Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The best story ever! (Epic Sarcasm)
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it waz a normal dai in the ofice of the big robot leder "Rob 5500" he was mayking plans 4 destroying the bad robtz. "tayke of evry playne" rob sayd. "yuo now wat you doeng" said sekond in comand. "move playne" sed rob.
To Be Continued...
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nothing happen. "WTF? what happen? why no boom?" rob sweared. "i don't know." cernal sanders said. "cernal sanders you fail again!" rob shouted "I'm sorry please give me another chance" cernal sanders said to rob. "kk" rob replied. "everyone i has a plan!" said west "what's the plan?" asked rob. "we can set off the bomb if we shoot it!" "oh yeah i forgot about that" said cernal sanders. "ok cernal sanders you have to shoot the bomb! here is a wepon it has one bullet. you must shoot it and then 'boom' will happen. ok?" said rob "kk" said cernal sanders
T B C!
Cernal sanders went back to the bad place he left behind him before 'boom' didn't happen. "ok i must not miss!" cernal sanders was standing 25 meters away. "Hey! Who are you? And what are you doing here!?" enemy robot came and shouted! "i will gonna asplode you! you will die!" "I don't think so!" enemy robot took out AK-47 and shot cernal sanders in the chest like 'BANG BANG BANG' cernal sanders.....died. "NO!" rob shouted in agony. all were watching the monitor that cernal sanders camera was on "cernal sanders is dead! *sniff* he might have been annoying but he was my friend!" rob started to cry, and everyone was amazed. they never saw their leader crying oil. "it's okay rob. we will avenge his death." west reassured him. suddenly the air felt different "I'm gonna kill that bast***!" Rob wasn't joking. He planned on killing the enemy leader and watching him die. Everything was now serious...
Two parts I truely enjoyed :
Everything was now serious...
and
suddenly the air felt different
Those two made me laugh out loud!:P
But I don't like the boom and bang bang bang and stuff, just isn't working, avoid it!
"Okay men. We've all been training for this mission all of our lithium battery lives. Once we get in there we will not retreat. If you need to prepare for the mission do it now." Rob said to all his men. "Boy. Everything is tense Rob." West said "I know. But this war has to stop! They've already killed Cernal Sanders! Who are they gonna kill next!? You!?" Rob banged his hand on the table, and West was silent. "We can't afford more of our men to die we only have 19 people left including us! I am not gonna let any of my men die! Even if it means sacrificing myself to the enemy!" All of his men watching in silence. "Bravo Rob! Bravo!" A mysterious robot appeared on one of the monitors. "Who are you?" Rob asked "That's not important but you need to listen to me." The robot said. "Okay I'm listening." "Good listen if you meet me alone at the scrapyard at midnight, I'll make you a deal you can't refuse." Rob was thinking about what he said. "Okay I'll meet you there, but I'm bringing my gun just in case." Rob told the robot. "Oh you'll need it!" "Rob transmission with the robot was glitched up." West said. "I'm going to the scrapyard to see what's going down." "But it's not even midnight!" "That's why I'm going to see what's there before hand.
TBC
I'm Going to put all the stories together from now on to make things easier to read.
Episode 1:Beginning
it waz a normal dai in the ofice of the big robot leder "Rob 5500" he was mayking plans 4 destroying the bad robtz. "tayke of evry playne" rob sayd. "yuo now wat you doeng" said sekond in comand. "move playne" sed rob.
Episode 2:First Encounter
teh playns go t to the bad robtz adn then they fite. the robotz shooted liekj "bang bnag bang!" the bad robotsd falled down again the robotz shot the bad robotz. rob came on his motocicel and thne sed "yo aer bad robotsd! if yuo dont serender! yuo will kiil you. the bad robot guy sed" My goodness! You speak very bad english! Please, allow me to teach you properly!" rob sed bak to him " yuo cant folo me im to smaert!" bad robt say "We'll see about that!" adn tok a wepon form his pokit!
