ForumsWEPRThe real god is a purple elephant

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PracticalManiac
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PracticalManiac
295 posts
Peasant

What you don't believe me? Prove me wrong because I know for sure he is the real god, he spoke to me. Seriously I want you all to bash me on why I am wrong when so I can lol because I know for a fact he is god.

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iMogwai
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iMogwai
2,027 posts
Peasant

What's that? No prophecies, you say?


Prophecies are just bull**** anyway, so what difference would that make? All religions have their prophecies, yet the way they contradict each other, only one could be true. That means the majority of the prophecies will be made up, and thus making a prophecy a very unreliable source.

Alright, can you at least show the effect of said purple elephant deity?


The purple elephant has intervened in my life. Today when I was making dinner, I was trying to decide whether I wanted chicken flavoured or prawn flavoured noodles, and then suddenly, I had like an epiphany! I realized prawn noodles was what I wanted, and I knew in my heart it was the purple elephant who had given me this insight.
314d1
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314d1
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Nomad

@314d1 1. That actually is rather general. I see that it states fire bursting from the earth.


Well that is your interpretation of it, isn't it?

2. And when was the Book of the Holy Elephant written? Before the invention of the atomic bomb? If so, what proof is there?


It was written by the great Elephant himself, but he hid it on golden bowels and had a prophet, Smith Joseph, read them. It is an interesting story. So it was actually written millions of years ago. And it could only be read threw this ring thing that allowed Smith Joseph to translate the bowels. And proof? It has been sourced in the Great Elephant Tomb, or GET, that this would happen. And that is why the GET are only the first three books of the HEB.
Darkroot
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Darkroot
2,763 posts
Peasant

Legion1350 everytime you want to bash the &quoturple elephant",

may he eat fresh greens, kill all infidels that deny his existence and all blind men that try touch his brethren elephants to recognize what they are, and fail to do so.

ask yourself how your religion is any different, then ask yourself have you gotten the point of this thread and the purple elephant,

may he let his brethren face in honorable directions and all infidels face minor discomforts when they find it acceptable.

Legion1350
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Legion1350
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Nomad

Prophecies are just bull**** anyway, so what difference would that make?


Depends what religion we are talking about. If I am correct, Jehovah's Witness has made many predictions, but not a single one came true. Also, I haven't seen one false non-apocryphal prophecy.

And proof? It has been sourced in the Great Elephant Tomb, or GET, that this would happen. And that is why the GET are only the first three books of the HEB.


Ah, but can you verify the age of the Great Elephant Tomb?

The purple elephant has intervened in my life. Today when I was making dinner, I was trying to decide whether I wanted chicken flavoured or prawn flavoured noodles, and then suddenly, I had like an epiphany! I realized prawn noodles was what I wanted, and I knew in my heart it was the purple elephant who had given me this insight.


That is not physical effect. You made a decision and called it the word of an elephant.

Well that is your interpretation of it, isn't it?


Yes it is:

And the ground shalt tremble when the hand of the elephant had smasheshet the ground.


The ground will shake.

And so it shall come to pass that fire shalt blow forth fromith his fist, decimating huts and burning people.


Fire will shoot from the area around the ground and burn lots of crap.

And they shalt cry for mercy, with flags of white flowing.


People will be scared crapless and will beg for peace.

So the ground will shake and fire will spew from the ground burning stuff while people beg for peace. Alright, that could be an atomic explosion, but the age of the Book of the Holy Elephant would have to be verified.

Legion1350 everytime you want to bash the &quoturple elephant",
may he eat fresh greens, kill all infidels that deny his existence and all blind men that try touch his brethren elephants to recognize what they are, and fail to do so.
ask yourself how your religion is any different, then ask yourself have you gotten the point of this thread and the purple elephant,
may he let his brethren face in honorable directions and all infidels face minor discomforts when they find it acceptable.


What the bloody heck did you try to say back there?
Darkroot
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Darkroot
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Peasant

What the bloody heck did you try to say back there?


I didn't try since I succeed in writing what I wanted to. All I said is when you bash another religion look back at yours and go, "what's the diffrent"

Everything else was a reference to the Disk World series and Blind men and an elephant.
iMogwai
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iMogwai
2,027 posts
Peasant

You made a decision and called it the word of an elephant.


Replace elephant with God and you'll get the same kind of reasoning most Christians seem to have when explaining their belief. "I know it because it's true!"

That is not physical effect.


Fine, he's intervened in my life before too, more physically. Once, I hit my toe, and it really hurt, but after an hour, the pain was gone. Obviously this was the divine intervention of a certain purple mammal, because he showed me a sign to let me know this was true. It wasn't really an obvious sign, but it was obvious enough for me. I sneezed, and as you might've heard, he created the world by sneezing, making it the perfect sign for someone who knows of him. The elephant is very clever like that, showing his signs in a way only the faithful will see. Either way, it was a miracle performed by the purple elephant, and whether you like it or not, I know that was true.

Depends what religion we are talking about. If I am correct, Jehovah's Witness has made many predictions, but not a single one came true. Also, I haven't seen one false non-apocryphal prophecy.


