Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)
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A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
Well, that said, heres the rules:
1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)
Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...
The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond
(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'
- 5,299 Replies
Ernie, I think you should judge since Orion hasn't even responded to this thread.
Ernie, I think you should judge since Orion hasn't even responded to this thread.
Who needs Ernie? *wink wink*
ok lets see, banned twice. horrible reputation. no one knows my name... im back, probobly dont know me, but im going to start writing again! i deserve applause but i wont ask for it
That's a fine decision.
It's hard to have a horrible reputation when nobody knows your name.
Ernie just tore your argument to shreads.
It's hard to have a horrible reputation when nobody knows your name.
[b]Ernie just tore your argument to shreads.[quote]
.......would that be a "good" thing......
I stumbled here thinking this was the poetry contest...
But I kinda want to enter this, so add one more to the list of people anticipating the judging.
I've been given word that Orion will not be judging this round, which means I now have a full-time job. The judging will take place some time later today, but it may or may not be an elaborate judging unless I feel like it.
Fallen has my part from now on.
So no Ernie, you do not.
That is all.
Fallen has my part from now on.
Lets not make this a thing where we have two respected users arguing over who has the part to judge. I could care less but the conflict does not have to be. If you let Fallen be judge through a comment and not tell the general forum, then that is your fault and Ernie should judge this round.
Fallen has my part from now on.
So no Ernie, you do not.
That is all.
this is the long anticipated response.........
the response that took an excess of a week to get.....
hahahahahahahahahahahahaah........
good luck all participants. -_-
I'm glad that Fallen has now taken your part. However, I started judging a few hours ago and I'm pretty close to finishing, so I'm not going to abandon my post this current round.
I've decided, since I have nothing better to do, that I will do a real judging this round instead of a quick one, because it's actually easier for me to do it this way.
The Rhyming Award - dudeguy45
My machete hacks
Huge *** ants on my slacks
Jane Goodall, nice rack
The rhymes made me laugh, especially that last one. I'm sure a fair percentage of male chimpanzees would agree with you there.
The First and Last Award - idontsuckthatbunneh
Jungle awakens,
The calls of activity,
The buzzing jungle.
The first two lines were adequate, but the last line seemed out of place. Probably because you used the same word both at the beginning and at the end of this poem.
The "There's Always One" Award - Endscape
BEAST i have never
known, FEAR i have never felt
....such beauty unknown.
One cannot win this contest until they can be one with the syllable count, and that means lines should not carry onto the next line just to fit the syllable count. It usually doesn't flow very well when that happens. I see at least one entry like this every round and it just puzzles me.
The Action Award - CommanderDude7
Racing through the woods
The predator on my tail
Its breath on my heels
I don't have too many bad things to say about this one. I wasn't quite satisfied with the flow of it, but I was impressed by the imagery.
The Rainforest Award - TackyCrazyTNT
Rain patters on vines
Stretching between foliage.
We wait for the drops.
This was a great entry with great imagery and a great flow. The only line I didn't like was the last one; for some reason it just didn't seem like it fit the other two lines.
The Suspense Award - Peggster
Devoid of feeling,
Disfigured forms in shadows,
Zealous for the hunt.
This was another great entry with excellent imagery. Although this time, it was the second line that I found I had some trouble with. I think it could have flowed much better.
The Accuracy Award - StrategicCaptain
Dung's everywhere,
carcasses of a weak prey,
what a horrid place.
As poetic as this may or may not be, so far this seems to be the most accurate description of a jungle.
The "Another Day in Parasite" Award - HahiHa
Deep and rich colours,
unquiet atmosphere; so wet,
Watch the parasites
The first two lines are acceptable, but that last line just doesn't seem like it fits in this poem!
The Technicolor Award - Gamingtime
Blue crystal ceiling,
gold strewn floor, timber grown walls.
Where potential breeds.
The colorful metaphors used in this poem were excellent. The last line didn't quite flow with the other two lines, however. It seemed ever-so-slightly irrelevant to the other two. Not completely irrelevant, but just enough to notice an irregularity.
The Found Poem Award - gaboloth
Crawling in the wet
The mold is unstoppableÃ
Quiet disrepair
It almost sounds like each line is from a different poem. None of the lines seem very relevant to one another. Maybe I'm just being poetically paranoid, but this is how it sounds to me when I read it aloud.