Epsiode 3:Escaped
teh bad robot shooted adn hit rob " Ah hah! I hit you! Now what are you going to do?" rob said to him " my freinds are coming and then they will kil you and then yuo will die!" " I See. Well that's a bit of a problem." and then he took a flying thing that made "woosh woosh woosh" and he flied away. " you maybe gone now but i will find you."
Episode 4:We Must Set Them up the Bomb
rob went back to his base and said "robots we lost him. it will be hard to find him again." sekond in comand said to rob "we can find him. we just have to look good" "yes that is a good idea" rob said back to the person taht spoke to him" "i can liek pie" said cernal sanders. "you fail" said sekond in comand. "sekond in comand" said rob. "yes? what?" said sekond in comand again. "i will call you west becauz it's better than sekond in comand." "kk" said west who was sekond in comand before.
"okay now that we are finished, we must start looking! cernal sanders!"
"what happen?" cernal sanders said back to him. "we must set them up the bomb!" said rob
Episode 5:The Bomb has been set.
cernal sanders went to the enemys base and set them up the bomb. he said to him self "they have no chance to survive. the must make their time." he went from the base and left behind the place behind him. When he got back to rob's base rob said "what happen?" "i set them up the bomb" cernal sanders said also. "good" said rob "rob we must blow up the bomb!" west said "kk i know where is the detonation button cernal sanders?" "here it is" cernal sanders gave rob teh button to make bomb make "boom". "ok let's own the bad robots" rob pressed the button and then...
Episode 6:A New Plan
nothing happen. "WTF? what happen? why no boom?" rob sweared. "i don't know." cernal sanders said. "cernal sanders you fail again!" rob shouted "I'm sorry please give me another chance" cernal sanders said to rob. "kk" rob replied. "everyone i has a plan!" said west "what's the plan?" asked rob. "we can set off the bomb if we shoot it!" "oh yeah i forgot about that" said cernal sanders. "ok cernal sanders you have to shoot the bomb! here is a wepon it has one bullet. you must shoot it and then 'boom' will happen. ok?" said rob "kk" said cernal sanders
Episode 7:Turning Point
Cernal sanders went back to the bad place he left behind him before 'boom' didn't happen. "ok i must not miss!" cernal sanders was standing 25 meters away. "Hey! Who are you? And what are you doing here!?" enemy robot came and shouted! "i will gonna asplode you! you will die!" "I don't think so!" enemy robot took out AK-47 and shot cernal sanders in the chest like 'BANG BANG BANG' cernal sanders.....died. "NO!" rob shouted in agony. all were watching the monitor that cernal sanders camera was on "cernal sanders is dead! *sniff* he might have been annoying but he was my friend!" rob started to cry, and everyone was amazed. they never saw their leader crying oil. "it's okay rob. we will avenge his death." west reassured him. suddenly the air felt different "I'm gonna kill that bast***!" Rob wasn't joking. He planned on killing the enemy leader and watching him die. Everything was now serious...
Episode 8:Preparations
"Okay men. We've all been training for this mission all of our lithium battery lives. Once we get in there we will not retreat. If you need to prepare for the mission do it now." Rob said to all his men. "Boy. Everything is tense Rob." West said "I know. But this war has to stop! They've already killed Cernal Sanders! Who are they gonna kill next!? You!?" Rob banged his hand on the table, and West was silent. "We can't afford more of our men to die we only have 19 people left including us! I am not gonna let any of my men die! Even if it means sacrificing myself to the enemy!" All of his men watching in silence. "Bravo Rob! Bravo!" A mysterious robot appeared on one of the monitors. "Who are you?" Rob asked "That's not important but you need to listen to me." The robot said. "Okay I'm listening." "Good listen if you meet me alone at the scrapyard at midnight, I'll make you a deal you can't refuse." Rob was thinking about what he said. "Okay I'll meet you there, but I'm bringing my gun just in case." Rob told the robot. "Oh you'll need it!" "Rob transmission with the robot was glitched up." West said. "I'm going to the scrapyard to see what's going down." "But it's not even midnight!" "That's why I'm going to see what's there before hand.
