Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The Way of Moderation has ended (page 566)

how are horses ale to do backflips?

You seee, they use their 5th leg in order to get a bit of a catapult going on.

And very very carefully.

"Plaaaaaay the best song in the world OR I'LL EAT YOUR SOUL."

Strop. I lurve you.

Funnel webs aint that scary either...I got some at the back. :P

Would that be hidden inside there big fluffy tails?

Male horse genitalia are very long, hence the expression "the stallion is walking on five legs" (that's how it's worded in Danish). Thoad was, once more, making an unnecessary penis joke.

Not all anthro horses are portrayed with monstrous lengths, as it doesn't go well in sync with the humanoid body structure. Strop's anatomy on that point isn't AG business anyway~

those zebras on the Discovery channel...

Yeah, thanks a lot for bringing that back too, Kirby. Man, did you see how it-

OKAY SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F***. GUIZE.

I was just here to bring you the next scene, i.e. the one that explains Strop's kidnapping!

Horsey Hallucinations

Groggily, the ninja horse opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, before trying to figure out which parts of him he could and couldn't feel. Eventually, he was able to wiggle his fingers, but they were somehow held in place behind him. The only part of him he couldn't feel was his butt, but that was probably because it was numb from being squashed against the bottom of a hard chair while his legs were tied down...

What!?

Strop's eyes flew open. Not that there was much point- it was dark and musty. Almost too dark for him to make out that he was in a small room and that he was tied to a chair. A rather sturdy chair, which, in his still-partially-anaesthetised state, he had no hope of breaking out of.

Just then, the door opened and the room was flooded with light. Squinting, Strop peered as a figure strode in and stood squarely opposite Strop. As his vision cleared, Strop saw a familiar wolf-skin clad figure staring down at him. Except this figure seemed to have a waist. And hips. And boobs. And surprisingly sensuous lips which were currently pursed sternly.



"I must be seeing things," Strop thought aloud. "Wait, that can't be right: I'm a horse. Or am I?"

"Will you shut it, you dumb-***?" the figure snapped at him.

The penny dropped. "Wow, I'm really not seeing things! Nemo!?"

"That's Nill to you now," Nill corrected him, unimpressed.

Strop started whinney-laughing: "Hahahaha, I get it, nobody and nothing, that's an awesome name!"

Nill said nothing. Strop eventually calmed down: "Wait... so how come you're a woman-" Then another penny dropped (Strop was going to become a rich horse at this rate): "WHERE WERE YOU LAST WEEK!?"



"Nevermind that!" Nill barked. "Just tell me how you got your manhood back!"

Strop switched into storytelling mode. "You totally had to be there. There was this bonfire and then there was lots of rain, and just about all the other mods were there, and... where were you?"

"In this room plotting to kidna- I mean shut up!" Nill gnashed her teeth. "You got me into this mess! I'm going to make you pay!"



"Oh yeah, I had that problem too." Strop recalled.

Nill threw aside her staff and screeched. "See! I've lost my moderator powers! And it's all your fault so you have to fix it now!"

Summoning his secret ninja powers, Strop sprang out of the chair as if he had never been tied down. "It is so not my fault! Zophia's the one who threw the F-bomb. Maybe you should go talk it through with her! Now if you will excuse me... this conference is over."

Nill stood bemused as Strop walked out the room. Or tried to. He huffed over to the door but it was locked. Then he turned sheepishly to Nill.

"The door's locked."**

Nill facepalmed.

---

* Ketamine is traditionally a horse anaesthetic. It is occasionally used as a human anaesthetic, too, except not often because it has dose-related effects. The most notorious of these is its hallucinogenic properties, which seems to only apply to humans (how one tells whether a horse is having hallucinations or not would be difficult, hence Strop's confusion).

** Props to anybody who gets the reference. Hint: China.

The most notorious of these is its hallucinogenic properties, which seems to only apply to humans

Lol. Special K ftw.

** Props to anybody who gets the reference. Hint: China.

This?

Cool, updates. Funny and good, as always. I have one, minor, complaint.

"Hey, that looks like clothes you're wearing. Wait, what's with the syringe? Why does that say KETAMINE? Ow!"

A moment later, there was a thud, and Strop finally stopped talking.

This seems to indicate that the ketamine knocked Strop out relatively instantly. This is, needless to say, unrealistic. This and unrealistic weapon silencers bug me.

This is, needless to say, unrealistic.

I know :\\ Chloroform would have been a much better agent to use, but then I wouldn't have been able to make that horribly obscure horse joke. These days we use suxamethonium for rapid induction but only registered anaesthetists can get their hands on the stuff so...

And Firefly gets major props!

Thoad has some unhealthy obsession with pe-

Peanuts?

ONe thing you need to remember, Nemo, is that just because you are a girl doesn't mean you can take advantage of your body. Sure, you have tits now but...well...just don't touch yourself just because you can.

That is just...nevermind, my rep would be ruined.

Well then its pretty much a waste being involved in that part of WOM