Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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1,813 posts

Peasant

Posted August 24, '10 3:06am UTC

Well, it'll be tomorrow since it's my birthday and I decided so.
No seriously, I haven't been home much today, and I'm tired as hell from my recent nights. I tend to do insomnia from time to time so even though it's only 23:00, I'm going to bed for now.

Judging tomorrow, word of honor!
*I dunno if I can verbalize it that way in English...bah, to hell, I'm tired, good night all!*

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aknerd

1,416 posts

Peasant

Posted August 24, '10 3:21am UTC

As for your cake; I don't like cake, but thanks for the effort ^^.

Are you sure? Cause I made it out of love.

I saw two people in the park, looking into each others' eyes like only lovers can. I asked if they would come back to my house to help bake a cake for a kindly haiku judge who needed cheering up on his birthday. Of course, they agreed.

When we all arrived back I my place, I kicked them both into oven* (preset to 350 degrees) and baked them for 40 minutes. Then I let them cool down before icing them with compassion. But where I got icing made out of compassion is a whole other story, and not one appropriate for the forums.

Oh, and for relevancy:

Cannibalism.
Too many bones for a cake
Yet it tastes so good

*they were midgets, which made it easier to fit them in.

AG Park ready for the ceremony xP

A ceremony? Sounds like a cake-worthy occasion.

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EnterOrion

4,220 posts

Nomad

Posted August 24, '10 3:27am UTC

Expansion shredding,
Stars melting, into the void,
Universal death

My entry.

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FallenSky

1,813 posts

Peasant

Posted August 24, '10 12:51pm UTC

But where I got icing made out of compassion is a whole other story, and not one appropriate for the forums

:O *speechless*

It might be an interesting cake...

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FallenSky

1,813 posts

Peasant

Posted August 25, '10 2:00am UTC

Judging is underway, please refrain from posting entries from now on if you don't want me to commit seppuku with a butter knife.
Thanks.

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FallenSky

1,813 posts

Peasant

Posted August 25, '10 4:52am UTC

The suicidal award; DrElmer

Infinite secrets
Kept only by the darkness
In a silent world

I like how you refer to the universe in a way vague as to implicit any kind of universe. I don't know why, but this Haiku evokes me the thorn world of a suicidal person - they tend to be secretive about it even though it doesn't always work - striving to hide its despair; A universe about to crumble and fold on itself...

The universe is the limit award; Freakenstein

Escape Earth's cages,
Let free your mind and set sail.
Is there a limit?

The neverending theme of man's imagination...Fits the actual one pretty well. You've layed a clever parallel here between the physical universe in which we live and the universe of thoughts to discover and create at our will. If we're limited by the emptiness of space, the lack of oxygen or the measureless distances, our mind though know no bounds.

The ''Haikuing puningly'' award; FloydTC

there is only one
hence the title universe
not two, only one

Well, you've got me flashing a smile there, nice play on word. The flow's a little off at the end because of the comma, but overall it's a good, intended funny Haiku. Good job.

The ''Dead space'' award; TuxedoPenguin

Our Vast Universe,
The womb of planets and suns,
Also the graveyard

Its quite an interesting comparison you're making there, and I commend you for having personified the universe as both a giver of life and a reaper in less than twenty syllables. You're stating an evidence so originally that it inclines us to give it more of a thought than we would have done otherwise. Nice Haiku.

The probability sum award; Graham

All that could have been...
What once was, and since happened,
Aggregates all things.

Well, it's hard to guess whether you're making a reference to buddhism or to...What was he called...Feynman?...Bah; a quantum physicist but anyhow, it's an interesting description of the universe. Though I've yet to find out why, I appreciate that concept of reality; this all embracing theory about all that exists, will exist and has existed as well as all that doesn't, will never and has never existed. It spurrs me to considerate every single aspect of life seriously, however futile or trivial it may be, because it helps form the universe the way we know it...

The clefts of life award; Ernie15

All known creations
Lie within the crevices
Hidden in deep space

Saying that the universe is home to absolutely all that lives makes it look pretty important unh? It got me wondering: ''What if it shrugged back to its original state''; like the big crunch theory? Then all would be dead, finished in less than a second. Isn't it quite disturbing? In any case, good Haiku.

The empty is heavy award; HahiHa

Vast plains of nothing,
Yet occupying so much
Of our feeble minds.

What else could fascinate our minds so much as infinity. In times of need, in times of thought, man has always turned himself to the stars; to the vast emptiness of the skies. It's the need for a purpose grander than us...Good work.

The E=mcmod award; Strop

Universe of mod
Aimlessly wandering on
Removing da spam.

