this i my 1st zombie story so hope you like (not finny yet)
2020,sept 15 z-day
in your house, you look for weapons you see a chair,a tv and a bat you quickly pick it up and swing it wildly into its head >zombie< it falls before you,you pull it out side and slam the door as fast as you can ( by now i think you know whats happening, one word ZOMBIES no one knows how it happened but it did most of the people you and i know are dead or are they? no they are dead but still eating)
you phone 991 and hear screams and moans you look out side and see the dead walking and EATING you know that you will need a better weapon but what can you use? well you got a car with a little gas a bat and you want to kill them,you run to your car bashing zombie heads on your way out the door you push the key in and your car humms to life you slam on the pedle and run over a few of the people you once knew you drive thou the mall window,
There was one bump in it, but I've always deeply HATED the 2nd person view in stories because I find myself doing somethign completely different.
Such as in this situation, first thing I'd do is throw my keys out the window for some other idiot to use my car. Then I'd barricade all entrences and make a makeshift pike out of a broom and a few kitchen knives. When chaos has finally finished (when looting and car crashes had ended) I would set out with designated, barricade-able entrances to the nearest safe zone I can find. My favorite: The grand canyon. If I lived in those cave dwellings life would be hard, but survivable. Picking up survivors on the way of course.
This makes me wanna write haven city again, but no one really liked it.
It's a very unrefined and short story - your grammar is very off. Also, the length is low - I'd call it more of a vignette almost than a short story. 2nd person is used well here too. Due to the grammar (which is honestly facepalm-worthy, lol) I can't really grade the flow of the piece. Still, it's above-average - it uses 2nd person better than usual, and somewhat conveys a sense of desperation to the reader.
There really isn't a plot to it, or character development, or even characters - which is why this'd be a vignette and not an actual short story.
Not to burst any bubble you may have, but this really isn't a lot of writing for one day. OLO
Overall, this isn't bad. I was surprised overall. However, your branding of it is off and your grammar is a thing most foul. Lol.
lol sorry for my grammer (my lap top is kinda messed up) n how wuld you gt to he grand canyon wth out a car? lol
......
OH.
GOD.
Next time on this forum, mind speaking english? XD. Sorry.
So anyway, I write most things like this in about 20 minutes :P Maybe more for longer segments.
also, this is seriously lacking in detail. What are the zombis doing while I'm whacking their heads? What do they look like? What's my enviornment like? What's happenening outside?
=you run to your car bashing zombie heads on your way out the door you push the key in and your car humms to life
i would say =bashing zombie heads,i broke into a sprint as i made my way to my <ut car name here>,opening the door,i jammed the key into the keyhole and started ignition
in your house, you look for weapons you see a chair,a tv and a bat you quickly pick it up and swing it wildly into its head >zombie< it falls before you,you pull it out side and slam the door as fast as you can ( by now i think you know whats happening, one word ZOMBIES no one knows how it happened but it did most of the people you and i know are dead or are they? no they are dead but still eating)
you phone 991 and hear screams and moans you look out side and see the dead walking and EATING you know that you will need a better weapon but what can you use? well you got a car with a little gas a bat and you want to kill them,you run to your car bashing zombie heads on your way out the door you push the key in and your car humms to life you slam on the pedle and run over a few of the people you once knew you drive thou the mall window, and drive runing over the dead you pull over at daves gs (gun shop) as you open the door you see that dave is dead well not really hes a zombie. as it walks aimlessly towords you you take the bat and smash it in the its head again and again until it stops moving once you killed him you then see the goodys you see a shot gun with about fifty shells not nearly enough to last for long and next to it you see a pistol, a 20 cal its weaker then the shot gun but it has 145 shells as you look over the counter you see what dave used to try to fight of the undead......a elephant gun strong enough to shoot thou lead and over 200 shells so you take it and the pistol and stick it in you belt just as your turning you see three of.....them in the door way you see this as a time to test out the elephant gun you fire aiming at the head not having much pratice you miss and hit it in the arm but amazingly the zombies arm is almost torn off form that one shot this time you aim mo0re carfully at the same one perfect shot! right in its head you see its brains fly out you quickly kill the others you see more coming not wanting to waste your ammo you try to make a barracade useing some chairs form the shop next to you (chairs-r-us) and try to make a wall not to hard because you only have to block the doors you kill about 5 or 6 more zombies until you know that your gona need food so you take two pistols with lots of ammo and your bat but before you leave you think that the bat isnt gona do much damage theres not that many meele weapons in the gun shop but your see some nails and know thats gona have to do you hammer them in to the bat makeing sure the nails point out the side and you smash the barracade know your not gona need it the first zombie comes at you your bash its head with your nail-bat but its stuck in the side of its head,not wanting to risk geting biten your leave it behind and just shoot the rest you see about 10 of.....them at the end of the mall and you also see the food court luckly the zombies and not in the way.
