Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Maverick4

6,800 posts

Peasant

Posted August 24, '09 12:48am UTC

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

5,299 Replies

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thepossum

3,035 posts

Nomad

Posted May 3, '10 2:30am UTC

Spam? How the hell is this anything like canned meat? As to the judging, I believe EnterOrion is the judge, correct? If he is going to judge he needs to get a move on.

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EnterOrion

4,220 posts

Nomad

Posted May 3, '10 5:32am UTC

Patience, dammit. Judging isn't something that should be rushed.

Considering I'll be up the next 18 hours, I'll judge anyways.

I think I swallowed poison (or something that doesn't belong in me). D:

I feel like crap.

Judging is underway.

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EnterOrion

4,220 posts

Nomad

Posted May 3, '10 6:16am UTC

Hard judging. Again.

You are all too good at this.

Wrong Syllable Count otherwise it would have placed third award - TSL3_needed

Crushing pressure kills me
Snuffing my very life out
May as well die now

Seriously. Award says it all.

Refrigerator? - Graham

Pressure hurts me lots.
I wrote haikus about it.
Refrigerator.

I'm not even going to ask, that was so random. I lol'd though. Literally.

No More Breath Award - Thyll

I let the air out
Lungs constricted, can't get more
I writhe in the pain

Very good. Easily placed. I like the second line in particular.

I'll finish this tomorrow. I think I need to go . . . .

No these, are not placements.

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Graham

8,051 posts

Nomad

Posted May 3, '10 8:47pm UTC

No I thought you were going to judge it all! I got my hopes up for nothing! D:

[quote=EnterOrion]I'll finish this tomorrow. I think I need to go . . . .[/quote]

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EnterOrion

4,220 posts

Nomad

Posted May 4, '10 1:58am UTC

Well, it is going to be all here. Now.

No I thought you were going to judge it all! I got my hopes up for nothing! D:

That's one of the reasons I posted it instead of leaving. xD

Anxiety lulz.

Anyways. Finish:

Cheating Award - beastahayes

Beads of sweat roll down
I look down at his paper
The teacher calls me

I've totally been through that. Other than the getting called out part.

Stationary Award - Armpit

From every angle
Invisible walls close in
So I don't float off

I sorta got the feeling that the walls were there to keep you stationary. Good. Made me think.

Innuendo Award - Krizaz

It's always up there
It's always telling me how
Pressure, you suck balls

That was perverted for some reason. xD

Altitude Award - Dudeguy

My ears start to pop
Wether it be sea bottom
or acending plane

That is most certainly true.

Hyperventilation Award - Ernie

Hyperventilate
Seventy breaths per minute
Don't force this on me!

*claps* Awesome. Very good. Nice flow and vocabulary.

Measurement Award - aknerd

Moles, R, and Kelvin
Over Volume in liters
Pressure is simple

I don't get this one in the slightest beyond some kind of measurement. Now my head hurts.

Crushing Award - TerryLasVegas

Isobars dancing
As the record is broken
And the earth is crushed

That would have to be one hell of a pressure storm.

Fighting Award - FloydTC

I feel the pressure
of my fist against your face
you have a fat head

I lol'd. Whether I was supposed to, I don't know. But I did.

Pessimistic Award - MoonFairy

The crushing pressure
Keeps building up on us both
We should tell the truth.

Quit being so pessimistic. Makes me sad. D:

As for the poem, it's good.

Over Expecting Award - DrElmer

I've been pushed too far
More is expected of me
Than I can pull off

That happens all too often . . . .

Struggle Award - Teeheegirl

Everyone watching
Success or failure awaits
Too late to back down

It's good, 'nuff said.

Literal and Figurative Award - Samy

Diet coke and mentos
Or society and peers
Which is your pressure?

Nice. Very well done. I like the comparison between literal and figurative.

Is there? - XVERB

Tell me what to do?
don't pressure me into it!
theres too much pressure

Yes there is. Lol.

Conqueror Award - Parsat

Standing above clouds
The roof of the world conquered
Air too thin to breathe

This one was very good. Each line. Very good.

Power Award - FallenSky

Sky crumbles and fall
The cloudless panorama
Is one of no dreams

For some reason I got the feeling that this one was about positions of power. Hm.

Concrete Award - thepossum

Pressure is a beast,
A beast with various forms,
Abstract yet concrete.

I'll count it this time, only cause I was late and that would sorta make me a hypocrite if I didn't let you because you were late. Try to be on time though.

It's good. For sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's it for general awards. Now for a top 5. This is very hard, let me assure you. But that's mostly because I aim to please everyone.

