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TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

I decided I'd try and post some of my poems on here, since I liked the first line poem thread so much. I would really like some advice on how to improve. Thanks!

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TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Thank you for the comments, Kyou!
I actually have more stuff to potentially put up, but I'm lazy and my scanner is two floors below me.

Skeleton_Pilot
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Skeleton_Pilot
1,361 posts
Blacksmith

Wow... the hair on that girl, and the amount of shampoo it must require to keep it clean...

Yes, these are the things I think about. =P

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Dang your laziness. >:


I know T.T
And I really want to draw the Creeper team. I'll probably do that next, I need some practice drawing guys anyway, since my hands are getting much better.

Wow... the hair on that girl, and the amount of shampoo it must require to keep it clean...

Yes, these are the things I think about. =P


I actually know a lot of people with that much hair. :P

FLP stuff.

To be the slain, to be the maimed,
To be midst those strewn on the plains,
To be those faces left forgotten,
Left in places, corpses rotten,
Is not the dream of glory told,
By wizened soldiers, stories old.
The sad disguise of battle gone,
Death's final rattling song,
Ringing out from voices young,
Their love ballads still yet unsung.
The poor lads tricked into war,
The cruelest joke played yet so far,
Never to feel the sun again,
Fated to lie, to be the slain.

I also really want to write a new short story...in case anyone wants to give me a prompt....
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,804 posts
Peasant

The poem is very nice, though the flow is a little off in a few places. But good job none the less.

A prompt...

A tragic tale of a person who has everything they want, yet isnt satisfied and can never find happiness.

A romantic comedy of a man who falls in love with his own reflection.

An embellished, fictuous biography of your most favorite person in the whole wide world. *nudgenudge*

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

The poem is very nice, though the flow is a little off in a few places. But good job none the less.


Yeah, when I went back and read it I realized how off some of the lines were.

I love your prompts, and have ideas already for two out of the three, and have already written out the third.

Maverick: the Tale of Excitement, Honor, and Darkness:

Maverick was born, and on that day, lightning flashed and he arrived into this world with a pen in his hand and the mark of the author stamped upon his chest.
From that day forth, Maverick has been vanquishing bad writing and replacing it with words of shining gold, and will continue to do so until the ancient demons of the night finally wrench the bloodied pen from his lifeless hands.

The End.
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,804 posts
Peasant

I love your prompts, and have ideas already for two out of the three, and have already written out the third.


Thanks! I'm looking forward to see just how you put your mark on them.

Maverick: the Tale of Excitement, Honor, and Darkness


That was... Beautiful. I'm touched. *wipes away tear*
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

"To us."

He lifted his glass in salute, drops of red staining the tablecloth. The reflection of the candle danced in amusement, flickering as it laughed.

"Even the fire is brighter when I'm dining with you," said he.

Kyouzou
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Kyouzou
5,062 posts
Jester

Interesting. Not going to lie, the description almost makes it seem as if this dude is going to turn out a serial killer of some sort.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Uh......
Uh..................
*Feels guilt*

http://imageshack.us/a/img202/2918/reaperi.jpg

Devoidless
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Devoidless
3,675 posts
Jester

Is..is it really you? Haven't seen you in ages!

And totally amazing picture. I love how it is all gothic lolita/zombie girl. If I was a woman, I'd totally wear that.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Voidy! A welcome face.
http://imageshack.us/a/img267/1155/image6hd.jpg
Yeaar it's me. I've decided to start writing again or something or other, and figured the best place for motivation was this one.

Wooooo

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Ah thank you, wifey! I have some more, but I'm lazy and don't want to take pics. ._____________.
I still owe you a drawing, don't I?

Devoidless
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Devoidless
3,675 posts
Jester

D'aww, that's an adorable picture. I mean, um...why am I not burning down villages and stuff? Totally. Yup. -_-

I don't think that is her hand stuck in my jaw as much as herd hand being placed around my neck under my jaw. I think it's awesome.

I hope that you stick around for a while. It's nice seeing some familiar faces around here.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Submission for the poetry contest:

"He just snapped." I laugh.
"As if these rusty chains were
so easy to break."

Drawings will be posted whenever my webcam decides to start working again.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Blarg.

Death is the only touch that's true,
Don't listen to her gleaming eyes
Red lips will always fade to blue.

The high and low, the middle too,
Ignore the sound of their own cries.
Death is the only touch that's true.

Measuring their bloody words to chew,
Spitting them through weary lives.
But red lips will always fade to blue.

They try to hide (as cowards do),
Building their castles scraping high,
But Death is the only touch that's true.

It comes to them, no better than you,
Buries them under dirt and sky--
Red lips will always fade to blue.

The bards will still sing as if they knew,
That until still tongues forever lie.
Death is the only touch that's true,
And Red lips will always fade to blue.

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