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Vol. 1, Issue 1
Parsat's note: First line poetry has proven more interesting to read than I thought. It's interesting to see what spontaneous thoughts arise...in choosing poetry for this digest I don't look so intently at form as many of you are accustomed to me doing. Rather, I chose poems I thought displayed a real germ of thought and feeling. Included as always is a little critique; after all, I expect to give away something more substantial than bragging rights.
I mean no disrespect by reposting your poem here; I do it in the same regard in the same way that poems are reposted in a contest judging. I acknowledge that your poetry is your intellectual property. As no one objected to me making a digest, I have assumed that by posting in the thread you allow me to compile your poem if I see fit.
If it seems a few poets are mentioned more than others, consider that it was because they wrote more. If the poem's good, it goes here; I'm not a fan on putting caps on people's participation.
Poems:
Moonfairy
The mournful winter releases life
From its duty for a season,
Some view it as death,
But I view it as with a reason.
An excellent take on a great line by EnterOrion. There's a refreshing open-endedness in that last line that I really enjoy. Rather than insisting on explaining the paradoxical first line, it simply leaves one with the thought and then nothing else.
thisisnotanalt
hoping against a ninja here,
my motives and chances still unclear.
will I survive, and live in calm?
or be crushed by my fate as a ticking time bomb?
hoping against a ninja here,
it's coming down to my worst fear.
grab for the problem, try and try
but when you lose, don't sit and cry.
Fail line selection turned out win poem. Somehow it reminded me of the Ninja Kami point and click game. Good rhyme, and a freestyle flow to boot, something that's hard to do but is unmistakably alt.
pHacon
The tile reflected what I knew
For all I knew, trouble would brew.
Seeing myself, that aged reflection,
I realized what it was to find perfection.
I laughed after reading those last two lines: They flowed quite well for a first line, and it's a good spin on the old "Too smart for your own good".
aknerd
Would we put the weapon down?
And bow before the traitor's Crown?
Or raise our shield and brandish our sword
A new army for the true lord?
If only the choice was ours
And not left to the hateful stars.
For all our pride had long been drown
And so we lay the weapon down.
A polished poem (excepting the grammar error in the second to last line)...I'm still trying to figure out what belief this poem is espousing. Theism? Deism? Atheism? All these elements seem to be mixed until the last two lines.
Moonfairy
But why me?
I have always asked myself
What crime did I commit,
That would make me deserve this?
I was always true
To you
And then you left me out of the blue
Tears ran down my face
My heart was ripped in two
So here I am wondering
What Did I Do Wrong?
Trying to figure out
Why my life
Is a heart break song.
Simply worded, and using a cliche or two, but that last stanza really hits to the heart of anyone who's had their heart broken. That second-to-last short line in particular really builds up to that last line.
pHacon
Fields of Green
Stretching on forever
Like the joy of my heart,
They sing.
Skies of Blue
So high yet so deep
Where do you lead?
To happiness.
I picture Louis Armstrong's grovelly voice belting out "What a Wonderful World" while reading this poem. The ends of each stanza are especially comforting. Is it their length or their directness that make it so?
Avorne
Days passed
Under the sun
Your smooth touch
Upon my skin
Years passed
In the rain
I no longer
Feel your touch
Each line in each stanza is the complete opposite of each other. It only makes it all the more striking.
MoonFairy
Atop a cliff
I wonder
Staring down into the water
What it would feel like,
Those few seconds of free falling
Fear?
Adrenaline?
Terror?
Thrill?
I might just take the jump
To find out.
That finality in those last lines really does convey the feel of the jump...in those words, I think, all four of those emotions appear. Very well writ.
aknerd
As the bird chirps
Millions are massacred
As the wolf howls
Billions are born
As the Whale sings
Multitudes will mourn
As the Eagle shrieks
Legions will laugh
But as a baby cries
None will notice
As Silence falls
All will arise
Humanity is Always
Last to listen
Our voice obscured
Our ears extinguished
In Scandinavian and Old English poetry, the predominant style of poetry was actually alliterative...and this poem certainly has that feel. I've fixed a spelling error or two, but that last stanza is chilling.
pHacon
Starry skies,
The beauty of the cosmos.
How does it feel
To look back in time?
Short poem is short, but short poem is big too.
slayguy8
It was the slow death of a million papercuts
the next one hurt more than the last
the feeling of slowly bleeding out
you didnt picture this to end this way
all because of a million papercuts
A poem about death by a million papercuts...I simply marvel at how grave and how flippant this poem is at the same time. I know that's not a skill I have.
