I decided I'd try and post some of my poems on here, since I liked the first line poem thread so much. I would really like some advice on how to improve. Thanks!
I know I was going to do another day of Limericks, but I had a writing block, and I couldn't resist doing another First Line Poem. Here it is: (I'm not sure what it is. A Sonnet? A prose poem?)
A Tragedy Unfolds
Dashing into the forest, With her hair shining gold, And her hand-spun silken dress, Was beginning to unfold.
Her tender feet stumbled, On the thorny earth, She was not used to fleeing, She was from noble birth.
Her pursuer followed suit, Murder glinting in his eyes, He held a dagger in his hands, He followed the prey's cries.
With his steel-toed boots, He caught up to her soon, He caught her with his wretched hands, Her death lit by the moon.
Her pale skin grew more pallid still, And her arms went limp and cold. The stars even mourned her death, Or that is what I'm told.
The murderer was caught and tried, And sentenced quickly to death, His pathetic cries and pleads lasted Until his final breath.
As for the maiden, her image stays Within the trees and sky, You can see her walking through the woods, Sadness in her eyes.
I have no idea what this kind of poetry is called...it's pretty bad and sort of akward, but I wanted to try something like this out, and practice makes perfect! XD
Dream in the Night
I had a dream the other night, Where darkness and the glare of light, Were twined in everlasting flight, And neither had the greater might, As the black haze obscured my sight, The two forces continued to fight, Soaring up like shimmering kites, Striking out of petty spite, They dealt me a mighty smite, And I drifted back towards the light.
I fell upon the graceful shore, The tide still growing ever more, Casting shells from Ocean's floor As the waves echoed like forgotten lore, Mimicking cries from death's own door, The weakened gasps of the sick and poor, Who knew what the Ocean had in store? But memories forgotten, forever more.
'Twas light upon the grassy hill, The hill I viewed from my bare sill, The sill worn down, and worn down still, Still forgotten, the lonely mill, The mill where hopes and dreams are killed.
I fell upon the graceful shore, The tide still growing ever more, Casting shells from Ocean's floor As the waves echoed like forgotten lore, Mimicking cries from death's own door, The weakened gasps of the sick and poor, Who knew what the Ocean had in store? But memories forgotten, forever more.
I really enjoyed this poem. Not too many poems with an oceanic theme to them, great job! But you got 'death's own door' from me, didn't you ;O
I really enjoyed this poem. Not too many poems with an oceanic theme to them, great job! But you got 'death's own door' from me, didn't you ;O
Actually, I forgot about that. Maybe my subconscious did though. I think It'd be cool to write a poem in the style of the Raven. Maybe I'll make that a week-long project or something.
Actually, I forgot about that. Maybe my subconscious did though. I think It'd be cool to write a poem in the style of the Raven. Maybe I'll make that a week-long project or something.
That would be cool, I was actually considering making a Epic or mock-epic... But I ended up being too lazy. A poem like Raven would be awesome!
Okay, Breakdown of the Raven (I'm posting my thinking process on here, by the way.) Use of Alliteration, Repetition, Meter, Rhyming, Personification, Simile, Metaphor...
I like them Tacky, I really do. I can't say anything bad about them because there isn't anything that sticks out in a bad way. So yay for you I'm anticipating this upcoming work.
