ForumsThe TavernChuck Norris/ Mr. T Jokes

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SirNoobalot
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SirNoobalot
22,207 posts
Nomad

(((I am very sure this has been posted before.Whoever Made that,i give my apologies for copying you.o n if should go in forum games then id b happy to move it.)))

well pretty much just post any funny chuck norris/ mr t jokes here.

Rules!
1.No spamming, like this: !@##$$ sdfddcxxfddfs
2.keep it nice, dont include anyone in it in a way that is offending.
3. Have fun

  • 24 Replies
KamikazeKraut
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KamikazeKraut
152 posts
Nomad

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
www.chucknorrisfacts.com. Not my jokes.

lemmingboy10
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lemmingboy10
55 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris "jokes" arent jokes... these are FACTS

TSL3_needed
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TSL3_needed
5,579 posts
Nomad

I'm Mr. T and I'm a night elf mohawk!

firetail_madness
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firetail_madness
20,591 posts
Blacksmith

# Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
# When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
# The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
# Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
# Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
# Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
# Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
# Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.

pauler94
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pauler94
2,513 posts
Nomad

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.

When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.

firetail_madness
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firetail_madness
20,591 posts
Blacksmith

Pauler, I just named them both in the ones I wrote.

firetail_madness
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firetail_madness
20,591 posts
Blacksmith

Here's a few more:

# Mr T's chains are not made of gold, they are actually made of curium, one of the heaviest elements in existence. They were put there by the CIA to slow him down, and you're lucky they do, fool.
# Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
# 5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
# When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
# Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
# Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.
# Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
# Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
# When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.
# When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
# Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
# On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
# Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
# There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
# Mr. T does not actually pity fools. He is just being sarcastic. No one has noticed because it is difficult to pick up such subtleties while being bludgeoned.
# Gravity dosen't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay down. Birds and planes are exempt beacuse they are shaped like Ts.
# Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.

pauler94
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pauler94
2,513 posts
Nomad

Pauler, I just named them both in the ones I wrote.

Sorry about that, I must have still been writing those 2 jokes (I was looking for some online) when you posted yours.
afroninja1723
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afroninja1723
575 posts
Nomad

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norrisâ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnât lifting himself up, heâs pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norrisâ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesnât wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

madgamer131
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madgamer131
671 posts
Nomad
HoodHulk58
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HoodHulk58
1,181 posts
Nomad

Man Mr. T would Whopp Chuck Norris into an acoma then while chuck's in an acoma he'd relive that beat down OVER and Over And Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over again until he reawakens to challenge Mr.T again jus to get his ass kicked again worse then the time he got his ass kick by bruce lee ion way of the dragon...THANK YOU and Good Day!!!

dagothur1300
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dagothur1300
149 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately, he has never cried
Chuck Norris is his own father

Mooco5
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Mooco5
20 posts
Nomad

There was once a pepper that was so hot, even Chuck Norris said, "Wow, this is actually kind of spicy."

If you play Stairway to Heaven backwards, you can hear Chuck Norris making out with your girlfriend.

Once, Mr. T and Chuck Norris decided to have a showdown. The Earth become so afraid that it soiled itself and created France.

Chuck Norris stole you bike.

Xcalibur45
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Xcalibur45
1,830 posts
Farmer

Jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim on land.

KamikazeKraut
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KamikazeKraut
152 posts
Nomad

Nice!

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