So, I had gotten up this morning, as usual, when I see someone just outside my front window. I'm not too worried, I just think my carpool ride is here early. But I notice what an unusual shape the silhouette has. It seemed to have a long, pointy hat.
But that wasn't the case. I open up the blinds, and imagine my surprise when it's none other than Trix the Rabbit!
So he starts jumping around, real crazy-like, muttering about Trix. And I think, "hell, that poor rabbit never gets any cereal. How much could a rabbit possibly eat?" I think.
I poor him a little bowl, real small, bring it to him, and hand it out to him. But instead of taking the bowl that I poured out of the kindness and purity of my heart, he reaches around me and takes my WHOLE FREAKING BOX OF CEREAL out of my hand and just runs. I'm freaking out, that's my favorite **** cereal in the world, and there was still a prize inside. I needed that cereal box.
So here I was, chasing after a rabbit to get MY cereal back, and I realize, I canât grab a rabbit, those things are slippery. Then I picked up a shovel, really big, really heavy shovel. That was a tad too heavy though, so instead I got a garden rake and began chasing after him with that.
But that rabbit was really, really fast. I couldn't keep up, but, just my luck; he trips and hits his head. He's still conscious, but in a daze. Just as I catch up to him, he starts getting up and scrambling around, yadda yadda, so I have no choice but to hit him with my rake. I probably hit him, oh, 14 or 15 times, pretty hard. By this point, he's not conscious at all, but hey, he still has my cereal, so that's fine, I leave the rake there, take the Trix and head off on my merry, cereal-filled way.
Though, as I'm walking off and I don't hear him getting up or breathing or anything, I get worried, and I turn around to find that there's blood EVERYWHERE. The rake is just splattered with it, it's a mess. That silly rabbit isn't just out cold, he's dead. I killed the rabbit.
So right now the body is in my garage, and I need a good, solid place to hide it. Any suggestions?
Ok, here's what you should do. first, what you need to do is but on all black clothes and take him to a secluded area. next you need to do your best to make it look like a terrible gardening accident. now, you need to remove every trace of yourself from the body, and from any tools used in the murder. once you've done that, go back home, and make sure no one sees you. now when you're back home you need to clean up all of the blood, and incinerate the clothes you were wearing. make sure there is no trace of the rabbit ever being in your house. not a hair, not anything. you should be fine after this.
No body, no kill, right? Stick him in a vat of sulfuric acid, highly concentrated. It will dissolve him. If there are any bones, bury them in they park.
No body, no kill, right? Stick him in a vat of sulfuric acid, highly concentrated. It will dissolve him. If there are any bones, bury them in they park.
and how are you gonna explain the vat of sulfuric acid in your house. also, where are you gonna get the sulfuric acid, or the vat for that matter? it's just too suspicious.
and how are you gonna explain the vat of sulfuric acid in your house. also, where are you gonna get the sulfuric acid, or the vat for that matter? it's just too suspicious.
Whoever said it was in your house?
Put it in a tank a couple miles away.
You only need 10 gallons to be able to dissolve something that size. It wouldn't be suspicious, as you can readily buy many types of acid, not just sulfuric.
You could also freeze him and shatter him to a million pieces.
Ok, here's what you should do. first, what you need to do is but on all black clothes and take him to a secluded area. next you need to do your best to make it look like a terrible gardening accident. now, you need to remove every trace of yourself from the body, and from any tools used in the murder. once you've done that, go back home, and make sure no one sees you. now when you're back home you need to clean up all of the blood, and incinerate the clothes you were wearing. make sure there is no trace of the rabbit ever being in your house. not a hair, not anything. you should be fine after this.
Okay, the wolf who's always wanting that damn cereal that tastes nothing like a cookie just knocked on my door, and wanted to know where the rabbit was.
So I accidentally killed him with a shovel.
By accident.
I destroyed the murder weapons, but I'm having trouble finding either sulfuric acid or liquid nitrogen.
So I think I'll just try chaining their legs to a boulder and throwing them in the ocean. kthx.
