ForumsArt, Music, and WritingMy Story

43 8089
gman1000
offline
gman1000
979 posts
610

I was inspired while talking to firetail_madness.

Here is something I whipped up in a few minutes. I will add more later.

Prolouge

A piercing shriek erupted from the maw of a beast, racing through a village. Men cowered in fear. Women in children held each other for comfort. There was no escape. It would come and hunt them down. A sudden breeze blew out all of the village lanterns. The only light left was the full moon. Its light was a source of pain for the villagers. The moon seemed so close that they might be able to escape from the horrendous, yet it was so far away. It taunted them.

They knew that soon they would be stripped of all life. Taken away from the very things they knew and loved. They would instantly be gone from this life, into whatever awaited them after. They said their last prayers.

Another shriek filled the village. Yes, tonight they would be gone. There was no hope. The Krakzah were coming.

  • 43 Replies
firetail_madness
offline
firetail_madness
20,902 posts
2,710

Wow, nice beginning!

It really juices you up. Probably better then mine.

gman1000
offline
gman1000
979 posts
610

Thank you very much. I will continue to write this in my spare time.

firetail_madness
offline
firetail_madness
20,902 posts
2,710

By, the way, what are the Krakzah?!

firetail_madness
offline
firetail_madness
20,902 posts
2,710

Oh, never mind then...

gman1000
offline
gman1000
979 posts
610

That is for me to know, and for you to find out LATER.

thingthingfreak
offline
thingthingfreak
1,552 posts
510

They sound like the Kalkara from the Rangers Apperntice books

Ricador
offline
Ricador
3,761 posts
1,710

Looks good.

Can't wait.

It pumps you up with the suspensish feel :P

Ricador
offline
Ricador
3,761 posts
1,710

Subconsciously. I will change the name.


Well does it really matter? As long as it is not exactly the same...

gman1000
offline
gman1000
979 posts
610

Oops, sorry. Man, I accidently made it sound like that. Subconsciously. I will change the name.

firetail_madness
offline
firetail_madness
20,902 posts
2,710

Man, you haven't explained anything about the main character yet.

gman1000
offline
gman1000
979 posts
610

No, I haven't. That is just the PROLOUGE.

gman1000
offline
gman1000
979 posts
610

A little more. Not done with Chapter 1.

Prologue

A piercing shriek erupted from the maw of a beast, racing through a village. Men cowered in fear. Women and children held each other for comfort. There was no escape. It would come and hunt them down until the last drop of life was gone. A sudden breeze blew out all of the village lanterns. The only light left was the full moon. Its light was a source of pain for the villagers. The moon seemed so close that they might be able to escape from the horrendous, yet it was so far away. It taunted them.

They knew that soon they would be stripped of all life. Taken away from the very things they knew and loved. They would instantly be gone from this life, into whatever awaited them after. They said their last prayers.

Another shriek filled the village. Yes, tonight they would be gone. There was no hope. The Ztynak were coming.

Chapter I

Jaecar awoke with a start. He sat on his straw bed panting, sweat dripping from his forehead. He had had a restless night, tossing and turning in his bed. Today was the day of his sixteenth birthday. The day he would become a man was here. He looked around at his room, his straw bed, his shelf, his odd collection of rocks that had grown over the years. He crept down the stairs, remembering. There was the dent in the door he had placed while wrestling his brother. But today, today he was leaving this place. He was going to start anew. This was his day.

As he crept down the stairs and into the kitchen the smell of bacon, fine meat, and potatoes filled the air. This was the one thing he was going to miss, breakfasts cooked by his father.

âGood morning son! How was your night?â

*Note
Ztynak is pronounced by making the widening your tounge and making and sort of slurring an "s". The "y" is pronounced by saying "e", and the rest is how it sounds.

shermzx
offline
shermzx
573 posts
185

MORE!i'll be waiting for more updates.
sounds like a potential story.
comparable to many of the books i have read before
the words you used were strong and descriptive

shermzx
offline
shermzx
573 posts
185

Ztynak rhymes with PEANUT
lol sry no offends

gman1000
offline
gman1000
979 posts
610

Not really. It is very hard to describe its sound, and that was the best I could do. To truely show you, I would have to meet you in person.

Showing 1-15 of 43