I love writing Haikus. My best friend taught me how to write them. He said ' It's not that hard. All you have to do is learn.' So I did and I fell in love with them. Here's my first Haiku:
Clear like Crystals It is clear, you know that what some don't know, we do albeit, they will. 03/21/11
You can use a pen But a pencil is uselesse So i use a pen
First of all, welcome to Haiku Land, Arceus12! Thank you for posting your haiku here. As a haiku enthusiast, I'm going to critique your haiku and you see what you think. I would try rewriting the haiku like this:
[b]One can use a pen, since a pencil is useless. Therefore, I use pens.[/]
I changed your first line 'you' to 'one' because that way the perspective doesn't change. I added a comma at the end to sort of join it to the second sentence. I changed 'but' to 'since' because you're saying one can use pens and pencils are useless. One of the ways to join those two ideas together and make sense would be to use a word like 'since'. You use 'but' when you're trying to compare characteristics of a single thing. Exemplis gratis: He's a great guy but he can be annoying sometimes. I added a period at the end of the second sentence because it seems to end there. I also changed the last line so that it wouldn't sound so repetitive. I hope this helps!
Hey murasaki9 thanks for the welcome and really like your idea and i have got more haiku's The water and the rain Clouds with water Which falls in the sea But why do it rain?
AG haiku There is a website Called Armor Games the great Which is the best site
Haiku land I know a place Where there are friendly people Known as Haiku land
Hey murasaki9 thanks for the welcome and really like your idea and i have got more haiku's
You're welcome! I love it when people are enthusiastic! Thank you for your little tribute to Haiku Land! It's a young place, only been around about...well, almost two years actually! It had a rough start but it's thriving now. It's the only one of my threads that hasn't died yet or been kept alive by my constant posting to bump it up everyday. I'm really proud of it.
To keep going: pride. We equal effort in all striving to survive
