So, I had gotten up this morning, as usual, when I see someone just outside my front window. I'm not too worried, I just think my carpool ride is here early. But I notice what an unusual shape the silhouette has. It seemed to have a long, pointy hat.
But that wasn't the case. I open up the blinds, and imagine my surprise when it's none other than Trix the Rabbit!
So he starts jumping around, real crazy-like, muttering about Trix. And I think, "hell, that poor rabbit never gets any cereal. How much could a rabbit possibly eat?" I think.
I poor him a little bowl, real small, bring it to him, and hand it out to him. But instead of taking the bowl that I poured out of the kindness and purity of my heart, he reaches around me and takes my WHOLE FREAKING BOX OF CEREAL out of my hand and just runs. I'm freaking out, that's my favorite **** cereal in the world, and there was still a prize inside. I needed that cereal box.
So here I was, chasing after a rabbit to get MY cereal back, and I realize, I canât grab a rabbit, those things are slippery. Then I picked up a shovel, really big, really heavy shovel. That was a tad too heavy though, so instead I got a garden rake and began chasing after him with that.
But that rabbit was really, really fast. I couldn't keep up, but, just my luck; he trips and hits his head. He's still conscious, but in a daze. Just as I catch up to him, he starts getting up and scrambling around, yadda yadda, so I have no choice but to hit him with my rake. I probably hit him, oh, 14 or 15 times, pretty hard. By this point, he's not conscious at all, but hey, he still has my cereal, so that's fine, I leave the rake there, take the Trix and head off on my merry, cereal-filled way.
Though, as I'm walking off and I don't hear him getting up or breathing or anything, I get worried, and I turn around to find that there's blood EVERYWHERE. The rake is just splattered with it, it's a mess. That silly rabbit isn't just out cold, he's dead. I killed the rabbit.
So right now the body is in my garage, and I need a good, solid place to hide it. Any suggestions?
Yeah, and remember all the paperwork I had to fill out that night? And the court date I have next month? And the fact that I'm under house arrest? Jesus, if I knew leprechauns were an endangered species I never would have flown us to that school yard.
Maybe you could put him under a tree or in a cementary, nobody thinks of looking there.
Really a rabbit, well thats better than what Shaggy and Scooby did in front of my house. Couldn't sleep all night, kept hering "Hey Scob, try this" Followed by a "scooby Dobbie Doo!". I liked it better when they spent the day smoking in front of my house.
Yeah, and remember all the paperwork I had to fill out that night? And the court date I have next month? And the fact that I'm under house arrest? Jesus, if I knew leprechauns were an endangered species I never would have flown us to that school yard.
oh yeah, I forgot about that. it's a good thing my mom called and made me go home early.