Anyways, Bronze - MoonFairy

The crushing pressure
Keeps building up on us both
We should tell the truth.

Silver - Teeheegirl

Everyone watching
Success or failure awaits
Too late to back down

Gold - Parsat

Standing above clouds
The roof of the world conquered
Air too thin to breathe

Platinum - Ernie

Hyperventilate
Seventy breaths per minute
Don't force this on me!

Diamond and the merit winner - FallenSky

Sky crumbles and fall
The cloudless panorama
Is one of no dreams

Congratulations the winners. Of course, as always with me, if anyone has any issues I'll try my best to resolve them. Also counts if you want to know where you placed relative to everyone else or want more in depth criticism. Just message my profile.

New theme is Imperfection, and Ernie will set the deadline.

Enjoy.

Well, it is going to be all here. Now.\r\n\r\n[quote]No I thought you were going to judge it all! I got my hopes up for nothing! D:[/quote]\r\n\r\nThat's one of the reasons I posted it instead of leaving. xD\r\n\r\nAnxiety lulz.\r\n\r\nAnyways. Finish:\r\n\r\n[b]Cheating Award - beastahayes[/b]\r\n\r\nBeads of sweat roll down\r\nI look down at his paper\r\nThe teacher calls me\r\n\r\nI've totally been through that. Other than the getting called out part.\r\n\r\n[b]Stationary Award - Armpit[/b]\r\n\r\nFrom every angle\r\nInvisible walls close in\r\nSo I don't float off\r\n\r\nI sorta got the feeling that the walls were there to keep you stationary. Good. Made me think.\r\n\r\n[b]Innuendo Award - Krizaz[/b]\r\n\r\nIt's always up there\r\nIt's always telling me how\r\nPressure, you suck balls\r\n\r\nThat was perverted for some reason. xD\r\n\r\n[b]Altitude Award - Dudeguy\r\n[/b]\r\nMy ears start to pop\r\nWether it be sea bottom\r\nor acending plane\r\n\r\nThat is most certainly true.\r\n\r\n[b]Hyperventilation Award - Ernie[/b]\r\n\r\nHyperventilate\r\nSeventy breaths per minute\r\nDon't force this on me!\r\n\r\n*claps* Awesome. Very good. Nice flow and vocabulary.\r\n\r\n[b]Measurement Award - aknerd[/b]\r\n\r\nMoles, R, and Kelvin\r\nOver Volume in liters\r\nPressure is simple\r\n\r\nI don't get this one in the slightest beyond some kind of measurement. Now my head hurts.\r\n\r\n[b]Crushing Award - TerryLasVegas[/b]\r\n\r\nIsobars dancing\r\nAs the record is broken\r\nAnd the earth is crushed\r\n\r\nThat would have to be one hell of a pressure storm.\r\n\r\n[b]Fighting Award - FloydTC[/b]\r\n\r\nI feel the pressure\r\nof my fist against your face\r\nyou have a fat head\r\n\r\nI lol'd. Whether I was supposed to, I don't know. But I did.\r\n\r\n[b]Pessimistic Award - MoonFairy[/b]\r\n\r\nThe crushing pressure\r\nKeeps building up on us both\r\nWe should tell the truth.\r\n\r\nQuit being so pessimistic. Makes me sad. D:\r\n\r\nAs for the poem, it's good.\r\n\r\n[b]Over Expecting Award - DrElmer[/b]\r\n\r\nI've been pushed too far\r\nMore is expected of me\r\nThan I can pull off\r\n\r\nThat happens all too often . . . .\r\n\r\n[b]Struggle Award - Teeheegirl[/b]\r\n\r\nEveryone watching\r\nSuccess or failure awaits\r\nToo late to back down\r\n\r\nIt's good, 'nuff said.\r\n\r\n[b]Literal and Figurative Award - Samy[/b]\r\n\r\nDiet coke and mentos\r\nOr society and peers\r\nWhich is your pressure?\r\n\r\nNice. Very well done. I like the comparison between literal and figurative.\r\n\r\n[b]Is there? - XVERB[/b]\r\n\r\nTell me what to do?\r\ndon't pressure me into it!\r\ntheres too much pressure\r\n\r\nYes there is. Lol.\r\n\r\n[b]Conqueror Award - Parsat[/b]\r\n\r\nStanding above clouds\r\nThe roof of the world conquered\r\nAir too thin to breathe\r\n\r\nThis one was very good. Each line. Very good.\r\n\r\n[b]Power Award - FallenSky[/b]\r\n\r\nSky crumbles and fall\r\nThe cloudless panorama\r\nIs one of no dreams\r\n\r\nFor some reason I got the feeling that this one was about positions of power. Hm.\r\n\r\n[b]Concrete Award - thepossum[/b]\r\n\r\nPressure is a beast,\r\nA beast with various forms,\r\nAbstract yet concrete.\r\n\r\nI'll count it this time, only cause I was late and that would sorta make me a hypocrite if I didn't let you because you were late. Try to be on time though.\r\n\r\nIt's good. For sure.\r\n\r\n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\r\n\r\nThat's it for general awards. Now for a top 5. This is very hard, let me assure you. But that's mostly because I aim to please everyone.\r\n\r\nAnyways, [b]Bronze - MoonFairy\r\n[/b]\r\nThe crushing pressure\r\nKeeps building up on us both\r\nWe should tell the truth.\r\n\r\n[b]Silver - Teeheegirl[/b]\r\n\r\nEveryone watching\r\nSuccess or failure awaits\r\nToo late to back down \r\n[b]\r\nGold - Parsat[/b]\r\n\r\nStanding above clouds\r\nThe roof of the world conquered\r\nAir too thin to breathe\r\n\r\n[b]Platinum - Ernie[/b]\r\n\r\nHyperventilate\r\nSeventy breaths per minute\r\nDon't force this on me!\r\n\r\n[b]Diamond and the merit winner - FallenSky[/b]\r\n\r\nSky crumbles and fall\r\nThe cloudless panorama\r\nIs one of no dreams\r\n\r\nCongratulations the winners. Of course, as always with me, if anyone has any issues I'll try my best to resolve them. Also counts if you want to know where you placed relative to everyone else or want more in depth criticism. Just message my profile.\r\n\r\nNew theme is [b]Imperfection[/b], and Ernie will set the deadline.\r\n\r\nEnjoy.

