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Ah yeah I don't get a long with my Mother either. And it's better than way. Now my life is fine. I have nothing to complain about.

music

One of these days I'll go into detail about my life throughout the years that I've lived.

Probably next weekend when I have more time to type and don't have to study very hard.

I was born on August 10th, 1995.

I don't remember much for the first three years of my life, but there are videos throughout those times. I was a very happy baby and toddler. I would play with my family all day long, my older brother and my parents, my cousins and such.

I remember my fourth birthday party clear, everyone was there, I got a a cool red bicycle with training wheels on it, however I didn't use it as much until I was five, but I'll talk about that later on. I started preschool a month or two after I turned four. I remember that I had the nicest teacher there, her name was Ms. Dede.

When I turned five I started going to elementary school. When this happened I was a bit nervous about it because I had to spend so much time away from home and I've never been away from home so long before in my life. However, I knew I was going to like it because of all the new people I would meet. I remember a boy walking into the classroom, his name was Nicholas. I remember him coming into the classroom and not wanting to go to class for the same reason as me, but he was more scared then me. He started crying to his Mother about it in the classroom. What I didn't know at the time is that Nick would be my best friend in school, but I'll talk more about that later.

The first day of elementary school was good, I got to meet new people and I had a nice teacher again.

That same day I started riding around my red bicycle with the training wheels, it took me about a week or two to get used to it. Then one day my grandpa that I was living with took off the training wheels and held onto me while I was riding then let go and I had it.

I was living with my grandparents since I was three years of age. My Father wasn't around at the time, it wasn't that he didn't want to be around or he abandoned us, but he couldn't be around for reasons, I won't go into that here. My Mother had two-three jobs at the time and couldn't watch over me at the time, so I had to live with my grandparents along with my older brother.

I might skip a few years of school throughout this post.

I remember when I was seven my Mother finally got hold of her money, had enough of it and enough time to finally take care of us. We were living in a medium sized apartment, it was big enough for her, my brother and me. This same year my Mother brought home a black cat for us, we named her Luna. Luna means moon in Spanish.
My Mother saved this cat from some people that didn't take care of her.

When I turned seven years old my Father came back to live with us because he was able to now. We lived in this apartment for about another year or two. My older brother and I would go to our grandparents house every now and then as well because we generally liked it better over there because there was more room for things and he could have his friends over.

Oh, and we had a new addition to the family. I got a little brother this year, it was great now. I had an older brother and a little brother, I was the middle child.

The school years in elementary were good. I was a very talkative person and made friends really easily, I also did very well on schoolwork and I had the nicest and best teachers there.

In fifth grade I got my first girlfriend, her name was Brittany. We have been friends since the third grade.

Sixth grade was an okay year for me, I was sad at the time because I wouldn't be able to see all the friends that I made in elementary when I went to Junior high. But I had their phone numbers, so we could talk often and sometimes hang out if we had the time to do so, but most of them lived a bit far from me.

One of the best things that I remember from sixth grade was that I went to a birthday party and one of my friend's graduation party that he and she had.

First was the birthday party that my friend from fourth grade Brandon had. It was an excellent party because he also invited a lot of people there, there had to have been around twenty other people from class there. Once it started getting a bit late he started asking people if they wanted to spend at night there, seven people said yes, I was one of them. First thing that we started doing was playing football and basketball in his backyard, he had a large backyard and an awesome basketball hoop.

The second party was two days after, my friend Nicole was having a graduation party. There were fifteen people there, most of them girls and a few guys. We did things like dance and play some games and such. It was fun while it lasted, but I had to leave early.

In Seventh grade, this is the year that I started playing football. A few friends of mine were playing too, so I know that this would be fun, even though that the conditioning was difficult at first, I soon got used to the stuff. This year we won a lot of games and lost very few, it was a great year for this team. We also made it to the Sutter Bowl, or something, it's like the Super Bowl for this team, but a different name of course. We won that against the other team that lost one match that year. The score was 28-14. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention what position that I play while playing football. I played linebacker for the team and sometimes offensive lineman.