Gantic
Help us escape
Cardboard prisons
We've grown too big
Please help, children
Before I continue, for all you AG poets that have just joined us, Gantic is probably the most versatile poet around these parts. Go consult him for what is good poetry. As for this poem, it reminded me of Calvin and Hobbes when they use corrugated cardboard boxes as tools of imagination...what do we do when we lose it though?
CommanderDude7
I glimpsed a burst of happiness
As my oppenent thought he had victory
I glanced at my cards
And wondered what he had
Whatever it was
Could it beat a full house?
A good twist to pull on a good line. An excellent rendition of putting thoughts into words.
----
Thanks for reading! Comments, questions, suggestions all welcome in this thread.
- 89 Replies
Huh, I'm surprised that so many of mine got in there, especially in the first part.
I picture Louis Armstrong's grovelly voice belting out "What a Wonderful World" while reading this poem. The ends of each stanza are especially comforting. Is it their length or their directness that make it so?
Is it not the length that makes them direct?
Now that song is stuck in my head... It's actually still quite good after the fourth or fifth go-around.
Short poem is short, but short poem is big too.
Which is why I love poetry more than literature; impact and content are not as constricted by length. I've read a quite a few good short stories, but it seems those are the exception that proves the rule.
like i told you people lost intrest so write every 3-5 pages
For me, there are simply some first lines where I can't think of anything at first, and by the time I do, there's a new first line to write on.
I get to write more, so it's not a complete loss, as I enjoy it, but it does feel as if I waste a little of my time every so often.
Volume 1, Issue 3
Disclaimer: I repost poetry in the same regard as a poem would be reposted in a contest judging. I acknowledge that your poetry is your own intellectual property. As no one objected to me making a digest, I have assumed that by posting in the thread you allow me to compile your poem if I see fit. If you hold objection with me reposting your poetry, please contact me in my comments. Thank you.
Poems:
Kyouzou
Do geese see god?
As they climb into
The vaulted heavens
Do geese meet god?
As they wheel about
The clouds above
Do geese touch god?
As they soar through
The azure skies
The structure and the reading feels like a haiku, though it is not. Props too for aknerd for submitting this unique palindromic first line.
Nurvana
Frozen like a sculpture
Face wreathed in agony
White and cold
Dusty and alone
Dead
The main strength of this poem is its brusque nature. It pulls no punches, describing death in a way that does not seek to be romanticized or bloodied.
OperationNilo
While I'm dancing in the moonlight,
I see birds take flight,
South, South, always South,
Their white feathers shine in the night.
Tonight I dance with pleasure,
while the white birds fly,
South, as always South,
farewell white birds,goodbye.
Now fly before winter catches up,
you must fly faster than the seasons,
South, to a warmer place,
the birds fly away with grace.
See you again, when the flowers grow,
when trees regain their leaves,
when birds sing among the nature,
we will be there.
This poem, while not the most polished, was excellent at imparting an strong image and a strong message. I especially liked that line: "You must fly faster than the seasons."
Kyouzou
It is raining out
Lightning flashes
The wind howls
Thunder echoes
Rain hammers the ground
Pouring from the skies
Ominous clouds rolling
Nature's fury unleashed
I like the terseness of this poem, how it manages to convey the meaning through heavy, descriptive words. Though the words may not be the most original (certainly we've seen a few of them multiple times), I think they provide a good view of the sponteneity that is in FLP.
MoonFairy
The comfort of the darkness,
As it wraps itself around me.
Like a blanket,
Only it is everywhere, surrounding.
It is where I can relax,
Where I can feel peace.
I can throw off some troubles,
Of the real world at least.
Reading this poem made me think of all of the different types of darkness it could be referring to: sleep, or death, or even just a daydream. It is whatever helps us escape from that "real world."
Gantic
The Poem
Where no man shall walk,
When Autumn comes and Summer goes,
I know only one I can trust.
When flowers regain their colors,
He just stands there.
The silence of the meadow,
The comfort of the darkness,
When will the pain stop and let death come in
When darkness surrounds me?
I like waffles.
Nature's fury unleashed,
It is raining out.
When the knight takes his sword,
Rouse thy self!
But there is hope...
as the dog sleeps.
While I'm dancing in the moonlght,
The fire dances in the breeze,
Every heart is pure,
Biased views are mine.
I did not mean the things I said.
Such a fleeting moment,
the closed boxes.
Sousa, Joplin, Ives and Copland
At the old apple tree.
I forgot;
Everbody knows it.
As the tiger runs
the tears in my eyes.
Why did you save me?
As the wind blows,
The fish flipped for joy,
The waves wash in.
My joy is gone.
The fear will stop.
Everytime I look at you,
Help me!
Frozen like a sculpture,
Confidence.
Do geese see God?
Time and again,
A new day shines brightly.
Bring it back;
I wasn't done!
