OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
I'll start: 1. Instant Seafood. If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control. When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them. With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge. If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows: 1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better. 2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. > 3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
Okay, I'm putting a stop to this right now. Clan OctoCan does not condone hacking, viruses, or suicide bombers. Trying to use OctoCans against one another is basically like the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object - it ends with an explosion that destroys everything. Since you two have destroyed everything, there is no virus or computer, which brings me to OctoCan Use #83: Universe Resurrection. Did someone just blow up the universe? Use OctoCan! It will automatically reconstruct everything to the way it was before whoever started playing with galactic matches. Always have an OctoCan around for this!
84: did someone just stop a super hacking war. well octocan can help. it will just go to that persons house and steal his cookies! the person will be so angry he will start hacking and you can join that hacking war!
Have you ever stole someone's possession, offended someone personally, or in special cases, accidentally destroyed the universe, and you wanna make up for it? Simply give every person who has been affected a baker's dozen of OctoCans. It'll surely make up for it!
Open Mon-Sundays, not open on Moondays(Opposite of Sunday)
do you want peace everywhere? are you sad about the fights and you would cry if they dont stop killing? then use a can of OctoCan and the octopus throw all weapons into a black hole! use it with the radio active OctoCan to be sure that nobody uses an OctoCan for their bad and evil plans!
89. Seal of Approval. Want a distinctive mark to designate when you approve of something? Use an OctoCan octopus! The unique shape it makes can't easily be mistaken, and it's even self-inking!
Looks like we need more of that ninja-killing OctoCan here...
91. Ninja OctoCans are great for killing ninjas. However, killing a ninja requires... a ninja. And OctoCan is also great at that. With OctoCan Octopi as your ninja squad, you will be unstoppable. However, you may be regarded as more of a myth than a legend since no one who sees your Octopi-ninjas will live to tell about it...
Ever get tired of slowly typing on the keyboard and taking forever to write a message. Well, have no fear! One octopus for each hand and you'll be typing like the wind!
Oh no! You just lost some OctoCans, and you've searched all over the place! Have no fear! What knows more about itself... than itself?!? Simply tell another OctoCan what you've lost, and it will find its' brethren in 1-10 minutes! You'll never lose OctoCans again!
