Let me put it in a more generic way: Do you believe it is better to have something, and then lose it and know you can never get it back, or is it better to simply never have had that thing at all?
Personally, I think the latter is better. If you are never exposed to something, you can't regret it. Too much of my time has been spent regretting, and the fact that you can't do anything about it or change anything...at least if you never had that thing, you never could have made a mistake to/with it.
if you loved somthing/someone and then lost it, thats not fun...... and i would have preferd to have avoided the sistuation completley then go through heartbreak
Then you would have never loved whatever/whomever it was and would have never experienced that love. All good things must come to an end someday, and with this short life that we are destined to have, we must take every opportunity of good experiences we can, even if it ends terribly. And if you continued to follow the latter principle (ignorance is bliss), you would avoid having those experiences being fed to you. So many good things could have happened to you, but you would decide to shrug them off. To me, that would be a very crude lifestyle. This ain't you of course, I'm just making an example lol
While experience is a good thing, too much hurt may have too negative of an impact.
I find the expression simplifies things too much. And I can't choose. Good memories? Hurt so badly now. Bad memories? So much guilt. Would I rather not have learned anything from all of it and have gone with less depression? I can't form an opinion on that. Can't change the past either way.
I've lost so many pets over the years I'm not sure I can really grow attached to one anymore. Can still grow attached to people, but am pretty afraid of letting anyone get "too close" after (among a few things) a painful break-up.
For the "knowledge=power/ignorance=bliss" aspect, I'd... Probably prefer bliss.
Knowledge = power only if you can use the knowledge to your advantage in the future.
When we are hurt by an experience we have to be able to examine what it is that caused the pain. This is a difficult thing to do, especially for someone that suffers from depression. (I know) I think Freakenstein is right. You have to open yourself up to being hurt so you can know what it is that you like and don't like, but to my mind it only starts there. Examination is key to me. Figure out what it is that you did ;in your own opinion; wrong and then figure out a way to not make the same mistakes. Our lives are made up of good and bad. Would we know the bad from good if we only had 1 to choose from? Ignorance is bliss. While it's a nice sentiment I think you would have to have at least a mediocre or better life to not realize there was something better out there. Can you imagine being always cold and hungry and alone and not realizing at some level that there must be more to life than this?
I do believe that our bad times can make the future seem dark and foreboding. always being kicked in the face when you walk out the door will make you not want to walk out the door. (talk to someone that suffers from agoraphobia) Those are the times that we need to learn from our mistakes and take a different door outside.
I've lost so many pets over the years I'm not sure I can really grow attached to one anymore. Can still grow attached to people, but am pretty afraid of letting anyone get "too close" after (among a few things) a painful break-up.
You would just have to pick yourself up and move on--better yet, have someone help you along the way. It's the "bad" experiences you're reminiscing about, instead of the "good". I don't want to say you are, since you're not one-sided about this, but you maybe are too fixed upon the bad and don't want to experience more. If you focus on more of the "good", then you may be more inclined to want that "good" again. It's definite that you had many good experiences with your pets and loved ones, over the one bad experience. It was powerful enough to end the relationship in full, but it's something that you have to use to your advantage, to learn from it.
This isn't necessarily to you in particular Zophia, but not all experiences are going to end in such a way, meaning they aren't all going to have bad times or the same outcome of bad. If you "rely" on the past times in order to avoid what's coming up, you will and are going to slow down and eventually stop, frozen in time.
You would just have to pick yourself up and move on
This can be so incredibly hard, y'know? It's a very simple concept, it's so easily said, but done? Can be so hard to.
It's the "bad" experiences you're reminiscing about, instead of the "good".
Naw, I mostly try to remember good times. But when it's good times with someone I've lost, those happy memories become painful. Because it's gone.
It's definite that you had many good experiences with your pets and loved ones, over the one bad experience.
One bad? Pets dying of age, illness, getting killed by neighbours, getting put down for stupid reasons, getting lost and presumably run over, getting cancer, getting... You get the picture? They all died or had to be given away. I still love animals. I just don't grow attached in the same way anymore.
Break-up was bad. I'm not entirely reluctant to try again, but I'm tired of the hurt from liking someone and being turned down. Learning from just personal experience, it is not worth trying at all. Adding in knowledge of the world and other people, it's maybe worth it, but not something I'll seek out.
Learning from experience has negative effects when so much of the experience is bad.
Of course, I'm not just happily settled on this stuff. I'd like another try. I'd like a chance to not screw things up. Just have experiences of doing so piling up.
How did you lose the one you loved? If it was from death, then yes. Celebrate their life instead of mourning their death. Was the relationship not in calm waters? If this is the case I present another question: Did you really love them?
I have yet to experience a break-up, however. I am not a reliable source of advice on said situation.