Simple enough formula; tells us how a mod is worth of spam if it'd be disintegrated upon Ag...Hrm, Hrm; yet another mod having good old fun on the Haiku thread. After Strop, Cen takes the torch to make us laugh. Good job narcissist, and thanks for the spam deletion!

The Grain of sand award; thepossum

Full of mysteries,
That we try to unravel,
Compared, I'm a speck.

What better goal than to try and understand the mechanism of our universe. And even though we're small, we push on through time to discover more and more about the world we live in. It's true that the life of one people in the entirety of the universe is very futile.

The mind is flat award; Zoark

Enveloping dark
Containing nothing and all
Borders for our mind.

You're trying to imply that we can't conceive something greater than the universe?...It's true that even the concept of infinity is one we can hardly conceive as simple men. Nice job yet again, thanks for this ''not on trees'' Haiku.

The Candid award; Nater

Big with plenty stars
It's black and has galaxies
That is what space is

Well, it couldn't be more simple, yet it is absolutely right. I like how you pictured the universe so litteraly and as candidly. It's almost cute; good job.

The Brain tease award; wolf1991

What is this place called?
Why shatter the silence now,
With unending noise.

I'm ashamed to say it but sadly, I'm clueless as to what you're trying to bring here. The first thing that comes to my mind is birth; here I get the feeling you're talking about the start of consciousness; the formation of a thinking tool for a life to come in a noisy universe...Well, we'll have to have a talk about that one Wolf; Great work though!

The ''Ask Samus'' award; MrAutomatic

Black holes, distant suns
What lies beneath the surface?
We may never know.

There will always remains mysteries about the universe, and that's what makes it a tool of worship so grand. By worship, I mean scientifical worship...See, I did an Oxymoron. Well, nice Haiku!

The peter pan award; Teeheegirl123

The child's eyes wander,
Yearning to explore, fly free,
To be with the stars...

Yet another remarkable Haiku by Teehee, although I have some trouble with this one's rhythm. The intended pause at the end of the second line cuts the flow and the overall haiku is less fluent but still, it's amazing how you always tie so much emotions to your poetry. I like this idea of a child's dream; didn't we all wish to be astronauts as children?

The 1000 bucks question; obould

Possibility
Is an endless wondering
Is end ever true?

That, I guess we'll never know...Or at least we won't be the ones to know but until we do we're free to elaborate all we want no? I guess that's what it's all about; questionning...

The life is a struggle award; Saving123

The universe is,
Marvelous in all of its
Dangerous features.

However dangerous something may be, if it's prone to lure our attention, we'll see it as remarkable. What you desire the most is what you can't have`works the same way with interest. You're always drawn to what seems the most dangerous and exciting, in this case the universe. After all it is true that space travelling is very dangerous...

The - Quote: It makes sense. Really, it does. - award; aknerd

Always exploring
Endless abandoned forest
Looking for a rose

If this is a comparison, it's a vague and ambiguous one. What do we call this in a theme contest; a long shot! Well, I've seen long shots win before...I get that you're comparing the universe to a forest, but the rose could be nigh anything...Hmm, you'll need to lighten me up regarding that Haiku...Anyhow, good job again!

The threshold award; SeaTurtle

The whole sky spreading
like a wide field of flowers
infinite beyond

And after the sky lies the cold and infinite depthness of space, like the earth sleeps endlessly beneath flower beds. I like the natural touch you endowed your Haiku with, it's calm and soothing, peacefull even. Nice work.

The universe is a sepulture award; EnterOrion

Expansion shredding,
Stars melting, into the void,
Universal death

Yet again, you bring a grim touch to the theme. As saddening as it may seem, it's absolutely true; all that was created at the beggining of this universe is bound to rot and die sooner or later. We live in an ever decaying cosmo. However, let's not forget that there's also births and energy conversion; nothing is created, nothing is lost!

Here we go, finally! Now here's the winner, kick him while I sneak out to my bed!

The merit deserving author; HahiHa

Vast plains of nothing,
Yet occupying so much
Of our feeble minds.

As always, it's been bothersome finding a winner but this time around here's the one. I like the creativity of this Haiku; it's representative of the human mind. Since there are no rankers, I'd like to point out some pretty good submissions; congrats to wolf, drelmer and graham for their epic struggle for the merit. Again it was a very close call.

I know I haven't done rankings this week, but it's only because it's late and I'm tired; it'd be my pleasure to talk and develop more about any of these submissions on the thread or on my profile so if you want to debate something with me I'd be glad to have a talk, especially if you want a more in-depth analysis of your haiku.

