This is for all you atheists/agnostics out there that have to tell your religious parents what you are, but are scared to do so. I just did it today, and this is sort of what NOT to do lol.
About 30 minutes before my mom and I were about to go to church I told her that I don't believe in the Catholic religion. Yeah, BIG MISTAKE. If you're going to do this don't do it 30 minutes before you're going to church/temple or whatever you're going to lol.
This will probably be the most painful part of letting go of your religion. When I told my VERY religious mother who isn't very open minded btw, it was horrible. She didn't accept me and said I needed to go to church to "cure" me. I felt betrayed, unloved, sad, angry, unaccepted, and for the first time like a minority. I was really upset and called my dad at work and explained what was happening. He isn't that religious and a hell of a lot more open minded. So telling him was fairly easy, and he even said that it's ok to question my beliefs.
He told me we'd talk about it when he got home, and to just go to church anyway to make my mom happy. So I did.
I had a huge conversation with my parents when I got home, and there was anger, sadness, but at the end acceptance. I finally felt truly enlightened and happy.
Anyways, morale of the story is if you have a parent that is more open minded than the other do one of two things. Tell that parent first OR tell both parents together. If one or both of your parents don't accept you for what you are, and try to force their religion on you then just be patient. They are your parents and you should try to respect them. Eventually you'll move out and won't have to deal with it. Also if you just keep talking to your parents they may start accepting you and stop trying to make you something you're not.
I probably forgot some things but here's a video that I wish I found before this happened, it probably would have helped a lot. Watch it and take its advice, and good luck telling your parents about your freedom of dogmas!
Still have questions? Just ask me and I'll help you how I can.
-ps, MAYBE this can help if you're gay/bisexual as well.
Lieutenut Even though it might not have been the best way to go about it I have to give you loads of credit for telling them, It's a very brave thing to do.
I wish I had the opportunity to do this as well but both my parents have passed away. I could talk to my grandmother who is very heavily into Catholicism but I really don't see much of a point. I suppose if it ever comes up I will. Right now I have only brought it up to my aunt and sort fo hinted at it with her son who are both atheists.
For some history, both my parents came from catholic homes but my dad I think at one point converted to Buddhism then to a sort of sort of odd ball belief I would have to say it was closest to an agnostic view. My grandfather on my moms side had converted to Judaism from Catholicism for a time but converted back later in life.
It was actually some of the last talks I had with my father before he died that made me decide I was an atheist.
He told me what he believed and said don't just listen to him but do my own research decide for myself. Then he asked what I believed and after thinking about it for a few minutes I said I don't know. He just looked at me, smiled and said good answer.
Ohhhhhhhh and you would NEVER defend what you believe in after having it be attacked right?
Hahahahaha. Just like how your parents tried to defend their life long religion when you somewhat attack them with the idea of their only son not in a sense telling them what they believe in is stupid and fallacious? Good job guy, you just cried about how your parents treated you and turned around and did the exact same thing.
....Klaus..............WHERE IS MY ****ING POT?!!!?!!?!?!?!?!?ONE!?!/1/1/11/1!?!?!/1/?!?
It's.... gone. Sorry, I was needy. :3
This was helpful, i am still trying to figure out how to tell my parents i'm agnostic.
Considering you are 15 and don't fully understand the concepts, or yourself for that matter, you shouldn't say anything. Because at your age you really don't know what you want, trust me. Once you hit university you will have the ability to think a lot clearer about who you are and what you believe in. Also telling your parents at 15 is stupid, because they will just get angry because you are a 15 year old making a large life choice with no experience in which you shouldn't be making.
look @ me i smoke pot so edgy
Pot is at the edge, of edginess sir. DON'T DO DRUGS KIDS DEAD SERIOUS THAT SHIT IS BAD FOR YOU. ^I'm being dead serious, like literally no sarcasm here, first time I've ever been serious about something.
Something seems to be screwy with the posts here, at least for me. the last post listed on page 5 for me is form Klaushouse at Posted Sep 12, '09 at 11:09pm
but even my post post dates this but is on page 3 with the latest post to here appearing on page 4?
to everyone saying that I am too young to make this decision myself and didn't research.... actually I did research. I researched A LOT.... Agnosticism is the conclusion I drew from it.
And to Klaus, sorry for swearing like a 12 yr old at you.... your remark just made me a bit mad since this experience I went through was only over for a few hours when you made it.
Klaus, let me get this right ... you're all of 18 years old and you are calling someone who is 14 a child <seriously laughing here>. You DO realize, that on average, there is almost no difference between the emotional and intellectual ability of a 14 and 18 year old. It's only 4 years, it's nothing.
I am way older and can tell you that I stopped believing in the Catholic religion when I was 8. Subsequently, I stopped believing in God. I had theology courses for 12 years of my life because I was forced to go to a private catholic school, which means I was well educated in various religions and beliefs at a very young age. When I was 8, I told my father that it would be hypocritical of me to go to church, he told me that if I could define the word hypocritical to his satisfaction I would not have to go to church anymore ... let's just say, I never had to go to church again. However, enough of that.
Lieutenut, although you may have had bad timing, I don't think it would have mattered. Since your mother is not open to other beliefs but her own, you would have seen that same reaction, no matter when you disclosed the information to her. However, I am glad you told them and now feel free of persecution from her. Believe me, I remember how that felt for me, and, at the time, it felt like total freedom. Good luck.
Quite weird, my post should be on page 5, but for some reason it's on page one, anyone else having that problem in this thread? I have posted on another thread without any problems, is it just random?
Anyhow, I am going to repost it below to see if it will post on the proper page
Klaus, let me get this right ... you're all of 18 years old and you are calling someone who is 14 a child <seriously laughing here>. You DO realize, that on average, there is almost no difference between the emotional and intellectual ability of a 14 and 18 year old. It's only 4 years, it's nothing.
I am way older and can tell you that I stopped believing in the Catholic religion when I was 8. Subsequently, I stopped believing in God. I had theology courses for 12 years of my life because I was forced to go to a private catholic school, which means I was well educated in various religions and beliefs at a very young age. When I was 8, I told my father that it would be hypocritical of me to go to church, he told me that if I could define the word hypocritical to his satisfaction I would not have to go to church anymore ... let's just say, I never had to go to church again. However, enough of that.
Lieutenut, although you may have had bad timing, I don't think it would have mattered. Since your mother is not open to other beliefs but her own, you would have seen that same reaction, no matter when you disclosed the information to her. However, I am glad you told them and now feel free of persecution from her. Believe me, I remember how that felt for me, and, at the time, it felt like total freedom. Good luck.
Quite weird, my post should be on page 5, but for some reason it's on page one, anyone else having that problem in this thread? I have posted on another thread without any problems, is it just random?
ya, this thread has been really laggy and a lot of posts did that on it lol.
Quite weird, my post should be on page 5, but for some reason it's on page one, anyone else having that problem in this thread? I have posted on another thread without any problems, is it just random?
Yes my page 5 posts are on pages 3 and 4 respectively. I have noticed this to a lesser extent in other threads in this section of the forum.