how to live thou z-day
ok lets say you are not a zombie yet most of the people in your town/city are trying to eat you. you wana try to find a safe spot away from the town/city you are in, if u cant, get into a building with not that many door and lots of food and weapons like ammo,guns and any object that can cut of a zombies head or smash the zombies head in an axe or maybe some sort of club like object will work best.
once u find a good place to live in try to find some people that are not zombies yet and get them to help you kill zombies and find food,water,and guns once you got all that kill all the zombies that come near you try not to be loud. you dont want more zombies to try to kill you,try to make some traps not that hard go to the roof of the house your at and put some thing heavy there like a tv and any thing u cant use or dont need and when a zombie group comes near push the tv on top of them,dont forget you can use things in the zombies pockets bu make sure there really dead.
if your lucky the army will come and kill all the zombies if not you have to do it your slef put some armour on not heavy stuff you want to have light but stong stuff on you like leather if u can find some a bus or some cars and try to run over all of them use some guns NO chain saws you will kill or hurt youslf nothing that makes a big boom just guns and mabye some sharp things an both sides of the bus/cars to help kill the zombie hordes
you have killed all the zombies in town cograts your not done yet u should have a groups of bout 10-25 people you need to burn the zombies or you might wake up with a zombie nawing on your head once you do that get in to at least 5 buildings and set up some traps get any cars you can find as many guns,ammo,food and water if zombies come from other towns/citys drop stuff from a high point like out of a window on top of the zombies head board up the doors and low windows you should live for now......
heres another guide ok lets say its z-day
zombies type is slow zombies,
and you are not bit yet most of the people in you town are alive try to get as many people together to help kill the incoming zombies you may wana build a wall or some kind around the town your in you should use cars with no gas,dead zombies but make sure there dead and some rocks if you can find any once you got that, you need to find weapons,water,food and gas also you should board up the windows and add some things to weak walls if you got any cement add that to windows and some walls warning use zombies dead bodies ONLY on the out side of you house or on the city wall or your house will stink and a zombie may naw on you.
ok now the zombies are coming to eat you, get all the weapons you got and shoot like crazy there gona be a slow and long fight if they get close to a building go to its roof and drop a tv on them or drop a can of gas on them and light the fire make sure you are not near them if you do that do not use chain saws or flam thowers they need gas and your useing it (hopefuly you got a gas pump in your town) use some cars to help kill them all try to add some simple weapons like sharp things on the side spikes on the front and people with guns in it.
you have killed all of them in your town congratz, but now your runing out of food,water,gas and working cars you should send a raiding party to the next town not evey one but a bout 5 to 10 people all with guns and in some cars or a bus if they make it back with gas,water,food and say its safe over there you may wana mover over there for its food and etc
once your there just repeat and hope you live.....
