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aknerd
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aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

Dear Community,

Have you ever thought about how much better your life would be if you had no problems? Well, I have the perfect solution to problems: Answers! And, I know just the place to get answers from: All you guys. The community.

That's right; we're gonna crowd source your life. There's gonna be synergy out the patootie. It's an all-you-can-eat buffet of solutions with an open bar. But don't get too excited, you can't just dive in and start on the cake before even trying the roast beef. That'd just be chaos- and we can't have that.

So here is how it works. Anyone can ask a question. Ideally the question should be about a life problem or scenario. No, it doesn't have to be a real problem, just make it interesting. Then, anyone can give advice in regards to the problem*. More than one person can answer the same problem. You can ask a new question even if the first has not been solved yet.

Okay, so it might be a bit crazy. That's okay, as long as you mind your freakin manners. It doesn't matter how fast you're shoving chicken dumplings into your food hole as long as your napkin is nicely folded on your lap. Similarly, all posts should be made using proper letter etiquette. What is proper etiquette? Were you raised by wolves? Sheesh.

And with that, I leave you to it!

Sincerely,
Aknerd

P.S. Yes, I remember I did something very similar to this before, and it got locked (for reasons I still don't agree with), but seeing that this is far more discussion orientated than that other thread, I hope it won't be a problem.

*No, the advice doesn't have to be "good" or "serious". If you are not going to give serious advice, however, please don't just spurt out random spam. Be creative. Just... put some thought into it. That's all I ask.

**If you still don't understand what this thread is, it is basically "Dear Abby", except you are both Abby and the readers, and so is everyone else.

  • 43 Replies
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,804 posts
Peasant

So I've got the lumps on my neck...

Just kidding. Serious question, edited and censored as I realise I'm in the older half of users.

In short, I feel empty. As in, I get no real kick out of things any more. I go out with friends, and have a good time on the surface, but deep down I don't feel anything. And it seems that no matter what I do, I just can't get any kicks out of it. FEELINGS! Y U NO FEEL THINGS?

aknerd
offline
aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

In short, I feel empty. As in, I get no real kick out of things any more. I go out with friends, and have a good time on the surface, but deep down I don't feel anything. And it seems that no matter what I do, I just can't get any kicks out of it. FEELINGS! Y U NO FEEL THINGS?


Dear Maverick,

Sorry that life sucks. Sometimes, life is just like, never awesome. Sometimes life is never awesome for what seems like an unreasonable amount of time. Every now and then a person comes along that can make your life instantly awesome, and this is typically considered to be a good thing. But more often, other people are more or less useless (except for the armorgames community, of course).

So my advice to you is to go have a grand adventure all on your own. For a few days, at least. Preferably somewhere you have never been before. Get away from it all- go outside, hike the tallest mountain within 100 miles, pitch a tent, catch a fish. And when you get back, you'll appreciate all those humans you acquaint yourself with all the more. There is no joy greater in life than eating a hamburger in a real diner after subsisting on pasta and cheese for a week in the woods.

Can't get away? Well there's your REAL problem.

Sincerely,
Aknerd

P.S. Sorry to hear you were raised by wolves. Must have been tough. Probably why you find life so boring now, though.

(Note to future question askers out there: the idea is to address questions to the community)
Riptizoid101
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Riptizoid101
6,257 posts
Farmer

In short, I feel empty. As in, I get no real kick out of things any more. I go out with friends, and have a good time on the surface, but deep down I don't feel anything. And it seems that no matter what I do, I just can't get any kicks out of it. FEELINGS! Y U NO FEEL THINGS?


I 'spose we'll be writing our advices or problems in letter form? Well, I'll give it a shot.

Dear Anonymous,

First off, I'd like to remind you that I'm probably no good at consoling other people, nor can I assure you that I will be giving you superb advice, but what I CAN promise is that I'll be trying my best.

To address your problem, what I believe what you're going through is a case of depression. It seems to me that you don't get a kick out of the ol' good things in life anymore, and I presume the cause must be of something personal. Perhaps the reason why you can't enjoy what is happening at the present is due to you not being able to "let go". Perhaps you're holding a grudge, or you're unable to move on after a traumatizing event? Now, this may not be the case, so correct me if I'm wrong.

What you do have to realize that you may not be aware of it, but it is possible that your subconscious is the one that's unable to move on. Now, I'm not going to pry into your personal life and find out, but what I can tell you is that whatever it is that's holding you back from enjoying life for what it is, you have my sympathy, for I once was in a similar case such as yours. I can't guarantee anything, but perhaps you should get help from people such as family or close friends.

Heck, it's always good to have a shoulder to lean on, for not everybody can be a superman. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I can't and won't give you any false hope and perhaps my consolation might be of no use in the long run, to make it simple, and I'm sure you're well aware of it, if you can't move on, you'll be frozen in this little period of empty feelings.

