Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The Words and Workings of Wolf
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Here is a thread dedicated to my work as a writer. This thread will mostly be filled with my poems which vary in theme but I try to fashion myself after my favourite poet T.S Eliot, who I believed captured human nature in his words. I aspire to do the same. Please feel free wo citique and review my work. However, simply saying "I like it" is not good enough, as a writer I must grow and develop so I beg you readers to give me a reason as to why or why not you liked the poem. To start off I shall provide you with one of my personal favourties.
These Are The Boring Bits
Call life what you will,
A joke,
A curse,
A gift,
An adventure.
Take from it what you will,
Joy,
Sorrow,
Love,
Hate.
Lose yourself in it
Find your purpose
Or,
Find nothing at all.
A man asked, "What is the meaning of life?"
A woman told him, "Whatever you make it to be."
A child asked, "Is god real?"
A parent told them, "Only you can decide."
Personal opinion is what we use to guide us,
The opinions of others are what lose us.
We can never be certain
That we are certain of anything
Because of change,
And because things stay the same.
What makes sense one day,
Will confuse us another,
And so it goes on.
People tell others to:
Get in line,
Grow up,
Get our lives straight,
Who told these people these things?
And why tell us the things that broke them?
Is it human nature to be unhappy?
Two men sit on a bench,
In a park,
Under a tree.
They talk about family and friends
They talk about work and dreams.
One man says, "It is a waste of time to dream,"
The other says, "Yes, but to have dreams is not."
Dreams are what the world is made of
Bad dreams,
Good dreams,
Lost dreams.
Hope is never far off,
As the old die,
The young are born,
The young grow,
They become old,
The old die.
But while they are young,
They change the world.
Some for the better,
Others for the worse.
Inspiration is a dream.
The only inspiration in life is life:
What to do?
How to do it?
Can we change the world?
How to change the world?
Is there purpose?
Are we real?
Or a figment of imagination?
All questions do not need answers.
Call life what you will,
These are the boring bits.
- 634 Replies
Well done! One thing though. If you could make the lines even, it could look and sound better.
It's BS responses like this that make me want to shut down this thread. I'm not complaining about your "criticism" I'm complaing about the "Well done". The fact that "Well done" or, "I like it" is hardly, if ever, supported by a reason as to WHY makes writing very, very FRUSTRATING!
"Die Trying" was very nice wolf. The poem was very powerful and meaningful!
My favorite stanzas would be:
Well I guess the joke's on you
I'm digging my own grave.
One day at a time.
So put on your brave face
And watch me.
And
Turn your gaze somewhere new
Somewhere where I don't
Have to look at you!
And my two favorite lines:
So put on your brave face
And watch me.
My only complaint lies in the last stanza: I feel you used "I will die trying..." a little much. Other than that, superb!
Wow, I think I'm a good writer! That makes you an Excellent writer! That makes you a Great writer! I like your poems. They're... they're very poignant.
Death Note
Push me a little more
You conceited f*cks.
Let me show you the truth
Behind all your f*cking lies.
You think you're so perfect.
That people like me
Are nothing but ants!
Go on and try
To hold the world in your heart.
I'd love to see it not burst.
A million bloody pieces
Scattered for the scavengers.
Read these words and think
Nothing. Nothing. NOTHING!
Have me gasp my last breath.
Bleed me and write up
A new contract of slavery
In my blood.
Let me stagger on a while longer.
Because I still have words for you.
Holy crap, Wolf. O.o
Is it weird that one particular user pops into my head when I read this? xD
I'm going to try and be as precise as possible here. I really like the poem, because thats how I feel when people make me frustrated as well. I'm surprised anyone can turn it into poetry so well.
The las two lines are my favorite, I do think. So filled with a bitter sense of triumph.
I might think of some negative things later, but for now I applaud you.
It has very little to do with AG and a lot more to do with my life in general.
I didn't say that it did. Its just at the first line, one user popped into my head, though unrelated to the rest of the poem.
That makes you an Excellent writer! That makes you a Great writer!
Maybe put the first sentence after the second one to make it a little less....anticlimactic.
Is it weird that one particular user pops into my head when I read this?
I'm now paranoid that it is I.
I'm now paranoid that it is I.
No, it isn't.
I didn't say that it did. Its just at the first line, one user popped into my head, though unrelated to the rest of the poem.
I felt the need to explain anyway
I'm now paranoid that it is I.
Ditto, bro.
Maybe put the first sentence after the second one to make it a little less....anticlimactic.
Their synonyms aren't really in the right order.... But whatever.
So, that last one, was very very angry.
You already know how I feel about that.
:/
Mortality(lyrics)
Did you know I
Went to the show today
I saw a man die
He was about my age.
Yeah, yeah...
Did you know I
Broke down inside again?
I'm a total mess.
I'm nothing but pieces.
Yeah, yeah...
Well today I woke up
And found something new.
Yeah today I woke up
And didn't think of you.
And I guess this is what
They call...mortality.
Did you know I
Burnt your picture again.
All ashes and dust.
And they're all on my floor.
Yeah...
You said I was
Nothing you'd ever seen.
Strange and unknown.
But I'm standing once more
Oh.
Well today I woke up
And found something new.
Yeah today I woke up
And didn't think of you.
And I guess this is what
They call...mortality.
Well it took time
And I'm losing touch
But that seems okay
'Cuz this life don't mean much.
Take my picture
And remember me
I'm the face in your mind
You'll never see.
And I guess this is
Mortality.
*waits patiently* I know more people read this thread than respond....
Sorry, Wolf. I was going to write something, I swear, but I was reading through old threads. It's funny seeing mods before they were mods. XD
ANYWAYS.
I really like the lyrics. Is there a tune to go with it? If there is, I'd love to hear it.
I can't quote right now, but I must say the last stanza was my favorite. "I'm the face in your mind that you'll never see" It's very mysterious and haunting.
I really like the lyrics. Is there a tune to go with it? If there is, I'd love to hear it.
I create the music in my head. I used to have a friend who could do my lyrics on the guitar, but, he gave up music. I really have no replacement. And I'm not musically talented, so I used to have to hum the tune. Strangely he always found the right chords.
Wolf, if that is true, or at least the thoughts behind it, I'm very proud of you.
I can kind of figure out a tune for that, but I can't write music like the one I'm thinking on the program I use.
From a literary stance, it flows very nicely, but to make it completely blow everyone away, music would be key.
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