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thepossum

3,035 posts

Nomad

Posted May 4, '10 2:05am UTC

The art I create,
How amazing and awesome,
Oh no 'tis a smudge!

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MoonFairy

3,386 posts

Shepherd

Posted May 4, '10 3:56am UTC

@ thepossum, 'tis a smudge had me almost crying cause I was laughing s hard.

@FallenSky, Congratulations!

My haiku think will be someone OCD.

ERASEITERASEIT

Markings on the sheet.
Are making my eye twitchy.
It must dissapear.

Can't you imagine some neat freak in class staring at a mark on a paper and their eye twitching? XD That was my inspiration ^^

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samy

4,871 posts

Nomad

Posted May 4, '10 6:35pm UTC

Congratz fallen I guess Orion got your symbolisim way bettr than I did; the the hiaku was still fantastic though

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aknerd

1,416 posts

Peasant

Posted May 4, '10 10:45pm UTC

I don't get this one in the slightest beyond some kind of measurement. Now my head hurts.

I just haiku'd the ideal gas law.

Pressure (of a gas) X volume (in liters) = moles (1 mole (n) = 6.022 x 10^23 atoms or molecules) x constant "r" x temperature (in kelvin, which is just centigrade + 273 degrees).

or PV=NRT

or P = (NRT)/V

Now you know.

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FallenSky

1,813 posts

Peasant

Posted May 4, '10 11:40pm UTC

Well I'd like to conngratulate everyone for their fabulous entry.
A big thank you to EnterOrion for giving me a chance, this was my first haiku post on this thread so I was pretty nervous to go against all the usual participants ^^.
I wish you all good luck on the next theme!

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Graham

8,051 posts

Nomad

Posted May 4, '10 11:56pm UTC

No am perFcet i,;
like me I do am yodasS
avants no me good.

or if you'd prefer a deep meaningful phonyness.

Catatonia
Cognitive Cacophony
I cherish my faults.

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EnterOrion

4,220 posts

Nomad

Posted May 4, '10 11:57pm UTC

Pressure (of a gas) X volume (in liters) = moles (1 mole (n) = 6.022 x 10^23 atoms or molecules) x constant "r" x temperature (in kelvin, which is just centigrade + 273 degrees).

Now I get it.

My head hurts from getting it though. D:

I've never heard of that though. So yes, it was very informative.

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FallenSky

1,813 posts

Peasant

Posted May 5, '10 12:06am UTC

Now here's my entry.
-
Surface

The pristine ocean
Home to the keenest of reefs
The boat sank promptly

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dudeguy45

2,917 posts

Peasant

Posted May 5, '10 1:24am UTC

Concrete, smog and death
nirvana, trees and wildlife
But on is perfect

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dudeguy45

2,917 posts

Peasant

Posted May 5, '10 1:25am UTC

I mean but ONE is perfect.

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Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)