Just share your deepest darkest thoughts here.And maybe some kids or teens with past experience can help out someone else. As for me I'm here if you need someone to talk to about it. =)
Divorce kind of sucks in general for the kids involved. Except in an abusive relationship. It happened to me when I was in the fourth grade, and I kind of blanked that entire year out. Took a couple months to get used to it and it still really messed me up emotionally. But in hindsight it was kind of a good thing for me. Since my mom had to start working again, I became really self reliant and grew up pretty fast. In general it made me tougher emotionally and I am the person I am because of it, and wouldn't have it any other way. Well, other than the emotional issues. Plus I totally hate therapists now too. Advice to kids going through it: It'll probably really suck, but you definitely will feel better. That cliche "Time Heals All Wounds" has a lot of truth in it.
Wow, thats good to hear. I actually went through it when I was in 3rd grade, but really it has been my whole life. I remember leaving my own home to hotels with my mother and sister because of my father was a threat to us. I remember him strangling my sister, choking my mom, and hitting my aunt. I really do hate therapists too. I had to go to rehab twice. And man, its tough. In 2005 I met a man who has changed me to this day and I call him my father figure. It's good to have one. And like you, it's nice to see ourselves get past such things. To this day I try to avoid my father the best I can. I don't want anyone bringing me down anymore.
My parents divorced when I was 2. So the past 15 years have been pretty self reliant. Although I don't spend a lot of time alone, only since the past couple months. I'm one of those that were raised by the public school system. My mom always had to work so I was always with friends or home alone. So yup, my life has been pretty lonely.
Mine too, I lived away from family because I was in another city. And yet here still I am alone at home most of the time untill school starts and I see my friends and My Father Figure who is also my Choir Teacher =D
I never had a father figure. Until recently. Which is somewhat late. But late's better than never, right?
Of course, I hope yours is just as good as mine is. XD Although mine has a family and 3 kids, he finds time to talk and spend time with me =D I'm connecting with his family more every time there is an event. There is this song by Angels and Airwaves called Rite of Spring, it talks about Tom Delounge's Teen Life and about divorce..also the lead singer of Blink 182. Look it up on youtube its so directive and in the song it says "If I had a chance for another try, I wouldn't change a thing. It's made me all of who I am inside and if I could thank God that I am here and that I am alive and everyday I wake I tell myself a little harmless lie. The whole wide world is mine." It's such a nice song and it really changes people views on how the lives of people who go through life changing struggles are.
Well there ya go! At least you can call him dad after your mom marries him. I wish you the best in all the activities and lost time you can make up with him just as I did.....although we haven't gone fishing yet lol.
Yup. I got 3 months until I'm a legal adult so, not really a lot of time. When that comes around I gots to go. And get a job. But, 3 months is a long time if you use it right.
Yea, I'm gonna turn 17 in 3 weeks, but he keeps telling me he has one more year with me....thats because I'm going to be a senior, but it actually isn't true because I dont think we are just going to stop talking to each other because I'm not in his class anymore. Hopefully we will become life long buddies =P.Haha.
Almost all my friends growing up had parents who were divorced. It's made me realize how lucky I am to have parents that are still together and love each other. One of my friends parents got divorced when she was only three years old and her mom moved her and her brother 3,000 miles away from their dad. They only got to see thier dad once a year and her brother became very abusive and thier mother is an alcoholic. When we were in the fifth grade her dad died and I could tell that it killed her inside but she didn't go to his funeral because she didn't want to go with her mom and brother. Her brother wouldn't physically abuse her when she had friend's around so I spent a lot of nights over at her house, though it didn't stop the mental abuse or her mom's drinking. She spent a lot of nights over at my house too, if we could have gotten away with being at my house every night we probably would have been. Once when we were about fifteen I asked her way she had never run away or tried to get the police involved or anything and she said that she didn't want to be taken away from the only family she knew and put in foster care. So she lived with her brother's physical and mental abuse and her mother's drinking. She eventually confided in me (after making me promise that I would take no action) that she had already attempted suicide about thirty times and that she would probably try again. At that point there had already been a few times when she had been absent from school for a week or more and when I asked she confirmed that those were times when she had been in the hospital. It was never the abuse of her brother and mother that directly put her there but the injury she inflicted on herself because of it. Eventually her brother did stop abusing her, I think as he got older he realized that he shouldn't be taking his anger out on her and started to understand that damage he was doing to her. Now that both of them are adults it seems like he tries a lot to make up for the things her did to her when they were younger. I don't think he will ever really do it but at least he has changed and he is being a better person. Her mother however is still a drunk within 20 minutes of being home from work she's already beginning to slur her words and by the time the sun goes down she's usually on the verge of passing out. My friend, and her brother, have reached a point where they pretty much ignore her. My friend has spent most of her life trying to convince her mom that she needs help and eventually her brother started trying to convince her too, but she refuses to acknowledge that she has a problem and gets angry with them when they suggest that she does. This girl I'm taking about stopped trying to kill herself a long time ago, I spent most of our teen years helping her to understand that the things her mother and brother did were not her fault and in general doing my best to be there for her when she needed a friend and she eventually realized that this was true and that killing herself wouldn't solve anything. She's going to school to be a nurse now.
I know that whole story doesn't seem to have alot to do with divorce, but I guess I just wanted to share my own experiance with the kind of life that sometimes follows divorce. I know that there were a lot of times that friend wished that the court had award her father full custody instead of her mother but she was young enough when it happened that she doesn't know exactly how the whole thing went down or if her dad even tried to get custody or even if life with him would have been any better. She only knows that the time once a year when she got to go down and spend a week with her dad was a time that she looked forward to more than Christmas because it was the most peaceful week in her entire year. Her brother was happy during those times, not angry, and her dad didn't drink (at least not to excess). I just know that her life is better now that she is an adult.
My mums parents divorced when she was a child. They divorced because this bogan skank parasite latched on to the family in the form of an affiar. She lives in another state to us and to this day she still loves setting people against eachother in a family she doesn't deserve to be in. When she finally dies I don't think we'll bother wasting money to go up to the funeral. My parents are still together but my grandparents divorce did enough damage.
Divorce is an end result to stupid emotional people. Most people can't get along with eachother, but they still marry and have kids... or just have kids and drink.