The Politically (In)correct Award - FloydTC
where'd they hide themselves?
this sure aint a jungle for
blastin' gook commies
A poem about the Vietnam War. Nice take on the theme, and good job with the accuracy in the dialogue.
The "One With Nature" Award - Armpit
Winds rest for the night
Tranquil waterfalls thunder
A calm scene comes forth
I really like the flow and the imagery in this poem. I don't think I have anything bad to say about this one...
The Last Minute Award - deathopper
The mighty jungle
Calms our souls with it's beauty.
Yet it is savage.
The first two lines are pretty decent, but that last line just contradicts the other two right out of nowhere, like it had changed its mind at the last minute on how it truly felt about the jungle.
The Disappointment Award - Ernie15
A map is futile
Tangled in the underbrush
Madness claims my life
It's a proven fact that this is the greatest haiku ever written. However, since I am the judge and I cannot (legally) make myself win without getting kicked off the judge's chair, I will say no more about this poem.
The Switcharoo Award - theregulator
It's many sounds soothe
The monkeys and parrots call
The leopard grumbles
I feel as though if the first line and the third line were to be switched around, this poem would flow much more nicely.
The Lame Deer Award - LivingToDie
Stalking a lame deer,
Others are afraid of me,
King of the jungle.
The only good thing I can say about this poem is that there is nothing bad I can say about this poem.
The Doomed Award - iMogwai
From my tree I watch,
Throw fruits at those below me,
Crap, tigers can climb?!
I would hate to be the guy in the tree. That's all I have to say.
The Sentence Gap Award - Maverick4
Rising from the ground,
Steel structures emulate the
Trees I used to know.
You can't end a line with "the". You just can't. Ever. It's against the unwritten laws of haiku.
The Bread is Dead Award - Krizaz
My eyes are weary
The cold night is upon me
My last breath, is death
I liked this poem up until the very last part in which "breath" is rhymed with "death". It was a bit distracting from the rest of the poem, which was pretty good otherwise.
The Name of the Game Award - thepinkbunny
i like the forsest
it is deweey and warm
i like it like that
Unless "deweey" is a two-syllable word, your second line only has six syllables. The image was a nice touch, though.
The "There's Always Two" Award - waluigi
Muggy, humid air,
animals take cover as
the downpour begins.
Two lines should not be one long line with a gap in it. Two lines should be two lines.
The Sinister Award - Quirinus1
As you lay easy,
Suddenly: creepy crawlers.
Longing for your blood.
I like the evil touch given to this poem. I'm not so sure about the colon in the second line, but it was a decent poem nonetheless.
The Advertisement, The Endorsement, The Award - Ghgt99
The soft shining mist
The call of the animals
The place of nature.
Using the word "the" to start all three lines makes this poem almost sound like an advertisement for the jungle rather than a poem about it.
The Shakespearian Award - FallenSky
Bequeath to the soil
That which you have grown so long
The rainforest thrives
I do like the Shakespearian sound to it. Although I don't believe that Shakespeare himself ever wrote any haikus, it's an interesting tone for this type of poem.
And now comes the hard part...
Placement Awards!
3rd place - Peggster
Devoid of feeling,
Disfigured forms in shadows,
Zealous for the hunt.
I really liked this poem, although it was a bit confusing at times. It had a pretty decent flow and I was somewhat impressed by the imagery.
2nd Place - FallenSky
Bequeath to the soil
That which you have grown so long
The rainforest thrives
This was a tough decision, and I really liked this entry because it was nearly perfect, but there was one that still managed to top it for me.
1st Place - Armpit
Winds rest for the night
Tranquil waterfalls thunder
A calm scene comes forth
Why I liked this poem so much is not entirely a mystery to me. The images given to me by this poem were just as audial as they were visual. Something about the calm tone combined with the "thundering waterfalls" made me choose this poem over the rest. Great job, and go fish that merit of yours out of the watering hole.
New theme: The Arctic
New deadline: May 19
Happy haiku'ing!
Using the word "the" to start all three lines makes this poem almost sound like an advertisement for the jungle rather than a poem about it.
Lol. If you call now, we will throw in an extra can of Leech-B-Gon!! =D
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