Forums → The Tavern → [COPYPASTE] Anti-jokes

Here's a few I know:

What's green and has wheels? - Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? - We are both lawyers.
Knock knock. - Come in.

So a little kid runs up to a pedophile and says, "Hey mister, want to help me fly my kite?"

The pedophile was slightly, how should we say, amused by the kid. So he turned to the child and said, "I'm sorry, but I have a disease that makes me dangerous to be around you unsupervised. You should probably go home."

i will give you 5$ if you catch this ball.

What's the catch?

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing.

Why did Johnny fall of the swing? Because he had no arms.

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

What do you call a fish with no I's? Blind.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?
Claw at the top of his coffin.

What did the girl catch bed at her beach house?
Crabs.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?
getting ***** by a giant scorpion

this may be harsh and gross but it's my friends joke.

how many babies does it take to paint a house?

depends on how hard you throw them!

How many babies fit in a bath tub? 17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

How many people does it take to screw a lightbulb? One

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? 'Cause it was dead.

Why did the second bird fall out of the tree? 'Cause it was dead.

Why did the third bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

This one I got it from The big bang theory:

A neutron walk into a bar and ask the bartender: How much for a drink? The bartender reply: For you, no charge.