The moon shines brightly.
When I woke up and I saw myself
Sitting by myself on a windy day.
"Fire it up!
You have the power."
Because we have to say goodbye
The rain falls down slowly;
It can't be the first time.
How long has it been?
Have you been where I have been?
I feel free.
Life behind a window,
The ruins of a golden age long gone,
Suffocating
As I sit on the hill.
What shall we do
As I sit in the shadows?
No greater love is this.
How many times
Did I ever tell you?
The lake is as still as glass.
I had waffles for breakfast
The thing hit me
Burning with rage.
Ours is a drill to pierce the heavens.
The devil's hands hold up all the cards,
The annoyance!
No greater band of brothers have I met.
Strange life.
I glued soft feathers to my arms.
Spring has come again.
I lie down for a long time;
Our houses will be painted black.
I turn my camera on
down the lonesome trail,
Left me with Questions.
I fell in love because of her vouchsafe smile.
I love the smell of asphalt in the rain,
A singing bird,
A growing life.
Day's glory has come!
A luminous night!
"How long has it been?"
the girl screamed.
"Into the mists of time,
there is a land
that was random."
I suppose.
"I have a single dollar."
"Ugh, bad one."
"Ha. I get it."
When I was a kid in my life,
When I wake up in the morning,
"Hello, cruel world,
Is that a UFO?"
Right lane must turn right
Inside a moving palace.
As the tide rose,
Remind me of memory,
A solemn wish
Forever falling
In the evening sky.
What happens to a dream that's died?
Entreating crickets harmonized and crooned
Under a salt moon.
A gritty sand beneath my feet,
Green as the Spring's new grass,
Burned in your lies.
I looked into the wishing well.
Every memory holds a secret.
The dew upon morning grass
Wash the blood off your hands.
What will your fate be?
Digging a grave is hard.
Save him!
The river flows.
The ticking of the clock.
Lay a flower.
Passing the time
Staring into the night,
It is myself.
But I never did.
What you see is not me - I have died
Living in endless suspense.
I thought these days would last forever.
It's a bloody business.
The grot is expanding.
You feed me the same line everytime:
XD lmfao
Is it worth fighting for?
Summer's day is both short and long,
The distant sea of green,
The uncut block.
The rain poured down.
I always lied to you.
What a sausagefest...
the archetype of a human.
I somersault into the waves,
A sickening smell,
Air so crisp and water so clear.
The confusing power of love
The fish swam happily.
I glimpsed a burst of happiness.
Climbing up the ladder
I wake to the dawn,
Dark mornings, light nights.
The star shines alone,
Petals falling from a wilting flower
As the sun sets. It is a picture perfect moment.
It was the happiest time of his life
Old Macdonel had a sl*t
Amid the wonders and tears I smile.
A leafless branch.
I did not know your name when we first met.
"Help us escape!
"How do I get out of here?
"Are you sure?"
HEY SHAMALAMA DING DONG
I wake to the sunlight!
Why me?
What I do for you,
Starry skies,
Many a sleepless night, I found
The sky of grand azure.
What is this thing?
The warrior stood alone.
(Hey thats my pizza!)
It was the slow death of a million papercuts
What element do I find my desire?
He burned the flower with malice
Today
The sun blazes in the sky
As far as I can see.
quiet goes the fox.
The last can was empty.
As the bird chirps
Just gonna stand there
Atop a cliff.
Days passed
Free as a bird.
The ocean is a place
My heart sings
Fields of Green
But why me?
Petty little thief!
Blood drips.
Conflicts in the mind.
Such is the price of progress!
Haven't seen you in three years.
Come, come away...
How he hated the trees!
Would we put the weapon down?
What is this now?
The tile reflected what I knew,
as spring arrived.
Hoping against a ninja here,
Sitting on my little boat.
He shot me, and my dreams were shattered glass...
The night was restless,
The wind blew harshly in the cold,
The lunar sky is quite a view,
The cat purrs softly,
The mournful winter releases life,
The wheat waves in the wind.
Am I the keeper of my brother?
The bird soared in the clouds,
The tree shuddered in the wind,
The wolf howled its mournful cry,
A mountain pokes out awkward in the mist.
I really liked this poem of first lines...it gives such a wide overview of the type of creativity and range of ideas we have over here. You get a medal, Gantic.
aknerd
You are a predictable lot deep in ways depressing
Only one emotion you are capable of expressing
All others you seem to be repressing
Try to write in ways that keep the reader guessing
For instance, this line doesn't rhyme with any other
You keep writing about things you regret
Or lines that are as cliche as "teacher's pet"
If you really are all that upset
Maybe you should go crying back to your mother.
