Alright, this is allowed right? If not, a mod can lock it...
Anyways, I'm doing this because I feel that my previous thread for my work is being brought down by *cough* 'lesser' works that I had done without really focusing on the affect(s) it would generate, or simply put, if they were 'good'(because greatness is irrelative). I'll just put the new works that I really work hard on here, along with the previous ones that I view as 'acceptable'(what is really acceptable anyways? What with the world as it is...). Enjoy...
Thanks once again to Nichodemus for encouraging me to make the first thread (I got your name right this time :P, maby you should look at YOUR OP :P). Haha... __________
Published: June 15 '09 at 1:10 PM
Rise of the Lycans By: Mav
And where do they go? That is a secret no one may know.
Plundering Murdering Lycan Thieves Who blend with stone And meld with trees
GLinting eyes and mottled fur Appear like nightmare Vanish like smoke
What steals upon the silent air Razor fangs and hidden claws A deadly killer lieing there
No one living can hide from thee O those who tread invisibly Cross hill and dell, wood and stone __________ Published: June 18 '09 at 9:29 AM
Wondering By: Mav
Sitting here today, Wondering what price I have to pay. A though, an idea, its all I want! But still the words just sit and taunt.
And still, I ask, shall I continue? Before I chance to offend you? Words that used to flow quite nice Now instead have turned to ice.
The inspiration that was my flame, Has gone out, and i must blame; Was it fear or lack of skill? These harsh words oh do they kill
Alas, I know not my fate And I fear that I may be too late Tendrils escaping afore they begin And to this all i say is 'fin' --- (revised edition) __________ Published: Jun 22 '09 at 2:41 PM
Uprising By: Mav
Sitting in the quiet night I watch them as they pass Preparing for the final fight awaiting the command
A silent hush besets us all Like the quiet before the storm Wondring what will happen to us all For we are slaves no more!
Come to exact our deadly fee Upon our overlords As we race towards the melee War cries ringing out
Slashing claw and gnashing fang The skirmish rages on The fight for our freedom hangs By a single thread
Crimson blood staings their milky skin And gruesome wounds we sport But the Vampire's line is getting thin And soon they turn and flee
We give chase with howls of glee And hunt the Vampire scum But sadly none of us could see The trap t'was being sown
We chase them towards a shade glen We fought with the magnificent thought That we would surely win But oh were we wrong
Before we knew what was going on We were all surrounded! We had all thought that we had won! The cause was surely lost
__________ Published: Jun 22 '09 at 6:39 PM
Something in Nothing By: Mav
A shadow in the night No one knows my plight Muddling my mind It is everything but kind
It is unique to all But all of man will fall Creepy, crawly, skuttling things Those horrible, ghastly paings
With nothing to fear But no one will hear Enclosed in their mind To be free all you need is someone Kind __________ Published: Jun 28 '09 at 5:13 PM
Lost By: Mav Turning round and round I don't know where I am Hoping to be found I am lost
To survive is my goal To die is not And deep down my soul Knows that I am lost
Seeking shelter, food, and hope I wander this lonely place But soon i sit and mope Because I am lost.
Wandering round this wood Wildlife scared at my pressence This situation is not good For I am still lost
Yet suddenly in the air My wildest dreams revealed A person came that really care'd I am lost no more
The helicopter that saved my life Took me to my home It ended alot of strife But in the urban jungle...
I am lost __________ Published: Jun 28 '09 at 5:38 PM
Up By: Mav
Standing in line just waiting The advertisements baiting Snaring you in like a hungry fish Saying it is all you wish
Happy thoughts flood through my mind But soon do I find That I'm in front of the line The pilot reassures me that I'll be fine
Rising higher, higher, higher still My worst nightmare is now fulfilled In this ballon above the ground A shred of courage cannot be found
Eyes shut tight I ponder my plight Till the pilot says where going down And soon we begin heading towards the town
With clammy hands and a pale face I sit and wonder about my case And when we land and I can leave I hop off and through the crowd I weave
Looking back to that day With regret all I can say Should have I just glimpsed down I could have seen the whole town... __________ Published: Jul 2 '09 at 6:01 PM
Im not buying it... By: Mav
Billy May's Here! At the tv I Peer Sighing outloud at what I hear
You should buy Sham-Wow! I want to give you a Pow! Just so i can hear you say ow...