Lol, this is that guy with Halo: Halos in Space XD
Anyway, this is, and interesting story. I'll be coming back to this thread...it can be funny.
Episode 1:Beginning
it waz a normal dai in the ofice of the big robot leder "Rob 5500" he was mayking plans 4 destroying the bad robtz. "tayke of evry playne" rob sayd. "yuo now wat you doeng" said sekond in comand. "move playne" sed rob.
Episode 2:First Encounter
teh playns go t to the bad robtz adn then they fite. the robotz shooted liekj "bang bnag bang!" the bad robotsd falled down again the robotz shot the bad robotz. rob came on his motocicel and thne sed "yo aer bad robotsd! if yuo dont serender! yuo will kiil you. the bad robot guy sed" My goodness! You speak very bad english! Please, allow me to teach you properly!" rob sed bak to him " yuo cant folo me im to smaert!" bad robt say "We'll see about that!" adn tok a wepon form his pokit!
Epsiode 3:Escaped
teh bad robot shooted adn hit rob " Ah hah! I hit you! Now what are you going to do?" rob said to him " my freinds are coming and then they will kil you and then yuo will die!" " I See. Well that's a bit of a problem." and then he took a flying thing that made "woosh woosh woosh" and he flied away. " you maybe gone now but i will find you."
Episode 4:We Must Set Them up the Bomb
rob went back to his base and said "robots we lost him. it will be hard to find him again." sekond in comand said to rob "we can find him. we just have to look good" "yes that is a good idea" rob said back to the person taht spoke to him" "i can liek pie" said cernal sanders. "you fail" said sekond in comand. "sekond in comand" said rob. "yes? what?" said sekond in comand again. "i will call you west becauz it's better than sekond in comand." "kk" said west who was sekond in comand before.
"okay now that we are finished, we must start looking! cernal sanders!"
"what happen?" cernal sanders said back to him. "we must set them up the bomb!" said rob
Episode 5:The Bomb has been set.
cernal sanders went to the enemys base and set them up the bomb. he said to him self "they have no chance to survive. the must make their time." he went from the base and left behind the place behind him. When he got back to rob's base rob said "what happen?" "i set them up the bomb" cernal sanders said also. "good" said rob "rob we must blow up the bomb!" west said "kk i know where is the detonation button cernal sanders?" "here it is" cernal sanders gave rob teh button to make bomb make "boom". "ok let's own the bad robots" rob pressed the button and then...
Episode 6:A New Plan
nothing happen. "WTF? what happen? why no boom?" rob sweared. "i don't know." cernal sanders said. "cernal sanders you fail again!" rob shouted "I'm sorry please give me another chance" cernal sanders said to rob. "kk" rob replied. "everyone i has a plan!" said west "what's the plan?" asked rob. "we can set off the bomb if we shoot it!" "oh yeah i forgot about that" said cernal sanders. "ok cernal sanders you have to shoot the bomb! here is a wepon it has one bullet. you must shoot it and then 'boom' will happen. ok?" said rob "kk" said cernal sanders
Episode 7:Turning Point
Cernal sanders went back to the bad place he left behind him before 'boom' didn't happen. "ok i must not miss!" cernal sanders was standing 25 meters away. "Hey! Who are you? And what are you doing here!?" enemy robot came and shouted! "i will gonna asplode you! you will die!" "I don't think so!" enemy robot took out AK-47 and shot cernal sanders in the chest like 'BANG BANG BANG' cernal sanders.....died. "NO!" rob shouted in agony. all were watching the monitor that cernal sanders camera was on "cernal sanders is dead! *sniff* he might have been annoying but he was my friend!" rob started to cry, and everyone was amazed. they never saw their leader crying oil. "it's okay rob. we will avenge his death." west reassured him. suddenly the air felt different "I'm gonna kill that bast***!" Rob wasn't joking. He planned on killing the enemy leader and watching him die. Everything was now serious...