Have no fear, however, because I'm sure you'll get through it, and you'll have me supporting you along the way.

Sincerely,
Riptizoid101
Riptizoid101
offline
Riptizoid101
6,257 posts
Farmer

Whoops. I apologize for double posting, but I forgot my question.

Dear Community,

So I've got this ol' "TV" whom I have affectionately nicknamed Betsy. Ol' Betsy is the best "Television set" one could have.
She's reliable and large, and she immediately responds to my every whim with the push of a button. Recently, however, Betsy has become sluggish. She no longer sounds peachy like she used to, and every now and then, she just blacks out and I'm unable to do anything with her. I don't want to call in people to come check her out due to me being low on funds and I'm a bit weary of other people touching her, but I'm deeply concerned.

I've read things online on how to help her, but the remedies all don't seem to be working. I fear it may be her time to go, but she is my baby and I just can't seem to let go. She's unique and irreplaceable, but many have insisted on getting a new one.

What should I do? Do you think I should replace her?

Sincerely,
Riptizoid101

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,442 posts
Jester

In short, I feel empty. As in, I get no real kick out of things any more. I go out with friends, and have a good time on the surface, but deep down I don't feel anything. And it seems that no matter what I do, I just can't get any kicks out of it. FEELINGS! Y U NO FEEL THINGS?


Dear Mav,

Meh, I've never been much of a 'feeler' either. Never had much use for drama. Just find something you enjoy, something that makes you laugh. For me, next semester I'll try "For every (#) hours of homework done, I can watch (3*#) minutes of QI." The best part is even if I get through every episode ever, I'll have so much other stuff going on that I won't remember a single one, and can enjoy it all over again. So, go out and find something you like a lot. Laughter seems to be the best treatment, if not a cure. It's at least an enjoyable distraction from what would otherwise be a hollow existence.

-Emp

PS:
So I've got the lumps on my neck...

That could be a problem of blood flow. Seek medical attention if they've been rigid for more than 4 hours.

Get away from it all- go outside, hike the tallest mountain within 100 miles, pitch a tent, catch a fish. And when you get back, you'll appreciate all those humans you acquaint yourself with all the more.

If I did that, upon my return I'd quickly be reminded how hedonistic, narcissistic, and opiated most of the world really is, and I'd fall right back into existential nihilism.

What should I do? Do you think I should replace her?

Yes, but you can always store her in a freezer in the basement for when you want to look at her. That's what I do with all my former... electronic devices. *shifty eyes*
aknerd
offline
aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

Dear Riptizoid101,

I'm sorry to hear you are having entertainment problems. Sad as it may be, the eventual decline of all relationships is inevitable. As you seem to have experienced, there will always come a day when you just won't be able to turn big ol' Betsy on the way you used to. Her spark will be gone, and it won't necessarily be clear how to get it back. You'll try to talk it out, but she'll just give you static.

Now, I understand your reluctance to bring in outside "help". The financial issue is definitely a problem. Now, one solution to that is to take advantage of craigslist. There's plenty of people on there who would love get Betsy all plugged in proper. Hell, depending on her condition they might even pay you! You shouldn't be so afraid to try new things. Betsy may be old, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't appreciate some new moves.

The other option is to listen to your friends, and move on. There are plenty of other nice sets out there. They may not be Betsy, but in time you'll learn to love them just as much, with with their thinner profile and modern curves. Alternatively, you could just switch teams a bit and use your computer. There are plenty of sites* out there that will satisfy the same needs as Betsy did.

Best,
Aknerd

*like hulu. Get your head out of the gutter.

Jacen96
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Jacen96
3,087 posts
Bard

That could be a problem of blood flow. Seek medical attention if they've been rigid for more than 4 hours.


Pretty sure this is his spine.

