ForumsArt, Music, and WritingGantic's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia -- Round Five, Page 7

69 23321
Gantic
offline
Gantic
11,892 posts
King

Much to your disappointment, this is not another run-of-the-mill fantasy story about a weapon of crass distraction. This is a thread of Sordid Acts of Paronomasia that'll scare and amaze ya, scare ya with the sheer terribleness of puns created, amaze ya with the absolute incredibleness of ingenious puns skillfully fabricated.

So is this a thread of Gantic's terrible terrible (sometimes multilingual) puns? No! It is Gantic's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia, a contest! ... of sorts. And it'll run for six or seven rounds. You the punster, be you pungent or fragrant vagrant, are challenged to come up with the best pun relating to the theme of the round.

The prize? Well, ancient wisdom says:

A good pun is it's own reword.

And I agree. But don't fret! The punster who accrues the most Gantic Points shall awarded the title. What title? Why the title, of course! This thread, at its conclusion, shall forever be known as YourNameHere's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia.

Entries can be submitted in whatever format necessary to present the pun. Got a joke? Got a story? Or a visual pun? No problem. It doesn't even have to be funny! Other forms of wordplay may also be substituted for punnery. One entry per person per round.

Entries will be judged arbitrarily according to predetermined criteria, i.e. whatever the judge likes, and rated on a scale of 0-5 Gantic Points. The judging is highly impartial. To win, good punmanship is a necessity.

Be aware that there is such a thing as a bad pun and you may lose points (i.e. a negative score) if it's really bad. There's a difference between bad and groanworthy. Just for kicks, I'm not going to delineate the difference between bad and groanworthy.

So if you can lose points, then you must also be able to gain bonus points! Just to be fair, of course. And yes there is! But that is for you to figure out.

Onward to the theme then:

Theme for Round One against the Sword Axe: Armor Games

You have until Wednesday, June 20th.
  • 69 Replies
Salvidian
offline
Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

What can I lose for trying?

"Welcome to Armor Games! We have many fun things to do here such as blast zombies through genocide, guide blue elephants to achievements, and... Raise corn? I'm sorry folks, but it appears as this is FARMER Games! I'm very sorry.

Nevertheless, here you can blast rodents with pesticide, guide brown horses to water, and... test AG3 beta? This can't be right..."

Gantic
offline
Gantic
11,892 posts
King

What I am looking for are stand-alone puns. This is not a pun battle where you may be playing off what someone else said. It needs to be able to stand by itself and make sense without too much context required. With this in mind, we move onto the judging and scoring.

The judging is broken down as various increments and decrements to show the process and reasoning behind the results. You are given a starting score for the pun itself for originality, creativity, etc. Everything else is then taken into account incrementing or decrementing your score for the overall quality.

light_chaser - While the pun is good playing on the phrase "***** in armor" (+3), it's a punchline with no setup (-1). Why does Kongregate want to find the ***** in the armor? You also entered with an unintended pun (-1), which counts against you in a pun contest, even if it wasn't racist (not that I construe any offense intended or taken). Total = +1

jeol - It's an okay pun on armor (+2), but it requires more of a stretch (-1) and has a setup that doesn't actually set up (-1). How are flash games ironic, in both senses off the word, because they are sponsored by Armor Games? Total = +0

Cenere - These Strop puns are original and multilingual (+4) but Strop, arguably, will always be the easiest moderator to pun. (-2) It plays on the parsing of Strop and top (+1). These could be tighter by not explaining them (-2) and leaving it for the viewer by labelling them all Strop tops. Total = +2

Salvidian - The setup and wordplay are okay (+2) but I don't know where you're going with it (-1). It just fizzled. Total = +1

So there you have the first round.

Round Two against the Sworded Axe
Bear with me for Round Two because I'm not going to announce the theme. It's a grisly one that's been done to death and I don't want any copycat puns. If you're a bit too chicken to proceed, then this is your chance to duck out to recoup yourself.

You have until Wednesday, June 27th.

Salvidian
offline
Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

Wait, so it can be on anything, or did I miss the underlying notion?


It can be anything, but everyone who reads it must be able to understand it, meaning a lot of background knowledge can't be needed. It has to be able to stand alone. You can't play off of another pun.

In other words, yes. You just have to make a simple, understandable pun for anyone to understand.
Gantic
offline
Gantic
11,892 posts
King

Wait, so it can be on anything, or did I miss the underlying notion?


What do you mean anything? You obviously understand what the theme is. :P
Cenere
offline
Cenere
13,658 posts
Jester

Very well, Gantic.
First, the scan, as requested, even if it was too late:
http://i428.photobucket.com/albums/qq1/Cerene_Cerine/img022.jpg

Then, as you said, Strop is too easy to make phun of, so:
http://i428.photobucket.com/albums/qq1/Cerene_Cerine/a-g.jpg
That is, indeed, an antique Gantic.