Am I the only one left? That question drills at me day after day as I walk through lifeless streets in my hazmat suit, searching for hope. A new strain of influenza started, spread by birds, and killed thousands within the first day. Many hid from the virus in underground emergency zones, but that was a huge fiasco. In just days the hundreds of people that were cooped up in those zones were dead, no one realized that just a globule of the infection could wipe out an entire city. Many froze themselves in an attempt to be resurrected later on when the infection passed. The few that were immune used up all available food and water sources and became savages, fighting over what remained with impropriety⦠I was walking through the streets today searching for survivors when I came upon a house, it seemed normal enough, so I walk over and kick in the door. My ears meet a blood curdling scream. I look around, a single speck of hope flashes through me as Iâm studying my surroundings looking at every detail. Lined all over the walls are flamboyant festoons, and pictures of indolent fat ancestors untouched by time, but as I look down what appears before my eyes is a nightmare. What looks like a human, except it has long finger nails the size of knives that are pitch black, and skin as if it was compared to a blank sheet of paper. This thing also has gossamer tumors the size of baseballs all over its body, and they were moving throughout its body as if they were living things. As Iâm staring with awe as if the entire world is gyrating around me, I think that maybe the entire world hasnât been expunged, maybe this place can live in halcyon again. Maybe we can cure it. Maybe⦠Just then one of the tumors pops and the creature is turned toward me, very soon all the tumors pop and what comes out of them is pure horror, tentacles with spikes on them ten maybe twenty feet long and extending. As I turn and run one lashes out at me and whips me back in the house knocking off my helmet exposing me to the outside world. One of the tentacles is forced down my throat going deeper and deeper. I reach for my knife and slice off the tentacle leaving the creature stunned long enough for me to get free. I look around for weapons, noting seems to be around, but then I spot a can of hairspray open it and douse the monstrous form of a human then lighting it on fire engulfing it in flames. As I escaped from the building I ran back to my campout in a local church and start fixing up my neck torn and bloody from the tentacle, but then a single thought flashes through me, suicide. I pull a gun out of a slot in the wall and put it in my mouth, hands shaking heavily breath speeding up rapidly I shootâ¦
Am I the only one left? That question drills at me day after day as I walk through lifeless streets in my hazmat suit, searching for hope. A new strain of influenza started, spread by birds, and killed thousands within the first day. Many hid from the virus in underground emergency zones, but that was a huge fiasco. In just days the hundreds of people that were cooped up in those zones were dead, no one realized that just a globule of the infection could wipe out an entire city. Many froze themselves in an attempt to be resurrected later on when the infection passed. The few that were immune used up all available food and water sources and became savages, fighting over what remained with impropriety. I was walking through the streets today searching for survivors when I came upon a house, it seemed normal enough, so I walk over and kick in the door. My ears meet a blood curdling scream. I look around, a single speck of hope flashes through me as I am studying my surroundings looking at every detail. Lined all over the walls are flamboyant festoons, and pictures of indolent fat ancestors untouched by time, but as I look down what appears before my eyes is a nightmare. What looks like a human, except it has long finger nails the size of knives that are pitch black, and skin as if it was compared to a blank sheet of paper. This thing also has gossamer tumors the size of baseballs all over its body, and they were moving throughout its body as if they were living things. As I am staring with awe as if the entire world is gyrating around me, I think that maybe the entire world has not been expunged, maybe this place can live in halcyon again. Maybe we can cure it. Mayby. Just then one of the tumors pops and the creature is turned toward me, very soon all the tumors pop and what comes out of them is pure horror, tentacles with spikes on them ten maybe twenty feet long and extending. As I turn and run one lashes out at me and whips me back in the house knocking off my helmet exposing me to the outside world. One of the tentacles is forced down my throat going deeper and deeper. I reach for my knife and slice off the tentacle leaving the creature stunned long enough for me to get free. I look around for weapons, noting seems to be around, but then I spot a can of hairspray open it and douse the monstrous form of a human then lighting it on fire engulfing it in flames. As I escaped from the building I ran back to my campout in a local church and start fixing up my neck torn and bloody from the tentacle, but then a single thought flashes through me, suicide. I pull a gun out of a slot in the wall and put it in my mouth, hands shaking heavily breath speeding up rapidly I shoot.