...so you should Buy! I want to cry Advertising makes me die __________ Published: Jul 6 '09 at 11:05 AM
Lead Rain By: Mav
On the Western Front To the East of Normandy American Troops seek refuge Against the a'cursed rain
Thunder booms out But not a cloud can be seen The Men cower in fox holes And seek protection from the rain
There home on the front The holes where they hide Can be there grave too If the rain hits them
The thunder gets lounder Men prepare for the worst And hope for the best And pray the rain doesnt come
Death comes quick To those who are hit By the rain unawares And unprepared
Like shrieking pipers The rain comes And hits the ground With a lound boom
Trees explode and Dirt is kicked up Where men used to be A smoking crater lies
Wounded men scream Cries of 'medic' ring out And yet the rain still comes And comes and comes
And then the rain stops The storm is over And men sink into their holes To await the next storm __________ Published: Jul 6 '09 at 3:44 PM
Marching On By: Mav
Dissapointed faces Stand out like a wart on the tip of a nose
I give it all I got But it sometimes isnt Enough to carry on
Writing all the time Yet mediocre reigns Over all my poems
This could be the end It would not surprise me If I dont continue this legacy
To re-write history was the aim But somebody always beats me Like a worn-out drum
Yet I continue on Renewing forgotten paths Instant gratification
But people notice My poor attempts And still I write
I write of what Ever I feel and think In sickness or health
People leave comments Good or bad It all helps to keep me going
I continue forging Out old trails And forsaking new ones
To be unique In this same world I think I still believe that
Yet all veiw me as the same Another guy trying to survive And crashing, and burning
Through the wind-blown ashes I reneiw my life Like a phoenix
And the game continues The anthem still plays And I still continue this old beat
Like water soiled with oil I am clear deep down But muddied at the surface
As a flame dies down And is forever extinguished All writers must go
Yet this is not a farewell As much as past recollections When the weight of it all was lighter
And we all hope That people will look back and say Your just like Nicho, Alt, Jezz(ss), or Gantic
And your name included Like the ringing bell Brings you notice
Depressing this sounds Yet happy at the core A beacon in the night
Words are immortal Yet people are not And the people write the continuing, the immortal
By writing I hope I can create a legacy Of my own
And stray from renewing And to begin forging New paths
So I shall March On To the same old beat And resilient I will be __________ Published: Jul 8 '09 at 6:53 PM
Books By: Mav
Reading a book Thats got me hooked
It takes me to unknown places And lets me see brand new faces
Riding along side heros or In a cafe, watching it pour
When ever I begin to read Magical images to my mind feed
Where will I go I do not know
So I open that book To get Hooked __________ Published: Jul 10 '09 at 9:30 PM
Lost and Gone By: Mav
Growin' inside me That hated thing It controled my life And through fear it reign'd
Emotions outside and a monster within The woe's its caused From them I can't hide
Trying to fix and Searching in me It controlled my life Its demise It could not forsee
The war is waged My hatred at the boil Its life is mine My hands its blood will soil
Lost and gone That part of me Its crazed eyes I will never see
I wont look back I wont shed tears Lost and gone... Now I have no fear
(Authors Note: The poem has no relation what-so-ever to the song 'Dead and Gone' __________ Published: Jul 16 '09 at 11:13 AM
A Life In A Day By: Mav
Thirty Seconds! Till the gate drops foward Putting us out on the beach
The cliff-face is silent No movement seen Maby they all ran away...
Twenty Seconds! The tension builds Whumps of shelling in the background
Ten Seconds! Then hell is unleashed On this god-dammed beach
Five Seconds! The bosun screams out And still the cliff are silent
Drop! The gate falls down And the cliffs come alive
Bullets ping off the sides And the men in front fall And the bullets still come
We burst into flame And jump over the side To stay alive...a bit longer
Wading through the waves Like sitting ducks We get picked off
The tide turns crimson The bodies float And we cower behind eachother
Mother! Mother! Some kid cries out He soon stops...
A LCT* explodes Raining shrapnel and Body parts on us
A man walks around Holding his disembered arm He ask us where it is
We make a break For farther up the beach Only three of us make it
We race up the beach And see some men Pinned up behind a wall We dive next to them To avoid getting hit The guy next to me has no head...
Pshooooooowww! The Rangers launch there rockets At the point
Krauts drop grenades As they climb Blowing them off the ladders
Dirt puffs up And yet they still miss us Behind this wall
A guy dashes over And dives And hits a mine It blows his chin off And moans out He's gone within the hour
Hmmm...good. Though sometimes, the number of words per stanza does not match, you might want to take note of that.
And I don't really fancy a three line stanza, since it offsets the rhyme a little.
Just another attempt to work with meter. The problem with online writing is you cant legnthen words, as opposed to speaking it. So if I were to speak it, it would sound better.
I like your work, though I have to admit that it's a lot of stuff to read and it tested my strength of character to read everything you have posted here. Nice poems I a lot like this one, cause it's very simple and the descriptions are great: Plum blossoms falling In pink flurries just like snow Ancient temple shrines
Wildflowers blooming Lichen-covered old stone walls Misty mountain tops
Ancient sea of pine Endless sea of green nettles In this timeless place
You can thank Alt for that, he's the one that told me to write more descripted, and the first thing that popped into my head was that. I had just finished 'Karatedo: My Way of Life' by Gichin Funakoshi and he signed his haikus 'Pine Wave' so... yea...
It's good I personally find better short poems, the meanings and the feelings are more intense and don't get lost while in a huge poem it's hard to transmit what you want to the reader. I would like reading more poems (or stories) like that one.
Yea, Im gonna be focusing on more descripted poems, rather than the poems that tell a story. The only story that I'm sure of to write will be the 'Shadow in The Night', a mystery/spy kinda thing.
Hmmm...good. Though sometimes, the number of words per stanza does not match, you might want to take note of that.
Words per stanza doesn't really matter very much. ..what matters is that the words per line is similar or at least has a very loose pattern, which Mav has accomplished here.
And I don't really fancy a three line stanza, since it offsets the rhyme a little.
Trust me, that doesn't matter at all - as long as the stanzas are the same line length, it doesn't matter how many lines the stanzas are. What's important is that the rhyme scheme actually fits the stanzas.
Good luck with your story, though I am certain that you will write good stuff if you want. I will also post the picture I made for you with the hope it will bring you luck.