How very convenient that you only felt the need to quote the small part of the argument you actually could counter. I'll just repeat myself: many different religions have prophecies that contradict each other, meaning most of them are false, which means that the average prophecy is nothing but bull****. That's why I think that the lack of a prophecy wont make the religion any less believable.
MageGrayWolf
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MageGrayWolf
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Farmer

Can anyone prove the purple elephant doesn't exist?

Einfach
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Einfach
1,448 posts
Nomad

Can anyone prove the purple elephant doesn't exist?

Only if the purple elephant's existence implies a contradiction.
Legion1350
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Legion1350
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Nomad

All I said is when you bash another religion look back at yours and go, "what's the diffrent"


As I have already done before.

Replace elephant with God and you'll get the same kind of reasoning most Christians seem to have when explaining their belief. "I know it because it's true!"


Honestly, I have do agree with you there. People like that make Christians as a whole look unintelligent.

Fine, he's intervened in my life before too, more physically. Once, I hit my toe, and it really hurt, but after an hour, the pain was gone. Obviously this was the divine intervention of a certain purple mammal, because he showed me a sign to let me know this was true. It wasn't really an obvious sign, but it was obvious enough for me. I sneezed, and as you might've heard, he created the world by sneezing, making it the perfect sign for someone who knows of him. The elephant is very clever like that, showing his signs in a way only the faithful will see. Either way, it was a miracle performed by the purple elephant, and whether you like it or not, I know that was true.


Those are all very common occurances. Nothing special there is proof of the intervention of a deity. Think large-scale. What is in bold is what contradicts your own "I know it because it's true!" statement.

How very convenient that you only felt the need to quote the small part of the argument you actually could counter. I'll just repeat myself: many different religions have prophecies that contradict each other, meaning most of them are false, which means that the average prophecy is nothing but bull****. That's why I think that the lack of a prophecy wont make the religion any less believable.


Alright, I'll try to put this in a more direct statement. I believe my religion because none of the prophecies are contradictory.

Can anyone prove the purple elephant doesn't exist?


No, because you cannot disprove something that has no effect on the environment. Can you prove the purple elephant does exist? No, because there is no physical evidence of the purple elephant. If the purple elephant existed, and there was a purpose to worship the purple elephant, there would be a way for us to know it exists.
sk8brder246
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sk8brder246
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Nomad

haha i love threads that make fun of religion

RugRat
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RugRat
340 posts
Nomad

I do too, but sometimes we come off as *****.........just my opinion

iMogwai
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iMogwai
2,027 posts
Peasant

What is in bold is what contradicts your own "I know it because it's true!" statement.


I disagree.

Alright, I'll try to put this in a more direct statement. I believe my religion because none of the prophecies are contradictory.


What I'm trying to say is that one religion's prophecies can contradict another religion's prophecy. That means no more than one religion can be right, and the odds say that any religion is more likely to be false than true.

I've never actually read the whole Bible, but from what I've heard, it's full of contradictions. And even if it isn't, that wasn't my point, your religion still contradicts most other religions out there. What exactly makes your religion true, when the other religions also have their prophecies, holy writings, prophets and whatnot?

No, because you cannot disprove something that has no effect on the environment. Can you prove the purple elephant does exist? No, because there is no physical evidence of the purple elephant. If the purple elephant existed, and there was a purpose to worship the purple elephant, there would be a way for us to know it exists.


Once again, replace that with God and you'll have a perfectly fine argument against your very own religion. I love how you're trying to prove us wrong when we're using the very same arguments your own religion uses.
Kasic
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Kasic
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Jester

No, because there is no physical evidence of the purple elephant. If the purple elephant existed, and there was a purpose to worship the purple elephant, there would be a way for us to know it exists.


Oh but there is. You see, he speaks to us commonly in signs, but they are only noticeable to those who have perfect faith. He acts all around us, don't you see that tree? He created it. You see this planet? Yep, that too. My parents friend recovered from cancer only by his grace, and we know it was so because everyone waas praying for him to get better.
Darkroot
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Darkroot
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Peasant

I love how you're trying to prove us wrong when we're using the very same arguments your own religion uses.


I also loves that he most likely hasn't gotten it yet. But yeah it's funny, Christians defending their religions by developing arguments against theirs or ones that can directly apply.

No, because there is no physical evidence of the purple elephant. If the purple elephant existed, and there was a purpose to worship the purple elephant, there would be a way for us to know it exists.


Actually I saw him once and he spoke to me, to believe in him and spread the truth. We don't need physical evidence that just to test the believes the true believes know he exists and we don't need any proof since it's a fact he exists. Logic doesn't apply to the great purple elephant,

may he grace us with his great omnipotence to see the truth of existence and believe in him and to mildly discomfort the non believers we it is convenient and then directly un-discomfort them after 1 of his holy seconds. May they choke on the air of freedom and pass their bowels 2 mins before being inconvenient thus being only slightly less than convenient.

Also I have faith I don't need logic to apply into this real world since I know he exists as a proven fact.
NoNameC68
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NoNameC68
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Shepherd

I'm locking this thread because it served its purpose. The conversation can continue on one of the other many religious threads.

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