The next theme is : Haven

The suicidal award; DrElmer\r\n\r\nInfinite secrets\r\nKept only by the darkness\r\nIn a silent world\r\n\r\nI like how you refer to the universe in a way vague as to implicit any kind of universe. I don't know why, but this Haiku evokes me the thorn world of a suicidal person - they tend to be secretive about it even though it doesn't always work - striving to hide its despair; A universe about to crumble and fold on itself...\r\n\r\nThe universe is the limit award; Freakenstein\r\n\r\nEscape Earth's cages,\r\nLet free your mind and set sail.\r\nIs there a limit?\r\n\r\nThe neverending theme of man's imagination...Fits the actual one pretty well. You've layed a clever parallel here between the physical universe in which we live and the universe of thoughts to discover and create at our will. If we're limited by the emptiness of space, the lack of oxygen or the measureless distances, our mind though know no bounds.\r\n\r\nThe ''Haikuing puningly'' award; FloydTC\r\n\r\nthere is only one\r\nhence the title universe\r\nnot two, only one \r\n\r\nWell, you've got me flashing a smile there, nice play on word. The flow's a little off at the end because of the comma, but overall it's a good, intended funny Haiku. Good job.\r\n\r\nThe ''Dead space'' award; TuxedoPenguin\r\n\r\nOur Vast Universe,\r\nThe womb of planets and suns,\r\nAlso the graveyard\r\n\r\nIts quite an interesting comparison you're making there, and I commend you for having personified the universe as both a giver of life and a reaper in less than twenty syllables. You're stating an evidence so originally that it inclines us to give it more of a thought than we would have done otherwise. Nice Haiku.\r\n\r\nThe probability sum award; Graham\r\n\r\nAll that could have been...\r\nWhat once was, and since happened,\r\nAggregates all things.\r\n\r\nWell, it's hard to guess whether you're making a reference to buddhism or to...What was he called...Feynman?...Bah; a quantum physicist but anyhow, it's an interesting description of the universe. Though I've yet to find out why, I appreciate that concept of reality; this all embracing theory about all that exists, will exist and has existed as well as all that doesn't, will never and has never existed. It spurrs me to considerate every single aspect of life seriously, however futile or trivial it may be, because it helps form the universe the way we know it...\r\n\r\nThe clefts of life award; Ernie15\r\n\r\nAll known creations\r\nLie within the crevices\r\nHidden in deep space\r\n\r\nSaying that the universe is home to absolutely all that lives makes it look pretty important unh? It got me wondering: ''What if it shrugged back to its original state''; like the big crunch theory? Then all would be dead, finished in less than a second. Isn't it quite disturbing? In any case, good Haiku.\r\n\r\nThe empty is heavy award; HahiHa\r\n\r\nVast plains of nothing,\r\nYet occupying so much\r\nOf our feeble minds.\r\n\r\nWhat else could fascinate our minds so much as infinity. In times of need, in times of thought, man has always turned himself to the stars; to the vast emptiness of the skies. It's the need for a purpose grander than us...Good work.\r\n\r\nThe E=mcmod award; Strop\r\n\r\nUniverse of mod\r\nAimlessly wandering on\r\nRemoving da spam.\r\n\r\nSimple enough formula; tells us how a mod is worth of spam if it'd be disintegrated upon Ag...Hrm, Hrm; yet another mod having good old fun on the Haiku thread. After Strop, Cen takes the torch to make us laugh. Good job narcissist, and thanks for the spam deletion!\r\n\r\nThe Grain of sand award; thepossum\r\n\r\nFull of mysteries,\r\nThat we try to unravel,\r\nCompared, I'm a speck.\r\n\r\nWhat better goal than to try and understand the mechanism of our universe. And even though we're small, we push on through time to discover more and more about the world we live in. It's true that the life of one people in the entirety of the universe is very futile.\r\n\r\nThe mind is flat award; Zoark\r\n\r\nEnveloping dark\r\nContaining nothing and all\r\nBorders for our mind.\r\n\r\nYou're trying to imply that we can't conceive something greater than the universe?...It's true that even the concept of infinity is one we can hardly conceive as simple men. Nice job yet again, thanks for this ''not on trees'' Haiku.\r\n\r\nThe Candid award; Nater\r\n\r\nBig with plenty stars\r\nIt's black and has galaxies\r\nThat is what space is\r\n\r\nWell, it couldn't be more simple, yet it is absolutely right. I like how you pictured the universe so litteraly and as candidly. It's almost cute; good job.\r\n\r\nThe Brain tease award; wolf1991\r\n\r\nWhat is this place called?\r\nWhy shatter the silence now,\r\nWith unending noise.\r\n\r\nI'm ashamed to say it but sadly, I'm clueless as to what you're trying to bring here. The first thing that comes to my mind is birth; here I get the feeling you're talking about the start of consciousness; the formation of a thinking tool for a life to come in a noisy universe...Well, we'll have to have a talk about that one Wolf; Great work though!