Episode 8:Preparations
"Okay men. We've all been training for this mission all of our lithium battery lives. Once we get in there we will not retreat. If you need to prepare for the mission do it now." Rob said to all his men. "Boy. Everything is tense Rob." West said "I know. But this war has to stop! They've already killed Cernal Sanders! Who are they gonna kill next!? You!?" Rob banged his hand on the table, and West was silent. "We can't afford more of our men to die we only have 19 people left including us! I am not gonna let any of my men die! Even if it means sacrificing myself to the enemy!" All of his men watching in silence. "Bravo Rob! Bravo!" A mysterious robot appeared on one of the monitors. "Who are you?" Rob asked "That's not important but you need to listen to me." The robot said. "Okay I'm listening." "Good listen if you meet me alone at the scrapyard at midnight, I'll make you a deal you can't refuse." Rob was thinking about what he said. "Okay I'll meet you there, but I'm bringing my gun just in case." Rob told the robot. "Oh you'll need it!" "Rob transmission with the robot was glitched up." West said. "I'm going to the scrapyard to see what's going down." "But it's not even midnight!" "That's why I'm going to see what's there before hand.
Episode 9:Reconnaissance
Rob arrived at the scrapyard. It was 8PM. "I hate scrapyards." Rob spoke to himself. "They're always so gloomy,dirty and they stink." Rob continued talking to himself. "I really have to stop talking to myself." He trudged along through all the scrap and junk, until he heard someone talking. "So as soon as Rob gets here we're gonna show him his old friend Cernal Sanders!" "He will get a shock! Hahahaha!" Rob couldn't believe his noise receivers. Was Cernal Sanders really alive? Was he still dead? Did they repair him? Hundreds of questions whizzed through his memory center. "Let me go!" Rob heard Cernal Sanders talking. "Get me out of here!" Fueled with rage, Rob pulled out his Magnum and jumped out from the car he was hiding behind and shot one of the robots in the chest destroying his lithium battery. The other one pulled out 2 Deagles and tried to shoot Rob but kept missing. "This guy's got bad aim" Rob thought. He soon ran out of bullets and Rob decided that he had an unfair advantage. Rob threw his magnum on the floor. All this happened in about 5 seconds. "Rob!?
Damn! I never thought I'd see you again!" Cernal Sanders shouted with joy. "It's good to see you too buddy!" The other robot threw his Deagles on the floor and raised his fists. Rob dashed towards the robot and gave him a jab to the face. The robot countered with a hook to the chest. Rob gave him a kick to the chest which gave the robot a dent, and that dent must have his the batteries because he just powered down after that kick. "Nice one Rob now can you get me out of here?" Cernal Sanders asked. "Of course I will! Do you think I'd just kill the bad guys and leave you here?" Rob Joked. "Oh yeah! How stupid of me!" rob untied Cernal Sanders and Cernal Sanders was overjoyed! "Now come on Cernal Sanders, The guys are gonna be happy to see you." "Do we still have pie?" Asked Cernal Sanders. "I hope so." Said Rob "But we can't relax too much cuz' the war's not over yet."
Lol the seriousness is a weird turn of events... not trying to be harsh but your serious writting isn't perfect. If you want me to touch it up and make it sound better I can do that for you. Lol and trying to be serious when you say Cernel(it's spelt Colonel btw) is really really funny.
Thanks for the help Klaushouse and just for fun I'll let you write my tenth episode! Have fun with it!
