forward to a next segment...Work hard and don't let your enthusiasm run out of steam!

Pixie214
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Pixie214
5,837 posts
Peasant

&ltonders through memory> Oceans 11, oceans 11 was it good. It was the EMP one, right? Anyway that doesn't matter cool story DDX I look forward to reading more I don;t have a good book at the moment.

Zega
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Zega
6,917 posts
Peasant

Well EXUUUSE me for having a dream/goal Fst6!

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