\r\n\r\nThe ''Ask Samus'' award; MrAutomatic \r\n\r\nBlack holes, distant suns\r\nWhat lies beneath the surface?\r\nWe may never know.\r\n\r\nThere will always remains mysteries about the universe, and that's what makes it a tool of worship so grand. By worship, I mean scientifical worship...See, I did an Oxymoron. Well, nice Haiku!\r\n\r\nThe peter pan award; Teeheegirl123\r\n\r\nThe child's eyes wander,\r\nYearning to explore, fly free,\r\nTo be with the stars...\r\n\r\nYet another remarkable Haiku by Teehee, although I have some trouble with this one's rhythm. The intended pause at the end of the second line cuts the flow and the overall haiku is less fluent but still, it's amazing how you always tie so much emotions to your poetry. I like this idea of a child's dream; didn't we all wish to be astronauts as children?\r\n\r\nThe 1000 bucks question; obould\r\n\r\nPossibility\r\nIs an endless wondering\r\nIs end ever true?\r\n\r\nThat, I guess we'll never know...Or at least we won't be the ones to know but until we do we're free to elaborate all we want no? I guess that's what it's all about; questionning...\r\n\r\nThe life is a struggle award; Saving123\r\n\r\nThe universe is,\r\nMarvelous in all of its\r\nDangerous features.\r\n\r\nHowever dangerous something may be, if it's prone to lure our attention, we'll see it as remarkable. What you desire the most is what you can't have`works the same way with interest. You're always drawn to what seems the most dangerous and exciting, in this case the universe. After all it is true that space travelling is very dangerous...\r\n\r\nThe - Quote: It makes sense. Really, it does. - award; aknerd\r\n\r\nAlways exploring\r\nEndless abandoned forest\r\nLooking for a rose\r\n\r\nIf this is a comparison, it's a vague and ambiguous one. What do we call this in a theme contest; a long shot! Well, I've seen long shots win before...I get that you're comparing the universe to a forest, but the rose could be nigh anything...Hmm, you'll need to lighten me up regarding that Haiku...Anyhow, good job again!\r\n\r\nThe threshold award; SeaTurtle\r\n\r\nThe whole sky spreading\r\nlike a wide field of flowers\r\ninfinite beyond\r\n\r\nAnd after the sky lies the cold and infinite depthness of space, like the earth sleeps endlessly beneath flower beds. I like the natural touch you endowed your Haiku with, it's calm and soothing, peacefull even. Nice work.\r\n\r\nThe universe is a sepulture award; EnterOrion\r\n\r\nExpansion shredding,\r\nStars melting, into the void,\r\nUniversal death\r\n\r\nYet again, you bring a grim touch to the theme. As saddening as it may seem, it's absolutely true; all that was created at the beggining of this universe is bound to rot and die sooner or later. We live in an ever decaying cosmo. However, let's not forget that there's also births and energy conversion; nothing is created, nothing is lost!\r\n\r\nHere we go, finally! Now here's the winner, kick him while I sneak out to my bed!\r\n\r\nThe merit deserving author; HahiHa\r\n\r\nVast plains of nothing,\r\nYet occupying so much\r\nOf our feeble minds.\r\n\r\nAs always, it's been bothersome finding a winner but this time around here's the one. I like the creativity of this Haiku; it's representative of the human mind. Since there are no rankers, I'd like to point out some pretty good submissions; congrats to wolf, drelmer and graham for their epic struggle for the merit. Again it was a very close call.\r\n\r\n\r\nI know I haven't done rankings this week, but it's only because it's late and I'm tired; it'd be my pleasure to talk and develop more about any of these submissions on the thread or on my profile so if you want to debate something with me I'd be glad to have a talk, especially if you want a more in-depth analysis of your haiku.\r\n\r\nThe next theme is : Haven

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thepossum

3,035 posts

Nomad

Posted August 25, '10 5:01am UTC

Dam! I've never even gotten close so far...I mustn't be good. =(

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Parsat

2,180 posts

Blacksmith

Posted August 25, '10 6:08am UTC

Haven of darkness
Warmth conceived for love, by love
Curled up in the womb

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pHacon

1,903 posts

Nomad

Posted August 25, '10 12:35pm UTC

I'd travel ever on,
For all I wish is to be
In your arms, at last.

I'll probably regret this one later, like all imaginings of my almost-conscious mind. *Yawn* Back to bed.. Er, school. Whatever; I sleep in both places.

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pHacon

1,903 posts

Nomad

Posted August 25, '10 12:38pm UTC

Oops, yeah.. First line has six syllables.. Replace with:

I'd move ever on,
For all I wish is to be
In your arms, at last.

Tiredness forever leads me astray.