Episode 10: Retreat (Guest episode by me, Klaushouse)
It was still dark and gloomy as Colonel Sanders and Rob set out for the headquarters. "Sh*t. They must've took my ride" Rob cussed as he searched for his Mecha Bike. Turning to the Colonel with the intent of a question his eyes were frightened by the what his sight beheld him. The panic on his face a mace Colonel Sanders turn around. He let out a gasp. Smoke and what seemed like faint fire coming from the headquarters. "Oh sh*t, this isn't good. We have to get back." Sanders responded with a quick nod as they searched the surrounding for transportation. But before they could secure any type of vehicle they saw something. Rob saw what he thought was a ship cascading across the edge of the planets atmosphere, but something that far away to look so big, it must've been the size of a small planet, it's impossible he thought. But his nightmare was soon acknowledged by the fact that Colonel Sanders could not keep his eyes away from this behemoth. Rob started to panic "A ship that size. They can't be planning to- it's impossible... they're going to glass the planet?!"
Colonel Sanders quickly replying. "No, they wouldn't do that. For it to be successful they'd have to strike the city completely or everyone would get away. And to destroy a city of that size would take a-" he was cut off by a flash of light so bright it blinded them for a few seconds. As the light faded and the incoming smoke clear they saw rumble of what once was the brilliant city they were beholding. Smoldering rocked flying for miles, some the size of minivans. Rob began to speak. "we have to go back, our allies! They were all there, we've got to save the sur-"
"Rob! Their all gone! We have to go. NOW!"
As the headed to the outskirts of the city, they found a house, covers in rubble and flesh. "Jesus Christ" Rob mustered under his breath. A silhouette of a man came into view and upon further inspection Rob found a man crushed under a boulder, an imperial marine. The marine, sensing a presence mustered up all his strength to speak, it was very scraggly. "Hello.. is..som-- someone there? I am Lieutenant Ca-" a harsh cough, full of blood. This man didn't have long to live. "Carlon Bransen, I.. I need to find Rob. Must warn him, please." Another cough of blood. "basement.. in the basement. Safety! He must.. he.." And with his final breath he let out one final word. Retreat. As Rob closed his eyes and took what was left of his dog tags. He waved for the Colonel to follow him. He dared not speak after what he had witnessed. In complete silence they climbed down to the basement through scraps of what used to be stairs. They hoped into a vessel and Rob brought it to life with ease. As it lifted off, it worked many calculations in quick succession. Cloak engaged, the vessel briskly took off towards space.
As they left the atmosphere, Rob looked down at what used to be his planet. Covered in clouds, a shower of lights coming down into the planet, raining down terror, different colored lights hit and with each came a consequent hole in the planet. "Something so evil, unbelievably it can look so beautiful... but, what do we do now?"
Colonel Sanders expressed his feelings to Rob, and Rob, with the hint of regret in his voice said:
"The only thing we can do, Retreat. They have won. Our headquarters. Our allies, ammunition, vehicles, firepower, everything but our freedom and we barely escaped with that. There is no winning anymore, we are no longer fighting for our planet or our people. We are fighting to stay alive, barely living off whatever we can get... I hope this ship knows wheres it's going. This guy knew we were coming, and he had plans for us.. all we can do now is hope."
As Rob said his final words and the plannet grew furter and further away. It disapeared, along with all of Rob's hope.
To Be.. continued.
Sorry Klaus, I know you did a quick job but seeing as you've...proofread, I've got my own proofreading to do I'm not going to nitpick, but there are a couple of common errors that really get under my bonnet! So it's time for:
ERRORS THAT MAKE STROP STROPPY:
* Substituting "Their" for "They're" and vice-versa.
* Not knowing that "it's" only means "it is" and not "belonging to it"- that would be "its".
Probably the two most common grammatical errors on teh internetz.
Sorry Strop. I half assed this while look at the olympics. Truth be told I did not look at the screen once while writing this and I am just glad things are spelt right. Sometimes I start writing with my hands one position to the right and everything is gibberish. Anyways I always mistake their and they're cause I don't pay attention...
If you want to nitpick look at the first three stories! :P
Mine is just watered down jokes! XD
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