For those of you with a photogenic memory, you'll (hopefully) remember...that a long long time ago, a NewComer decided to start his first store thread. Well, it was sort of a failure, but now that NewComer is restarting the thread. Sit back and enjoy the show.
----------------- KOA Chronicles- The Beginning
All was well in the Kingdom of Armor. For three thousand years, the country existed in a blissful golden age. The Kings had been benevolent, ruling justly. The latest of this line was King McNeely VII. He was assisted by a wise, noble council, the Council of Armor. The people were contented, all 300,000 of them. Crime level was virtually nil, except for the odd spammer. All was right, till three months ago.
The founder of the McNeely Dynasty whose name has now been lost to the ages had fought an evil being, the Naughty Sorceress Carlie at the Beginning of Time to gain control of the Kingdom and free the people whom Carlie had enslaved. He succeeded after an epic battle, banishing her to the Far North, imprisoning her in Castle Casanova. For three millennium, she bided her time, gathered her forces and retrained herself in the dark arts...
Now terror stalks the land. Carlie struck back finally, leading vast hordes from the Void across the land. The King was taken by surprise and imprisoned in a plexiglass prism, unable to break free. The Council was corrupted, a shadow of its former glorious self. One by one the great lords of the Council felt their will submitting to Carlie.
The populace was terrified; creatures of the night appeared and took them to the Sorceressâ lair, evil experiments conducted on them where their brains were altered, so they spoke in perfect grammar, spoke and talked less etc. Their freedom of speech was lost; there was acute food shortage, general mayhem... The most hated and drastic change was that SPAM meat was banned. It was a utopia, a world where spam was eradicated, but at what cost?
But not all was lost. One of the Councilmen had escaped and raised an army. The great Spamlord Jaza rose. The angry peasants flocked to his side, gathering whatever weapons they could find. Mercenary groups from around the Kingdom rushed over and joined the Grande Armee.
And so have I, Nichodemus, a knight from a poor noble family that has long been cast into destitute. I saw it as a chance to restore our fallen status, a chance to regain the favor of the court, a chance to attain unimaginable power. I brought my men of course. Hardened guards from my castle, angry for blood. Rebellion quickly ensued, chaos reigned.
The Sorceress responded with haste. The Five Corrupted Ones gathered their armies, the core of which comprised the Loyalists, men who had been tricked, coaxed to join the Sorceress. Void monsters were summoned from magical portals. War was inevitable. A chance for me to see action for once, young hot-blooded buck as I was. War was a sport, a spectacle for me.
It came. Lord Jaza trounced the Sorceress' forces at the Battle of Tortuga. He captured more than half the Kingdom. But it was not to last. The Sorceress by some unspeakable black magic conjured up the Grey Plague, and slowly Jaza started losing ground, losing fortress after fortress. The plague came like a storm, it destroyed whatever creative thought we had, turned the afflicted to mindless vegetables, incapable of anything. Just two weeks after the first battle, Jaza had lost half of his men to the epidemic.
At the last skirmish fought, the Battle of Aether, Jazaâs army was utterly massacred, weakened by disease and with little will to fight. The Sorceress' Void wizards drove Jaza's army of the battleground. Her Spam Clubbers and Troll Tamers slew all of Jazaâs men, decisively ending the battle. My guards, loyal as they were had all perished. A vicious blow from a hammer of one of the Lords almost cracked my ribs, flung me clear of my horse. Jaza was captured, and thrown into a dirty pest infected jail cell, constantly tortured to give up his spamming ways.
When the victorious army left, the battlefield was strewn with mutilated bodies, survivors groaning and lying on the ground, the ravens of war circling above. As a lone wolf gave a mournful howl, a dark figure rose weakly from the ground.
I have survived, survived the horrific screams, the brutal crushing, the maniacal laughter of that Sorceress as she speared my friends. Hungry for revenge, bitter with defeat, furious with Fate. For Jaza, for the dead, For the Kingdom...It has begun...I no longer care about any reward. I will not rest till I have killed the last of them...
(To Be Continued)
------------------ Disclaimer: Any reference to people and their names', real or fictitious is very very regrettable and unfortunate. All work was written by nichodemus though certain elements have been inspired by Armor Games, the fighting fantasy series and KOL (Kingdom of Loathing). Thank you. More will follow.
PS: Anyway, I have their permission, so all is well.
Now I should start flaming you): But I won't do it, but I can't leave you without punishment, so come at 12 o'clock outside the saloon and we will solve our problems with weapons, the internet is too small for both of us. (I always wanted to say something Clint Eastwood style)
Meh. Santa Dominigo. Me and my Latino cats so mean, even Mobuto runs away when he sees us. When we go for a run, it's terrorist heaven.
Take this for an example. One day, we saw a guy we didn't like the look of. He was outside of his house cracking nuts to make cookies.
Let's just say the next day, instead of him cracking nuts, it was vice versa.
Meh. Santa Dominigo. Me and my Latino cats so mean, even Mobuto runs away when he sees us. When we go for a run, it's terrorist heaven.
Take this for an example. One day, we saw a guy we didn't like the look of. He was outside of his house cracking nuts to make cookies.
Let's just say the next day, instead of him cracking nuts, it was vice versa.
You are good, I did underestimate you, but don't forget that I am Italian too. I will be watching you from now on dear Nicola (I had to change your name to be more godfatherlike). ):
You are good, I did underestimate you, but don't forget that I am Italian too. I will be watching you from now on dear Nicola (I had to change your name to be more godfatherlike). ):
Santa Dominigo = Dominican Republic = Latin America
No Italian Mafia. But we got Trujilo. Oh yeah, that's one bad boy. He was Mobuto before Mobuto was Mobuto.
Okay guys. Please don't beg to be included. I know what I'm doing, and I figured I'm writing the Chronicles till....I don't know. Parts in their hundreds. Yeah, it's a long term, big project of mine. It's the piece of work, I'm most satisfied with so far in all my writings. Just give me the space and the time to fully shape it and bring out it's potential.
Quite a long read all at once, Good work though!
If you think that's long, try reading it next time. If I can, I'm going to top the Mod Wars started by Thoad.
