Forums → The Tavern → More Chuck Norris Jokes

cuz its locked, so nobody can make anymore replies

There's a reason for that. Threads don't get locked for no reason.

Here's something that isn't a joke: Chuck Norris is way to overrated.

Check the Wiki, buddy.

Orion, fighting trolls make trolls.
Anyway, deleted because of the.. yeah.

There's a reason for that. Threads don't get locked for no reason.

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable, his enemies never go because they don't have any teeth.

Every fourteen seconds, 58.8 babies are born.
Every fourteen seconds, 23.8 people die.
Every fourteen seconds, 74.6 roundhouse kicks are delivered.

All of these things are made true by Chuck Norris' ways.

That is a one I made up.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed because one building can't hold that much awesome.

God created gravity, Chuck Norris defies gravity

When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesnt go down and up he pushes the world down.

Chuck Norris punched a parrot.

That's my joke.

ââChuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

thoose are my favorite i have a lot more.

i posted all of these jokes before the other chuck thread was locked.

here are some chuck norris jokes from a book i got for christmas.
when an episode of walker,texas ranger aired in france,the frence surrendered to chuck norris to be on the safe side.
chuck norris is strong enough to punch through steel,yet delicate enough to cradle a newborn to sleep.
chuck norris can fit five billard balls in his mouth.
chuck norris eats pencils and markers for breakfast and s hits out masterpieces.
chuck norris once shot down a german plane down with his finger by pointing at it and yelling,bang
chuck norriswas the first person to tame a dinosuar.
chuck norris's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because chuck norris does not take s hit from anyone.
chuck norris's heart beats once a week.
chuck norris would hit that.
chuck norris just pissed your pants.
chuck norris only lives by one rule:no asian chicks.
when chuck norris was denied a MCgriddle at MCdonaldsbecause it was 10:35,he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it bacame a wendy's.
chuck norris invented babies because he got tired of eating the same old thing.
chuck norris can make the kessel run in less than ten parsecs.
chuck norris doesn't believe in germany.
for chuck norris,pimping is easy.
chuck norris makes onions cry.
chuck norris eats coal and s hits diamonds.
chuck norris f ucked your wife while you were out of town on a buisiness trip.tough s hit.
thats only a few chuck norris jokes i got.i have about four hundred more.i tell the in a couple of days

If you have a dollar, and Chuck Norris has a dollar, Chuck has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck's computer. He is always in control.
Chuck Norris is sueing myspace for stealing the name of what he calls everything around you.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris'd

I'll try to think of more.

you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norrisâ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnât lifting himself up, heâs pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norrisâ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesnât wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship

Here are some of my favorite ones that I know:

At first there was nothing,then Chuck Norris roundhoused that nothing in the face and said ''get a job''!

When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds,he puts guns to shame.

Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity,he got it back.