Last, a simple illustration:
http://i428.photobucket.com/albums/qq1/Cerene_Cerine/b-b.jpg
With no titles this time around.

Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,804 posts
Peasant

So I decided that I would finally join the rather large movement and purchase the indie game 'Minecraft'. Crazy, I know. So I logged in, and started playing it, and it went rather well. You know how it goes: A tap-tap here, a tip-tip there, a here a tap, a there a tip, everywere a OMGHAPBNAALKSDHFVCOAWEHTLAKNGOAYTAHNTA THATS A CREEPER!

So anyways, I was running around the world, when suddenly I ran into a chicken (or rather, he ran into me). Wait, I lie, I was run into by a whole pleothra of chickens. I was rather surprised at first, which is odd, because as the old saying goes:

"Birds of a feather block together."

---

*Prepares for embarrasement of having completely misunderstood what the theme was*

Salvidian
offline
Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

*Prepares for embarrasement of having completely misunderstood what the theme was*


Indeed.

Well, here's my sad attempt at this. Kind of hard when there's no theme given.

http://i1246.photobucket.com/albums/gg606/Salvidian/ELVISFAN.png

Image sources:
Elvis and stage
Fan
I used Arial font and Gimp to make the image.
Gantic
offline
Gantic
11,892 posts
King

Salvidian, that's not related to the theme. The theme is there. I just didn't say what it was. Bear in mind that this is a pun contest. It really wouldn't be a pun contest if the theme was so easily ferreted out. It's a common theme for puns and will surely lead to parroting of well-worn puns so originality contributes greatly to the score for this round.

light_chaser
offline
light_chaser
1,044 posts
Peasant

When I didn't find any eggs in the chicken coop, I suspected fowl play.

Salvidian
offline
Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

Salvidian, that's not related to the theme. The theme is there. I just didn't say what it was. Bear in mind that this is a pun contest. It really wouldn't be a pun contest if the theme was so easily ferreted out. It's a common theme for puns and will surely lead to parroting of well-worn puns so originality contributes greatly to the score for this round.


Now I feel like an idiot. Paraphrasing while reading has killed me again.

Is it possible to re-submit something or does that count as my only attempt?
warriorcats123
offline
warriorcats123
694 posts
Nomad

mom:isabella go down into the celler and get the meat now
isabella:but mom im afraid
boy;nahananananana your a chicken buckca buckca
giant chiken:hey lucas have some of this (chicken punches lucas in face)
lucas (hiding behind mom): ahhhhhhhhhhh now im a chicken
the end
dose this count sorry its the best i got

Gantic
offline
Gantic
11,892 posts
King

There are about five days left. I'm not sure why there seems to be a need to rush the first thing that comes to mind.

Is it possible to re-submit something or does that count as my only attempt?


Sure.

mom:isabella go down into the celler and get the meat now
isabella:but mom im afraid
boy;nahananananana your a chicken buckca buckca
giant chiken:hey lucas have some of this (chicken punches lucas in face)
lucas (hiding behind mom): ahhhhhhhhhhh now im a chicken
the end
dose this count sorry its the best i got


Yes, but you're not going to get much out of it because it's too nonsensical and non-linear.
aknerd
offline
aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

I'm going to write something, okay?
Nine days ago I ran into a wino named Lobo
Vines for hair, his voice lilted of cow bells
"Wine!" that pig of a man said, "It's better than coffee!"
Lines of purfect trees behind us-
An odd encounter that left me wondering: Am I missing something?

It's awful, I know. I'm not exactly a beastly punster.

Reton8
offline
Reton8
3,173 posts
King

Be aware that there is such a thing as a bad pun and you may lose points (i.e. a negative score) if it's really bad.


I see that you can lose points in this contest. This means there will be rewards and punishments.

Pardon my fowl language, but what kind of giGantic baboon includes negative scores in a contest? I mean we can lose points! That's one hard rule to swallow. That rule just doesn't fly, with me.


Maybe I should Strop crabbing, my apologies Gantic I didn't mean to badger you, I suppose you added the negative scores so us contestants wouldn't get boared.

Well I have to go, my friend from EMU wants to play some COD, although his rank is really fishy. I think he uses MODs.
Gantic
offline
Gantic
11,892 posts
King

Last day is to submit anything is tomorrow. Please do so if you haven't done so already. This theme has unsurprisingly brought out some pretty bad stuff. I'm sure the next one will bring out the wurst.

Showing 16-30 of 69