Forums → WEPR → The NEW parents

my parents used to be really careful with me about going on the internet but now they are not. even my 8 year old brother can do what he wants on the computer

I think some parents have seen the way things are going with all of the outside influences (media, etc.), and how reactionary parenting is unhealthy, and because of these observations are starting to revert to old-school parenting. I know some young parents who are real laissez faire about their kids, and they seem pretty normal to me...

ya, the world is really no worse than it has ever been, its just we have media to cover everything, and so parents hear everything and go crazy, when in reality its just humans being humans

Although i feel for them, We got a note in school saying that some guy offered 2 kids a "fruit snack" (seriously, who wants a fruit snack?) But they just ran away

well i can understand parents wanting kids to get away from random people they don't know, but sometimes they take it too far

That's quite insightful, daswiftarrow. As Asherlee pointed out earlier, we are subject to a lot of reporting bias i.e. what is reported, we take notice of the most, and so we think that it happens the most.

It really is about proportions as opposed to paranoia- on one hand there are real risks, on the other their incidence seems to be overinflated. I think the main problem is that the new generations are developing and behaving in ways that are more unfamiliar to parents than ever before.

In this way it's possible to say that the internet is the creator of the biggest generation gap yet. Personally speaking, I know how this works well too. I'm probably nearly if not twice as old as most of you, and my mother still thinks that internet predators are out to get me. Because it's a world she doesn't understand, so she is naturally quite afraid of it.

I dont know what its like in the US but i had my cousin over here from the US the other day and shes UK but lives in US and she was laughing when i was drinking beer because people my age just wouldn't do that in the US and she took a pic of me downing beer and holding wine in the other, but if kids are kept inside and sheltered then they could get stabbed when they are older because they wouldnt know how to handle a situation with gangsters or chavs or whatever, and you should start learning from an early age when you are more likely just to get punched in the face than stabbed and raped

I totally agree with daswiftarrow and strop there are two types of threats real and perevied and it seems like the media are inflating the percevied threat way above the real threats.

Let me say as a parent of a 14 year old, it's very hard to let go. I feel its my job to protect him...as grown up as you think you are, there are things that children are not capable of handling. You guys watch the same media we do...which seems to glorify very harmful and adult things and situations. Your parents love you and don't want bad things to happen to you. Imagine if your beloved pet was kidnapped or ran over by a car...think how heartbroken you would be. Now imagine that heartbreak times a million if it was your child...
I can't speak for your parents, but I imagine it's the same for them. If they didn't love you, they wouldn't care...wouldn't set rules and boundaries...
As you mature, things will change. Just remember that your parents have already experienced everything you are going through. They can save you countless tears and pain with their experienced advice. I remember thinking the same thing about my parents when I was a teen...turns out they were right all along!
Most of us do not learn from others experiences though, and that is frustrating to parents. We really just want whats best for our children...
As you get beat up in the school of life, more and more you will realize the lessons your parents tried to save you from.

Wally, as a parent, can you see that parents now-a-days are lot more strict than they were before?

I like the points being brought up from other countries. My family is from Spain and I've lived off and on in parts of Europe my entire life. Things are just different. The laws are not so strict (for example the drinking age). But this is going to jump start me into a war over Europe vs. America. I mean I appreciate where I live and enjoy all the conveniences that come with America, but I enjoy Spain and other parts of Europe much more.

I don't think parents are stricter now than when I was growing up. I mean, you get grounded to your room with your cell phone, computer,tv...try growing up with corporal punishment. We used to get paddled in school. There were a lot less problems in schools back then...kids today don't respect their elders. Its because we don't make them.
Drinking is not something kids should be doing period. I agree that its a double standard to be able to join the army and vote, but not be able to drink. Theres a big difference between 16 and 18 though.
Everyone wants to grow up and do adult things really quick...then you become an adult and long for the days of rent free bliss!
Enjoy being a kid! When its over, you can never have it back.

I cant stand the "Umbrella Parents" of the new generation... and I thought my parents were bad! I have to deal with them at work all the time (I am a manager, I work with a lot of 14-16 year olds). If their schedule is messed up, or they want to quit, or even silly things like if they need a day off, the parent comes in to deal with it. If youre old enough for a job, youre old enough to fight your own battles, and deal with your own schedule. So many parents call to quit for their children, or come in to yell at the owner for something their child did wrong.... its rediculous. Its one thing to be cautious and another thing altogether to be overbearing. At least it gives me something to want not to be when I become a parent.

hey i'm a kid but you cant enjoy being a kid if your not allowed to do anything i love being a kid because i'm allowed to roam free

Hmm...I don't know, you know. I'd be curious to see if there were some standards or measurable outcomes to see how "strict" parents are.

Okay, that's a hugely impractical idea but in terms of comparisons, I think the only meaningful way we can talk about it is to appreciate the different contexts in which parents operate these days. As I said before, the scope of our behaviors has expanded exponentially recently. I suspect parents have less idea than ever how to deal with these things.

In this way, it is difficult to define what are "real risks" as opposed to &quoterceived risks".

If parents have less idea of what they are doing now than ever before are parenting classes for future parents in order?

In an age where we can dedicate reality tv shows to parents who have no idea what to do is it time to say maybe we should be teaching all new parents the basics