I love writing Haikus. My best friend taught me how to write them. He said ' It's not that hard. All you have to do is learn.' So I did and I fell in love with them. Here's my first Haiku:
Clear like Crystals It is clear, you know that what some don't know, we do albeit, they will. 03/21/11
mura, thank u for that compliment but i write on a spur of emotions.... they r my best friends when writing haikus, not all r good, but i never see any of them as being "bad" haikus neither, keep that in mind.... hmmmm wat am i feeling now hmmm..
Myself an empty abyss hollowed soul with a full heart internal unrest
Okay, here are some of my Haikus. Don't laugh. If you think them strange, its because I wrote them for a friend of mine, in honor of him. These are actually his words, put into the form of Haikus.
Snow Falling, falling down white drops of pure beauty teach us to love.
Rain Comes to wash us clean makes the tears and pain run off fresh for the next day.
Discourse Thoughts become feelings words are uttered to explain the actions that come.
I liked the Snow and Rain ones Murasaki. Kudos to your friend for such meaningful words.
If you didn't copy and paste his works, and actually formatted them, a mild bravo to you too. It is just best to come up with your own ideas. At least you did give your friend credit.
The last 5 weren't as up to par as the first three in my opinion. Again, enjambment in the middle of the lines was awkward is some scenarios.Try to use say a comma at the end of a line, instead of a middle of a line in a short poem such as a Haiku. You may notice the difference in some instances. Again, sometimes enjambment is needed, but in this case, it throws off the flow of some of the poems.
On Life, I understood your main idea, but the wording was a bit off. Good job, but this may not be best in Haiku format, observe:
Without a Soul, Gone is the pure Essence of all. For by our Soul, We are who we are.
The reader can grasp the idea better because you can clearly see each point instead of getting confused by a single word. Or, a comma after Soul would help as weel, for the reader could then see a new point is starting. Oh yeah, also sounds like the thought I had into one of my poems... Sigh which one was it... Good job on the emotion and thought.
World Peace, excellent meaning, I would only say try some punctuation at the end of the lines, see if you like it. Haiku's don't really need punctuation for the most part, but it helps for the reader's sake. I would place : after for, since you are stating what we strive for.
Trees, the enjambment again. I don't think the comma after hard is needed if you want to keep the line as is.
Ciao, I have a problem with the second line, Greeting then period isn't quite right. Greetings, [with comma] is more appropriate.
Music is good, I like it.
Good job for the most part, keep on working and you will become better, promised!
Thank you Supalegit and Endscape for you encouraging good-to-knows! And yes, I did reformat my friend's words. No copy and pasting. Anyway, please keep the constructive commenting coming! Here's a Haiku I did for a video my friend posted on Youtube. It was a tribute to the victims of the Japan Tragedy. He wrote the music. I'm really proud of him. Anyway, here's the link to the video.
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weaWoXIeG_I]
My haiku opens the tribute. Please tell me what you think. And please if you can write a comment on Youtube. And please, if you can, tell anyone you know about it. I'm sorry its been almost a month, but I couldn't do it then. Anyway, since this is in relation to my haikus, I thought I'd give it out and see what people think.
Oh, sorry, CommanderDude7, I didn't notice your post in amongst all the others. I just now noticed your haiku. Thank you for it. I think its better than my Haikus, but then, I'm not so good. If you think you're poor, then' I'm terrible. Ha, ha
Oh, sorry, CommanderDude7, I didn't notice your post in amongst all the others. I just now noticed your haiku. Thank you for it. I think its better than my Haikus, but then, I'm not so good. If you think you're poor, then' I'm terrible. Ha, ha
Its fine. I just consider mine poor because I dont make alot. However due to the humorous AG-Kong forum fight I thought to write a new one. Both sides like to fight Though in the end neither win It still makes me lol
Oh, that's funny. CommanderDude, your haikus are good. By the way, has anyone checked out the link I posted? It's haiku related. [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weaWoXIeG_I]