Yeah, that's right, I lied before
And one stanza had five lines, the other four
As a poem goes, it's pretty poor
And quite shallow as well.
Hurrah for self-referential humor! This tongue-in-cheek response to the wave of happy sentimental poetry is quite a powerful, humorous jab.
Gantic
Now that we are face to face,
Hills are mountains where I stand.
The chase at hand is bland and base
Now that we are face to face.
Now that I can say your name,
Streams are rivers where I ford.
The game's reward's ignored as tame
Now that I can say your name.
Now that you say you are mine,
Trees are towers where I climb.
Divine with time is grime and brine
Now that you say you are mine.
From Gantic again we have a style of poetry that not a lot of people can pull off. The intertwining, internal rhymes combined with an impeccable meter really gives it that sense of storytelling and artistry that seemed to have come from an age past.
Avorne
The lake like glass
The hills like cotton
Summer's soft touch
Is long forgotten
Long, warm days
Gentle, calm nights
All have lost
An unwinnable fight
Crisp, short lines and simple rhymes really enhance the presentation of this poem. Paired with its anticlimactic endings and its excellent contrast of different connotations, it really was an example of a big little poem.
BenTheBozer
For the time has come
To finish war
To end poverty
To help each man
Put down your guns
And listen to the hearts of children that have fallen in your greed
For the time has come
Peace is a must
Peace is a must
For the time has come
To end hate
To end greed
To stop this plague
Children are the future
Children are dying
For the time has come
to finish
I had the impression as I read this that this was a piece of presentation poetry, a speech turned into a work of poetry. The language is extremely direct, but the words come across irregularly so that one would not know what line to expect next. Open-ended last lines and interesting repetitions also add to this feel.
slayguy8
I am the Walrus,
tusks like steel.
A giants roar,
living in packs.
We cry our cry,
as we talk.
With our thick skin,
we slowly walk.
I am the Walrus,
doesn't stand with me.
What suits us better,
is that I should be We
Waluigi submits a Beatles song for a first line, and slayguy comes to accept the offer. The result? A real winner of a last stanza.
Gantic
The cry of the hawk
Like a chicken bawk bawk
Is a stereotyped sound like a moo
The call of a cow
Like a feline meow meow
Is a stereotyped sound like a hoo
The scream of an owl
Like a canine howl howl
Is a stereotyped sound like achoo
The sound of a sneeze
Like the buzzing bees bees
Is a stereotyped sound like a coo
The song of a dove
Like a human love love
Is my stereotyped sound for you
I expect this to be a show-stopping number in a Barney-meets-Avenue-Q musical. Fell off my chair reading, then singing this poem to myself.
jezz
A tongue of flame fanned by the wind,
Wax from the candle melts slowly and thins.
Butterfly flutters too close.
Soft crumpled wings and the smoke of a ghost.
A sheet of ice cracked by the cold,
A parchment of mystery, centuries old.
Droplets of water appear,
A voice from the Ancients, a single shed tear.
A breath of air whispered at night.
A bat in the throes of its ultimate flight.
Wings poised in ghostly grace.
The shock of the light painted clear on its face.
The meter in this poem is more-or-less regular, but I have not seen a scheme like this before. Whatever the case, the way the poem worked felt like a series of vignettes that started slowly, arose with a sudden jolt, then resolved as benignly as they had started.
Hypermnestra
It isn't because you are beautiful
It isn't because you are kind
It isn't because I am neither
(Though I think that I am, in my mind)
But it is because you have money
And that is just what I need
It looks like Slayguy's girlfriend isn't going to be happy about this one. XD It was so honest, though, that I couldn't help but laugh at it.
jezz
The creepy guy across the street,
Had several hands instead of feet.
As mocking was his neighbour's joy,
He adopted the name 'Monkey Boy'
And a new character was born. Great meter, great twist, and great rhyme. Moar Monkey Boy stories plz.
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Thanks for reading! Comments, questions, and suggestions all welcome here.
An excellent idea Parsat. Aren't you just the cleverest! It will also make people write better poems and put more effort in so that they get featured here.
Thankyou for putting the time in also.
Indeed Thank you.
I'm curious as to why you never take part in the actual thread?
I'm curious as to why you never take part in the actual thread?
Who, me? Course I do.
Parsat's on practically every page of that thread!
Thankyou Parsat, for featuring a couple of my poems, I was quite surprised you included me actually
Who, me? Course I do.
That's what I get for not paying any attention -_-'
Heres a taste of mine.
âªâª Rubber ducky youâre the one. âªâª Rubber ducky you make evil fun. âªâª
Indeed. Was kinda surprised it got necro'd, but if it happens I'll do it.
I needed inspiration, I decided to be selfish and let other supply the first lines
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