Forums → Forum Games → The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!
OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
1. Instant Seafood.
If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control.
When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them.
With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge.
If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows:
1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better.
2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. >
3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
Okay, your turn. Surprise me!
- 339 Replies
64. Steering Wheel Cover.
Want to make your ride look fancy? An octopus is the best steering wheel cover ever. Period. Large Octopuses can also be used as seat covers!
Ever realized that WWE wrestling is fake? Open up some cans of OctoCan, put one female octopus and lots of male octopuses, and wala! You got yourself a sticky situation! Wrestling with octopuses is awesome!
Disclaimer: Do not attempt to reach for the female octopus.
66: Bann proof
Get banned alot? well relese millions of octos and say 'hyuki ducki fush magha' and BAM they cover you in a Bann proff sheild.
^Disclaimer: If you get banned a lot, there's probably a good reason for it, which also means you shouldn't use OctoCan because OctoCan does not support the evasion of bans.
67. Party Animal.
You know the old cliche of going wild at a party and putting a lampshade on your head? Boring. It's old. It's overused. But now, you can take it up a notch - put an OCTOPUS on your head! Guaranteed to spike the crazy meter way past 11!
Remember people, there's an OctoCan Clan! If you join, you get clan points for posting your crazy ideas! Sign up today!
68: Does your friend keep showing off his octopus? well get some Octocan today and now YOU can BRAG
this message was brought to you byy: OHHHH YEAAAAA
69. super hero
do you dream of becomming a hero with super powers? then open a can of the brand new radio active OctoCan and put the octopus on your head. you will turn into OctoCan man, the super hero with 8 arms, the power of summoning an octopus army, the ability to fly and super strenght. and you can breath under water, too!
how can i become a member of the OctoCan clan? just by asking? maybe stupid question but without asking i would never know. meh, i open a can of OctoCan can get the answer...
70. answer machine
have you a question and nobody knows the answer? open a can of OctoCan and whisper the question into the can. you get quicker an answer as you can say the longest word you know three times!
71. zombie pack
you are tired ?? nothing to do ?? everyday the same day ?? just buy the OctoCan zombie pack and your life will be extremely awesome !!! you can shoot down zombies every day you wake up !! infect ppl !! and have a *-*-*-*-*-* up world !! call now and we will give you a vtol and a M4 with unlimited ammo and oh a free body guard that can pilot the vtol just for free !! dont forget these three free offers are only limited for today !!!
note : while activating the pack get out of the building ... cause you know you dont wanna turn into a zombie!!!
note 2: and oh if you are surrounded with zombies and your bodyguard is dead your weapon is broken and your vtol is out of gas no problem !! just buy this :
72 . anti zombie team (AZA_Octo)
just push the read button thingy and a army from 1000 strong and heavily armed man will be ready for you just let them to pick up their weapons and tanks and of course choppers so they can free the way for you !! and oh dont worry for their food !! cause if you order this to you will get unlimited food supply for your self and the army !!
call us !
Hands tired from squeezing all thoughs lemons? Pop open a can of Octocan, and watch as the Octocan doesn't just get it done, he does it 8 times faster!!!
73.2: Also works with orange juice
74. Computer Performance Enhancer
Is your computer slow? Is it's rate of lag making you lose games and delaying your posting? Use OctoCan! Just empty a can or two of Canned Octopus into the little vents on top of your computer's processor and BAM! 50x Speed increase! Your computer will now be so fast that it may cause a temporal anomaly from processing in the future while you're logged on in the present!
are you in danger and there is nobody? are you in trouble and you need some help? or is a wild animal attacking you like a bear or a shark? then open a can of OctoCan, and youre safe again!
76. Christmas Carolers.
Do you like to go Christmas caroling on cold winters' nights but none of your friends can carry a tune in a dump truck? Use OctoCan! Open the same number of cans as the number of people you want in your group, and all the octopi will begin to sing in perfect harmony! They'll even sort themselves out by how high or deep they each sing!
As the title may suggest, Octocans could be used for eating. No, No, No, I'm not talking about the conventional "eating the octopus," But rather, letting it feed you! You'll never pick up another utensil ever again.
Disclaimer:Some OctoCans are not well trained. Do not give an octopus a fork or a knife until at least 3 years of use. Results may vary.
are you a horrible person and want to hack armorgames?
well then octocan can help!
this message has benn brought to you by:
Evilllllllll ohhhhhhh yeaaaaaa
79. Anti-Hack Shield.
As OctoCan does not condone the hacking of any site, especially AG, OctoCan also makes an impervious anti-hacking shield! Simply apply OctoCan to your website and your worries will be over. The OctoCan shield will, upon detecting an incoming hack, send a massive electrical burst back through the lines to the offending user's computer and utterly fry it, and possibly the user as well.
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