OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
I'll start: 1. Instant Seafood. If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control. When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them. With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge. If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows: 1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better. 2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. > 3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
18. Defense Someone channeling Elmer Fudd and pointing a shotgun at you while thinking you're Bugs Bunny? Whip open your OctoCan and toss the critter over the gun barrel before false-Fudd shoots you. When he does, the gun will just balloon up like in every other cartoon and you'll be safe!
Tired of buying more clothes? Want unique clothes? Then try OctoCan! By opening the cans and placing the octopuses next to each other, they will weave together to make clothes. Best of all, there is no limit to what you can create.
is that normal old pokeball not cutting it? is the great ball not that great anymore? is the ultra ball not at ultra value? the rest of the balls not cutting it enough including the master ball then try OctoCan-the best octopus in the world! toss it at your foe and relax while you watch your capture slowly die! i mean capture it! not impressed with that then try the master OctoCan i mean pokeball it catches the pokemon faster and you can relax becuase its not like your not going to need that zekrom or arceus!
21. Trampoline Want to bounce a lot but don't have a trampoline? Use OctoCan! Just drive some stakes into the ground in a circular pattern and stretch the octo across them. You may even out-perform a real trampoline!
And if you are really lousy at hitting the mark on the way back down, spread the contents of a few cans of OctoCan on the ground around your octopus trampoline. Their squishiness makes a great safety pad!
Running out of ink to write with? Can't afford pen refills? Then use OctoCan! Use a needle and stick it into your octopus to extract the ink out. Now you never have to buy refills ever again.
Ever came home from a long day of hard work? Needed a foot massage? Well, look no further. Octocan can make a great foot massager! Just open up the can and let the little guy massage away!
Ever wish you had eight hands? Now you Octo-Can! Pop open a can of The World's Best Canned Octopus, attach the critter to your back and the arms will reach around and hold anything you need held!
Food to expensive for you? Well buy two octocan products and let the octopuses mate! They're so quick, you get a new octopus ever day, and you can cook them each time! Every day a new meal, now with spices!
26. Angry Birds Secret Weapon. Ever had a pig structure that you just couldn't knock down? Stop launching birds at walls and use OctoCan! Firing an octopus at the pigs from an octopus slingshot will yield about the same effect as a small nuke.
27. Saving The Universe. Did your latest quantum mechanics project for school or world domination go terribly wrong and tear a gash in the fabric of time and space that threatens to suck the universe into a sub-energy netherworld? Never fear, if you have OctoCan! (If you don't, then by all means, fear.) The suckers on the Universe's Best Canned Octopus will hold ANYTHING, even the fabric of space/time continuum. Simply attach a sucker to each side of the tear and cinch it together, and octo will hold everything together! Note: Performing such repairs may require an amount in excess of 15 googol cubed cans of OctoCan. Orders of this size must be placed at least 8 centuries in advance.
28. Halloween Costume. Why, just darn your mom! She bought the same costume again! All you have to do is open the OctoCan and put it on your head! Now, you can be anything!
29. Hot-Air Balloon. Want to travel the skies but don't want to be harassed by the TSA? Stranded in the desert without a vehicle? Or just want to feel like a cloud? OctoCan is the answer! Tie the tentacles to a large basket and start pumping. When the Octopus fully inflates, you'll have yourself a hot-air balloon! And as a bonus, imagine the looks on people's faces if you're at a hot-air balloon rally and your balloon blinks at them!
do you hate it to hear your mom saying: clean your room! are you to tired or to lazy to clean your room? OctoCan is the answer! just open a OctoCan and release the octopus and he do the work for you! your room was never so clean in your entire life after you used OctoCan.
32. Homework Solver
your parents are to busy to help you with your homework? use the new Dr.OctoCan! he helps you with your homework and you get an A+!
33. Bungee Jumper Like to bungee jump but worried about the safety or lack thereof concerning your gear? Use OctoCan! Attach one set of suckers to yourself and the other set to whatever you're jumping off of, and take your ill-advised leap of faith! Warning: OctoCan's springiness, upon rebound, may shoot you into the stratosphere.
35. Protection (sorta) [An expansion, in a way, of the above use] Are you a shrimpy little thing who can't avoid getting beat up all the time? Well then, you need OctoCan! The next time someone opens up a can of kick-butt on you, open your can of OctoCan. The octo will engulf the impending butt-kick, rendering it harmless and likely embarrassing the person responsible for it. Disclaimer: DOES NOT WORK ON CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICKS. EVER.