The next week we went to the school and celebrated this victory and got handed two trophy's. One for participating for the team, and one for winning the Sutter Bowl.
This is the same year that I started weightlifting with my father and elder brother. We worked out six days a week two hours a day, very hard at first, but once you build up your stamina and strength then it's relatively easy to do.

A few months later, I got into a fight with another student at school. We were at lunch then the other student decided to start messing with one of my friends, so I decided to rush him and beat him down. I got expelled for this because I've got into three other fights that year.

I moved onto a new school for eighth grade, I didn't like this because this means that I had to make new friends and get used to the new teachers. But I still lived close to most of my friends from the previous school, so it was fine.

This is the year that my older brother went to jail for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was at a party, he drank a little too much and knew he wasn't going to be able to drive himself home. So he asked one of his friends to take him home, three other people were in the car at the time. One of the guys in the car had a gun, he told the driver to stop the car, my brother and another man were in the backseat. They couldn't do anything about this, the man with the gun told the people to stay in the car and took the car keys with him. The man with the gun got out of the car then started to beat a man that was walking his dog. The two people in the car started running away from the place, my brother stayed there. Police came and took the man with the gun away and my brother as well. The man with the gun told the police that there were two other people in the car that left, so the police soon tracked them down after the man told them their names. The man with the gun got a sentenced to jail for ten years, the other two guys that fled the scene got five, my brother got three. I don't understand how the other two men and my brother got sentenced since they didn't do anything. But the judge was ruthless.

My family and I visited my brother in jail every week or a year and a half. I'll go more into this story later.

In ninth grade I started highschool and I wasn't very talkative this year because I missed eighth grade and couldn't meet any people there. But I still got new friends and such. This year was a bit bad for me, I would slack with schoolwork and get in trouble a lot. One of the worst punishments that I was given was B.I.C. This is an in school suspension where you are in a room with thirty other students and there's absolutely no talking while in this class or you get more of it.

Back to the story, my brother got out of jail a year and a half early. I forgot what it was called, but he sent something to the judge. He was on parole for a few months after he got out. He stayed good and away from things that could get him in trouble.

The summer after this school year my cat that I've had since I was seven years of age passed away, her name was Luna.

I'm a sophomore at the moment, but this school year I've decided to do my work more at home than at the school this year because a school a few miles from my school closed down and a majority of students there started going to my school, and a lot of kids from that school are bad. So I decided that I didn't want to be around that and do my work on my computer most of the time. But I go to the school two-three days a week then the rest I do it at home.

I'm 15 right now, my little brother is 7.

On January 31st, 2011 my older brother and his girlfriend were murdered. He was 21 and she was 19.

I've been depressed ever since then.

Wow sorry to hear about your brother. And it sounds like you had a pretty good life for the most part. And I've been through that. I got every single detention there was in school. Yeah I was a bad boy when I was ten. I hope you get over your depression soon.

I'm surprised me, Matrix and Mage have been the only ones to talk about girls.

Ghostofmatrix, about your depression, are you a religious man?

Ghostofmatrix, about your depression, are you a religious man?

Hope you get better soon.

I was born in New York in 1995
in May 2006 we moved to haifa, israel
it didnt work out, so
August 2006 we moved back to New york,
IN Jan. 2009 we moved to jerusalem
and in a week im moving to petah tikva.
AND I HATE MOVING

also in july 05 my grandad died...

Why did you move to Jerusalem Gr8est?

About my friend Nicholas. We met in Kindergarten and were friends all in elementary and the first year of junior high, but after I got in trouble with the school I never saw him again. We were friends because he was one of the first people that I met when I started school and we shared a lot of common interests.

I think I also left out something about housing. When I was around seven or eight, a few months after my little brother was born, my grandparents gave us their nice big house because the apartment was a bit small for five people. They moved not to far from here.

And when my cat died last summer, a few months after that I found a new cat that looked just like Luna wondering outside. My little brother named her Midnight. We had her for a few months until my little brother got his allergy test then we had to give her away to my Mother's best friend.

