OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
I'll start: 1. Instant Seafood. If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control. When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them. With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge. If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows: 1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better. 2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. > 3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
255: OctoClaus Christmas is coming and, being a sad loner, you will get no presents. How sad. But, with new OctoClaus, you can now get an almost-perfect gift! On Christmas day, OctoClaus will start to eject presents non-stop! It's a Christmas miracle!
Warning: presents may be covered in OctoPoop. Let's hope you bought some OctoPaper!
Cant Decide whether to cut off the Red wire or the Blue wire? Simply buy OCTOCAN! With an state-of-the-art multi-intelligence compact octopus in a can, your bomb disposal nightmare is over! Simply add water, and let the freeze dried revived octopus do the job!
Moldable Sealife! OctoCan is now 48% more moldable! You can now squish and squash the OctoCan to new, interesting shapes! An whale-shaped OctoCan? A Octo-bike? The Great Pyramids of Octo? Every thing you can imagine! Buy now!
#257: OctoTool! Lost your trusty screwdriver? Cant find your nut wrench? Misplaced your chainsaw? Never fear, brand new OctoTool transforms into any tool whatsoever!*
258: OctoCan-dy Have a sweet tooth but are allergic to dairy? Can't stand liquorice? Then OctoCandy is for you! With enchanced, 74% more sugar-filled tentacles, marshmellow eyes, ice-cream ink and much more, this delish fish is perfect for sweet-tooths everywhere. Get it now!
#259: Japanese Culture Something so original, JapanOctoCan is here! Simply open it up, and learn first-hand just what role octopi play in Japanese society. DANGER! DANGER! KEEP ALL FEMALES AT LEAST 500 FEET AWAY. OctoCorp is NOT responsible for any injury, etc. Caused by marital relations between a JapanOcto and a girl.
260. Energy Source Running out of fuel? Use OctoCan's OctoInk! It can instantly adapt to any fueltank and it has an unlimited use! An OctoCan also comes in as a decoration.
#259: Japanese Culture Something so original, JapanOctoCan is here! Simply open it up, and learn first-hand just what role octopi play in Japanese society. DANGER! DANGER! KEEP ALL FEMALES AT LEAST 500 FEET AWAY. OctoCorp is NOT responsible for any injury, etc. Caused by marital relations between a JapanOcto and a girl.
I did that! Look;
248. Octo!Japan Do you love Japan? Do you love OctoCan? Well now, with Octo!Japan, you can have two of them in one irresistible little manga-style octopus! Octo!Japan can speak and write fluent Japanese, it's ink is perfect for hirigana, kangi and katakana characters and you can even chop off some of it's tentacles for instant sushi! What's not to love about Octo!Japan?
261: Evolutionary Line: Is your average OctoCan boring you? Do you wish that OctoCan had 8 more legs or a third eye? OctoLution is a new product, that comes with many different parts! You may get an eye, or a few tentacles of wings to add to your squishy friend! Then apply the parts (with OctoInk glue of course!) and wait a few days before the OctoCan can fully use these new parts. It'll make any OctoCan special! Note: Parts differ from packs.
263: OctoLotion! Is your skin not smooth enough for you? Is the sun burning you? Just apply OctoLotion to your body and wait for brilliant results to emerge! Note: OctoLotion may or may not contain OctoPoop. Heh heh.
Oh. Did not notice that. Redo #259: Octoboxing Take this sport up a notch with the OctoBoxer! Comes with matching set of red and blue trunks. Send him into the ring with another OctoBoxer and watch them duke it out with their tentacles! Compete in the NOBC (National OctoBoxing Championship)! Winner gets a free OctoCan!
#264: Having trouble with your car? Or maybe your ride-a-mower? Maybe you're computer's too slow. Well, with this Octocan/magic edition, all you have to do is let the Octo go to work, squeezing its slimy tentacles through whatever needs fixing. WARNING: Not to be used in ways involving lemons. SIDE NOTE: And not lemons the fruit, either. Lemons the I-don't-feel-like-explaining.
265 unhacker mad at a hacker want revenge use this new product just put it on your computer and it will get rid of the hack then it will go to the hacker and grow huge and tourte the hacker with things like chinese water tourtre and tickle tourtue then it will do grusume horrid things to the hacker then pop it open with its tentecales
#266- Bothered by people sending Unhacker Octos at you? Being tickled and being popped open with 'tentecales'? Well, buy this SUPEREPICPIANOSHIELD varation of Octocan! Just swallow the Octo live, and you will suddenly sprout piano keys out of your mouth! These piano keys will prevent the Unhacker Octo from getting anywhere near you, and the unfortunate torturor Octo will be gnashed to a pulp! WARNING:Effects are permanent.
267 your unhacker octo just get pwned well send this out its the new unbeatbleultimateunhackerocto
not only will it do the same things as the original it will be amune to paino teeth and anything else
This is SPAM. And this has happened before. Don't make me report you.
268: OctoCan: 2012 edition. Is the apocalypse getting on your nerves? Do you want the End of The World to be a bit smoother? All you need is a packet of OctoCan: 2012 Edition! This mighty Octo will protect you from any apocalypse. Zombie Invasion? Sorted. Armageddon? Done. Last Judgement from God/gods? No problem. This Octo will supply you with food, weapons, vaccines and mercy from the gods. No need to worry about December 22nd, because of new OctoCan: 2012 Edition!
This is SPAM. And this has happened before. Don't make me report you.
I did it for you. He's annoyed me for ages with his grammatical errors and childish ways (He twists rules.) Thank me later.
269: Dealing with Invaders People randomly entering your territory? Fix this now with OctoMines! Simply put this on the ground and it will automatically bury itself. Once a stranger steps onto your lawn, KAPOW! Off he goes! This OctoMine also knows if that person is allowed to enter by its owner, which will not explode if that person or the owner steps on it.
