ForumsArt, Music, and WritingMy Story!

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This is a piece from a story that I wrote a long time ago, but I still don't have a name for it yet. I hope you enjoy! Constructive critisism is always appreciated. I'll post this story chapter by chapter, probably every few days or so.

"Everybody on the floor!â one of the robbers screamed as he fired a shot into the nearest surveillance camera. The bankâs guard dropped his gun on the floor and held up his hands. One of the customers let out a shrill scream and fainted. The bank manager hid under his desk and pressed the emergency button mounted under the drawer. People began to rush for the door when another robber fired an automatic rifle over their heads.
âEverybody on the floor now, or die!â the other robber shouted, in a deep powerful voice. âI donât wanna kill any of youse, but believe me I will!â he snarled, giving away his New York accent. All of the customers dropped on the floor. A puddle of urine flowed across the floor from under a terrified old man, who was shaking uncontrollably. Sirens wailed in the distance as police cars approached the crime scene.
âWeâre gonna have company, real soon!â hollered the guy with the automatic rifle to the other thieves.
The criminals seemed unconcerned as the police surrounded the building. They were busy watching their hostages and scooping cash from the cash drawers behind the teller line. The police called to the robbers on a megaphone; âWe have you surrounded, send out your hostages and give up Now!â
The door to the bank opened, all of the police pointed their guns as an attractive young woman emerged. She was visibly terrified and crying. Directly behind her pointing a gun to her head was one of the criminals, using the woman as a shield. âLetâs not get too excited here,â he called out in a loud but calm voice. âWe donât want to kill any of these nice people here, so why donât you all just go home now.â The robber jerked the woman back through the door and started to laugh hysterically. The door opened again, just a crack and a paper weight wrapped in hundred dollar bills came flying out toward the police. One of the officers ran up and grabbed it. He jumped back behind the protection of his squad car.
Inside the hundred dollar bills, was a note; it said: If you even start to enter the bank, we will kill everyone, including you, police.
The hostages could hear a grinding sound, coming through the floor. The thieves all looked at each other with knowing glances. Their leader began to cackle like a maniac, all of the criminals broke out in spontaneous laughter. âPlease just let me go!â the young woman pleaded to the robber who still held her arm tightly.â
âYouâre coming with us girly, we need a hostage,â the man said in a rough voice. âNow, come on boys were going to empty the vault.â One of the bandits jerked the bank manager out from under his desk. âCome on you, we need someone that can lock us in the vault.â
They all stepped into the vault, except for the branch manager. âNow you close and lock that door, or we kill this pretty girl. You wouldnât want that on your conscience, would you? The leader said in a menacing voice. The door shut with a solid clang and the crooks inside all heard the vault bolts close.
âGood job boys!â the young woman said in a quiet voice. âYou can all take off your masks now, were among friends.â The grinding sound suddenly stopped and was replaced by a series of muffled popping sounds. The floor in the middle of the vault began to fall away. âWeâve got about 20 minutes before they can open that vault, so grab all of the cash in here and lets get moving.â The young woman ordered. It suddenly became evident who the leader of this gang really was.

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