I also didn't go on about my first girlfriend in fifth grade. We dated for a year then broke up, it was elementary stuff, though. Although we are still very close friends to this day and talk almost every day.

In ninth grade I met a few new friends, some that I want to talk about are two girls that I dated for a few months each, then I'll talk about some others after that. The first girl that I met was named Maria, we had a lot of things in common with each-other and dated for two-three months, then just lost interest in dating each-other after some time, but we're still friends. Next girl is Mileena, I liked her much more. Same reasons as the previous girl, but with Mileena we dated for a longer period of time, but due to personal issues I left her. But I've remained friends with all my previous girlfriends.

I met two awesome guy friends my freshman year at school. We met in Phys Ed while playing football and the other things we had to do in there, then we started talking to each-other. They reminded me of the friends that I had in junior high and elementary school, just more mature. With them I would go to the gym often and go to the part to play sports.

If I had one wish, then I would wish to rewind time to August 10th, 2010.

Today, I've realized that I've made two long posts about my life and probably went too far into detail about it.
I'll leave this thread alone for now and leave you people with a few of my most favorite songs.
Burn In My Light - Mercy Drive.
Metalingus - Alter Bridge.
The Game - Motorhead.
How You Remind Me - Nickelback.
Burn It To The Ground - Nickelback.
Glass Shatters - Disturbed.
Although posting those songs may be off-topic, I really like them, and I feel the need to post them.

Ah, Life.
I will seize this chance to vent.

WARNING. THIS WILL BE A VERY LONG POST THAT PROBABLY WON'T MAKE SENSE TO A LOT OF YOU.

Most people know my first name by now, common and you could never track me with it. For those that don't know, I'm Emily. Born on the first of September in the year 1995. I was born into a family that comprised of a beautiful christian mother and a handsome christian father. They had two children before I came along, 2 girls. I was the 3rd child and girl of the family.

I was a child that would sit in a stroller and ask a stranger what they ate for lunch. I never really had tantrums, and I barely ever cried. I was walking at about 7 months, and talking before anyone can remember. The only thing I remember getting in trouble for as a 'baby' is climbing out of my crib and going back to sleep in random places.
Needless to say, my first 4 years were trouble free. As they should be.

In kindergarden, I made tons of friends. I remember the first day... Mrs. Winter was my teacher. A very very nice lady that taught for 14 years before having me in her class. I was younger than most of the other kids, I started school early because I could read already and with that ability my birthday was then close enough to the cut off date. But everyone was nice enough and I am still friends with over half of my kindergarden class.

I'm going into too much detail, aren't I?
Oh well.

My kindergarden teacher loved me. I was the one with the answer before she could finish the question, I was the one she would ask to help her on something, or for me to help someone understand something.
One day, Dad came to get me out of school early. We went to my Mom's parent's house, in Lucedale, and we normally went every weekend. This wasn't normal.

I loved going to my Papas house on the weekends, (I called him Papa even though he was my grandfather, pronouced Paw Paw to the northerner) Because he was my very best friend. He would help me get into trees, or let me help him mow the backyard, or let me ride the horses or help in the neighbors barn. I knew him for only 5 years, but I remember him as if it was yesterday. My sisters didn't like Papa, they didn't think he was nice, so they always stayed inside when I played or worked with Papa.

When we got to Papa's house, I saw my mom crying. I didn't no why, so I asked.
She told me he passed away.
I was five, I had no idea what that meant. I asked again. That is when I realized he was dead. Diabetes was the force behind it.
Me, raised in the Church, knew that Papa was a good soul, so I told her it was alright, because now God gets to be with him, working and playing, and God deserved to have Papa to work and play with. She stopped crying and told me I was right.

When I went back to school, my teacher told me I didn't have to help out in class, because I was supposed to be sad about Papa passing away. Didn't in my mind registered as Couldn't.
I got mad. I loved helping out in class, why was I not allowed to help out? To be sad? I wasn't sad. I was happy to be back. I didn't do anything at all that entire day, I just sat down stared at her. Until it was time for Recess.

