ForumsArt, Music, and WritingGrowing Invisible (poem)

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NoNameC68
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NoNameC68
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I wrote this poem in the format of a song (I use repeating lines). Tell me what you think. I may add onto/change this poem in the future.

Everybody, look at me,
don't you see,
this child?

Doesn't know what its like,
we don't even look alike.

Everybody, look at me,
don't you see,
this boy?

Not a dream or a care,
nor a life of despair.

Faces, they wonder,
past me, can't you see?
My life is just different,
no matter how I change.
You always, it seemed,
looked down on me.
I look for the day,
I can finally be free.

Everybody, eyes on me,
can't you see,
this young man?

Always sleeping and weeping,
his soul, its seeping

Everybody, dont look at me,
can you see,
this monster?

Betrayal and denial,
they took away his smile.

Faces, they wonder,
past me, can't you see?
My life is just different,
no matter how I change.
You always, it seemed,
looked down on me.
I look for the day,
when I can finally be free.

  • 14 Replies
kingryan
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kingryan
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So Sad. You spelt Invisible wrong!

Quite good...

KingRyan

ubertuna
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ubertuna
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I fixed it for him. And yes, it is very good.

kingryan
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kingryan
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ARgh! It used to be spelt wrong, now it is spelt right! What is happeneing!


KingRyan

Lige
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Lige
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I believe you also spelled wander wrong. I liked it though. I wish I could write poetry.

ubertuna
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ubertuna
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It's... DARK MAGICKS!!!

kingryan
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kingryan
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ARGHY!!!! I knew it! Ubertuna's a witch! Burn the witch! Burn the Witch!

First the evil white cat...now Dark Magic...what next...signs of the Apocolypse?

KingRyan

Lige
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Lige
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my eyeballs just fell out... should I be alarmed?

NoNameC68
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NoNameC68
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Ok... well I guess I shall let you all know that I failed every single spelling test I had from 4th-8th grade. So please leave my spelling alone (I have no idea why, but I am fairly good at writing despite the spelling errors) >.<

crazynaitor
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crazynaitor
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Its good but this topic seems more like is Ubertuna a Witch?

ubertuna
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ubertuna
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All I did was fix a typo

Lige
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Lige
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well... umm now my skin is falling off... I wouldn't normally have a problem with that, but you know, it's hard to get a date when you're spewing blood everywhere.

kingryan
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kingryan
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Ubertuna isn't a witch. He's Voldemort. He has a Pet Snake! He does Dark Magic...everything leads to this.

Burn him...

Good Poem!

Master_Women
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Master_Women
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Ha ha KingRyan I think your right I better run before I see his ugly face.

Nice poem though NoName!

firetail_madness
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firetail_madness
20,901 posts
2,710

Very good poem, you can feel it in you...

Did you write it yourself?

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