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Screw optimism
Be dark and dreary; like me
Pessimism rulez.

You all know I'm not a pessimist in real life, right?

The glass isn't full,
But I'm not a pessimist;
The glass is broken.

Thats worse than not full!
That is to say, half empty.
Jeez, Mav, scary shiz.

You don't know scary:
Dark suits and cloves are scary.
Sos the Godfather.

And you know what else?
My karate skillz are too.
HACK! CHOP! POW! All dead.

Insolent knave! In
Your fury you forgot my
Won'drous cup of joe.

Wench, please. Get your own.
As if I would get you joe.
You don't deserve it.
D;<

Know what you deserve?
Slaps for leaving the kitchen.
Now get back in there.

ABUSE! Call the cops!
And get them to make you a
Freakin' sammich dude.

I AM the police.
I'm in your house Alexis;
Theres naught you can do.

>

Oh, thats creepy Mav!
But I'm not there, ha. Ha. HA!
I'm miles awayyy.

I know where you are!
You're in my kitchen, ha-ha!
'Cause you're a woman.

Sexism is bad.
So are stereotypes, Mav.
I scrape the shame stick.

Know what else is bad?
Leaving your friends quite hungry.
It makes me so sad.

Hey I'm hungry too!
I havent eaten since nine.
I'd eat a brony.