Mrs. Winter wouldn't let me play on the playground because I didn't do my work. Before we went outside, I got upset because I couldn't play, and she tried to hug me to calm me down. I was furious. I turned around as she tried to hug me and she wound up getting her arm across my neck, like a chokehold. I flipped out and I bit her arm and quite literally went crazy.
I was sent home.

I had to apologize to Mrs. Winter, and I did. But she never hugged me again, I can tell you that. My class didn't care what happened really, except for one kid. He decided to tell me on the playground one day, that I belonged with the special ed kids cause I went crazy. I didn't care, I just ran off to go play. He followed me, and annoyed me. So I hit him in the face.
It isn't my fault noses are so darn breakable.
I was sent home again.

That kid, who goes to school with me to this day, hates me. He is my bitter enemy. Lifelong hatred.

After kindergarden, I don't remember much of first grade or second, except second grade is where I met my best friend, Ashley.
Then third grade, where I met my second best friend, Carmel.
They are still my best friends to this day.

Third grade is when my little brother was born. It was also the year my Mom lost her job. My Dad too. I didn't really care, I was having too much fun at school and with friends.
Eventually my Dad found a job, but my Mom stayed at home to take care of my little brother. I never remember my Mom taking care of me like that, I was in day care since I could remember.

I was jealous. Evan, my little brother, got all the attention. And what could he do? Sit there and drool. Meanwhile, none of my grades EVER dropped below a 100, and I had tons of friends. I had to prove I was worthy of my Moms attention too.

I was soon signed up for Softball, where I made more friends and I was really good at playing. I threw the farthest and ran the fastest, hit the hardest and fielded the best. Mom never went to any of my games. Only Dad. I have played softball for almost 9 years now, and my Mom has gone to 1 game.
2 of the seasons I played, we were undefeated. 7 times, I was the MVP of my team.
Just 1 game for my Mom.

My Mom found a job as soon as Evan was in school. I never noticed that I was getting the hand me downs of my sisters, they were always fighting, I usually ignored them. By the time I got into 6th grade I was trying to follow my sisters footsteps, both of them. They got attention from my Mom and Dad, what did they do that was so much better?

I got into the Advanced classes in middle school like Erika, made more friends and went to social events like Eden, and I still went by unnoticed. I started playing in band, I wanted to play drums like my dad, but I chose flute, like my mom and Eden. Thinking my Mom would enjoy knowing we played the same thing.
She told me to be first chair, and I got first chair. Mom told me good job, but she also plays piano. So I learned piano in my spare time. And so I did. Still not good enough.

In the summer of my 6th grade year, almost a 7th grader, I found this guy. Adorable, funny, etc etc. We dated. For almost a year. Then to find out that one of my friends that I have known since I was 5, was dating him behind my back. Well, they pulled it off for a very long time. So I had severe trust issues with all of my friends now. I treated them like utter crap, and I deserved to crawl in a deep dark hole and not come up till I turned 100.
My friends were split in half, most of my friends were friends with her as well, things didn't end well.
I turned into a complete and total biatch, towards the end of my 7th grade year. I started skipping school, and I stoped caring about pretty much everything, things only got worse from there.

My 8th grade year was completely awful. I no longer beat up the bullies that picked on the other kids, I started getting in trouble for fighting with anyone that gave me a bad look. I picked up on a few habits from some not so good friends, and I decided to throw school down to the water closet. I skipped school and got in school suspensions and out of school suspensions more than I was actually in a classroom, and every last thing that was good in my life died, fled, or ignored me.
I did something that would be considered a 'cry for help'. It got me attention that was needed, but in a baaaaaad way.

I had no idea how horrid I was being to people.
I managed to get my little brother to hate my guts, my sisters to hate me even more, my parents to be nothing but disappointed and angry with me, my friends had no idea how to take my behaviour, and my teachers just gave up on me.

I think I got some sense slapped into me when I hit high school. I still decided to flip off school, but now I focused more on mending my relationships with people.
My family took that in a negative manner and wants to think I'm doing something even worse, but I got more of my real friends back, and I was happier than I had been in a really really long time.

