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Fortunately you were ninja'd, and then pirates started to take over the world.

Unfortunately, I'm part of the Pirinja clan. We're a mix of Pirates and Ninjas and we killed all of the Pirates since we're better.

Fortunately, the pirates survived because they were from the future.

Unfortunately, pirates and ninjas don't mix. Ninja shurikens pirate.

Unfortunately, my group doesn't like hearing that too much and we get you with our Pirinjaness.

Fortunately, we escape the so-called pirinjas.

Unfortunately, a feat like that is impossible.

Fortunately, ninjas are faster than pirinjas. Therefore, the feat is possible.

Unfortunately, a Pirinja has the speed of a Ninja, but the firepower of a Pirate. It's impossible.

Fortunately, Captain Jack Sparrow began assuming direct control.

Unfortunately, he gets killed by ninjas. This also removes the mix.

Fortunately, it doesn't. And the ninjas are promptly killed for killing our leader, since we have the best of both Ninjas and Pirates.

Unfortunately, a scientist on the other side of the wotld did an expiriment that dissolves all Pirininjas into slugs,

Fortunately, the scientists didn't get rid of our equipment and skills, so we find him and force him to change us back.

Fortunately, we made a book that had all of our secrets. Thus opening the door to a new generation of Pirinjas.