Is there a way to cure a personality that tends to annoy everyone around me.

~~~Darth Caedus
danielo
offline
danielo
1,773 posts
Peasant

Dear ernie,

So thets were you hide all these ex-AGians! I knew they didnt just disapeared. You kidnapped them, over fed them and then killed them, skin them off and made a dress out of them and started to dance and...
I realy should stop watching this movie and sleep into it...

Anywho, Jacen, im not sure if you asked a question or tried to answer to another person, but ill just shoot;

Dear jacen,

There are 2 options:

1 - you will need a pillow, this person adress and some guts.

2 - think: how does he annoy you? Doing what? Most of the time you cant even tell. Just tryto point the finger on it, so you will know from what to beware and avoid. Some peoples embarace you, some people act douchy from time to time, some insult too much. Point the problme, and then it will be much easier to solve it. Ask the who befor the what. (No, not Doctor who).

aknerd
offline
aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

Dear Community,

I am currently troubled by a problem with which I have little previous experience. Given the median age of you community members, I expect ya'lls have even less experience, and therefore will produce hilarious solutions. Though please note that this a very real problem.

During this current summer, I have been residing in a group-living type situation. I have been in such a situation before, but this is somewhat different because the group is more "odd" and there is no person in charge to complain to about things.

So the majority of us are all of drinking age, and choose to partake in a safe responsible manner, a couple beers at dinner and such. Sometimes things get tad bit rowdy, but that's normally restricted to weekends or particularly boring Tuesday afternoons.

Out of the entire group there is exactly one person who never drinks. He is very religious and doesn't drink for primarily moral reasons, which is fine. People should be free to make their own choices. The problem is that he really looks down on our choice, and refuses to even be in the same room as us if he even thinks there is an open container. The issue here being that our building doesn't really have a living room or common area (and the bedrooms are very small), so we pretty much just hang out (and drink) in the kitchen.

I feel very bad, because he basically won't eat dinner with us, and just gets fast food and whatnot almost everyday. He's a fun guy to hang out with and besides this one issue is relatively normal. But he won't even go to restaurants with us because he is too worried that someone will order a beer. When confronted about the issue he straight up said that he is afraid of getting pressured into drinking and getting "black out drunk".

I don't know how to explain to him that he can hang out with people who are drinking without being pressured into drinking himself. Obviously, I don't want to make do anything he isn't comfortable with, but I'm not talking about dragging him to a bar or a frat party. He enjoys hanging out with us when we are not drinking, so this isn't an issue of him being an introvert or whatever.

Has anyone encountered a similar situation, or just have some idea of how to handle this issue?

Sincerely,
Aknerd

EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,442 posts
Jester

When confronted about the issue he straight up said that he is afraid of getting pressured into drinking and getting "black out drunk".

This seems to be more of a trust issue than anything. Unless it's something like he thinks he's too weak to control himself around the stuff, that as soon as he sees or smells it he'll chug as much as he can. Maybe it's a lack of education on the subject.
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,804 posts
Peasant

Dear Aknerd:

His reservation stems from probably never having gotten blacked out drunk before. Some of my greatest achievements have come while I was blacked out drunk, and you're not a very good friend if you're in aggreement with this cellow and holding him back from the good stuff. Ducktape, a keg, and a funnel should solve your and his problems. If not, well... I'll give you an address you can mail the keg to.

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,442 posts
Jester

*fist fights, you never know.
*9 out of 10 doctors agree, that this is a pretty terrible idea.

Then the other doctor wants to get paid.

@aknerd
Bring a flashlight with plenty of batteries (if you have the means, oil lamps are always better), some painkillers, and sanity potion. If you don't have those things, double-finger defense can be quite effective.
EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,442 posts
Jester

@aknerd

*facepalm*
@Spirit

waiting for that edit button...
aknerd
offline
aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

Dear Spirit,

In regards to your last letter, I'm sorry to say I will probably do exactly zero of those things. At any rate, the problem isn't that we (I should say that there are 7 of us who regularly hangout/drink together, plus the guy who doesn't drink, plus this random girl who I literally never see = 9 people) start drinking when he's around and drive him off. Its that he just assumes we are drinking and disappears into the night (this is not an exaggeration).

The issue is that I feel bad that he feels like he has to ostracize himself over what doesn't have to be an issue. None of us get drunk at all, and I don't think he would even realize we were drinking if we were to do something sneaky like switching the label on the bottle* or whatever.

*Yeah what up we drink out of bottles cause we're classy like that.

In regards to your most recent question:

Spend a night in the woods. You probably won't die. Best case scenario, you have a good time and gain the confidence to overcome your fear of the woods.

Worst case scenario, there is some sort of demon out there and he gets you and you spend the rest of eternity in some sort of eternal torment like perhaps you have to wait in a line at the DMV forever and the women in front of you is holding some crying infant and it just goes on and on and on until you just can't take the noise anymore you finally go up to her to try to help calm the baby down but when the women turns around SHE HAS NO EYES and then the baby turns out to just be a giant disembodied eyeball but oh god why does it have teeth and then it leaps at your face and now YOU have no eyes and STILL have to wait in the DMV line forever and when you finally get to the front the women at the counter is like "sorry this is the line for people with eyes" and now you have to go wait in this other line full of people with no eyes.

All the best,
Aknerd

danielo
offline
danielo
1,773 posts
Peasant

Dear blk2860,

Burn it. Burn it all.
Joking...

But like a little kid feel safer with a toy sword under his pillow, get somethink like this too. As a paranoied person myseelf, i have a half spear back home (the perfect wepone for the coward peasent) and a M-16 under my pillow at the bed in the base. And i always walk with 2 clips in my pants (the rule say you have to carry 1).

Another thing you can do (plus to the thing befor) is learnong on your local woods. What animals live ther, the local folklore and so on. Knowledge is power. Espeicely when you know the supposed weakness pf this demon crying baby women with no face thingy.

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