That brings me to this year
I know what you are probably thinking now. "FINALLY MOON IS GETTING LESS DETAILED SHEESH"
And I want to say you are correct. But I have no idea what these fingers type, it is like they have a mind of their own. o.O

This year, I decided to actually try in school. I've gotten more A's this year than I have in a while, even though I am dangerously close to messing up in quite a few classes, I have time to fix them.
My relationships with my friends have improved, and if they haven't, it isn't for lack of trying.

My family situation is... a touchy subject. A lot has happened to us all, and while that doesn't excuse things, it does allow for me to endure and just wait out my time for them to see me as someone with a functioning brain, and not some rebellious satan worshiper.

After typing this all out I feel extremely relieved. I know, it is just an online community and such, blahblahblah, but I actually have friends here. Good people, that I enjoy talking to. So this is for all the good people

I'm in debt to those that have seen a glimpse of my bad side, and you haven't run away or never wanted to speak with me again, you know who you are, the lot of you. :P

It is the 15th of May in 2011. at 5 on a Sunday morning, this is the first time I have typed out this bit of my life in concentrated form, much less shown to thousands of people that might stumble across this. This is my past, a part of my life, but certainly not what my future will be.

Well I promised you a story, and I'm going to deliver.

I was born May 25, 1991, exactly three months premature. I spent the first three months of my life clinging to it. There were several times when I could have, and nearly did, die. I was taken home from the hospital on August 25, 1991, ironically the day I should have been born.

Over the next few years, because of my premature birth I had health problems. They eventually cleared up, but my parents told me that I nearly died at the age of one because I stopped breathing. I consider it a miracle that I'm alive today.

Skipping ahead to the age of nine. I started to be bullied in grade four. I was a human punching bag, and shunned by most the people I had once considered friends. When I moved schools the year after I thought things would be different. I wish I could say they were. The next three years were a living hell. I didn't have a single friend, I went home in tears more often then not until a learned to hide all my emotions. I shut everyone out, no one was allowed in, not even my closest friend, Sam, who I've known my entire life. I became a creature of isolation. I would come home and lock myself in my room only coming out for meals and to use the washroom, and possibly to watch TV. But mostly I just read books. Dozens of books. Fantasy, adventure, horror. Anything to detach myself from the world in which I lived. Anything to escape from the pain I had lodged in me. It wasn't enough.

When grade eight came around I was on the brink. I was either physically or emotionally beaten daily. My parents had a hard time dealing with me, they didn't understand why it happened to me. Neither did I. I was loathe to go to a teacher again, they had never helped before, in fact they often made it worse. But, I tried one last time. Mr. Joseph Vale, my grade eight teacher, the only teacher to give me a chance, the only adult aside from my parents to treat me like a living, breathing human being. I owe him my life. I was in a suicidal state the entire year. It peaked when one of my classmates actually killed himself. Many students openly told me they wish I was dead instead of him. I can still remember that feeling. In grade nine I was still bullied, but it wasn't as severe, still it was enough to nearly put me over the edge from time to time.

After the bulling I spent the next few years unraveling my insecurities. I had developed trust issues, paranoia and various insecurities about myself. I don't think I really trusted anyone until I met Bre. We met on a school trip to France and we were friends from day one. She developed a crush on me, I didn't share her feelings. We were friends for almost a year before I realized I had feelings for her, but I didn't say anything, I thought she had moved on. I waited a few months and asked her out on a date. We dated for the next six months until she left for school in September. She had promised me that we would work on a long distance relationship. Two weeks later, she broke up with me over a text message. The day after she started dating someone else. Over the next few months we lost our entire friendship, she completely forgot about me. Now she regards me with a cold indifference that never fails to break my heart time and again.

Ever since Septemeber I've lost two jobs, been in a series of car accidents and have run into more financial troubles. Along with being shunned by the majority of my friends I've been struggling with manic depression. So, my story isn't the worst, but it's what's happened to me, I've been happy, but right now I'm no where near there.

Daing yall are really expressing feelings. MY life is great, lots of fun and alcohol and partys and more alcohol and girls and more alcohol!