ForumsWEPRBreakfastarianism

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Devoidless
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Devoidless
3,675 posts
Jester

I have come to show you all the truth about our lives, the universe the end of the world. As of yet, there is only a sparse section of the holy text done. But more is to come! Have faith. Join today, and learn the truth!


The Book of Breakfastarianism

Commandments:
And the Lord spoke thusly:

1) Thou shall not have any meals before breakfast.
2) Thou shall not forget to eat breakfast and thou shalt keep it delicious.
3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts.
4) Thou shall not steal food from your neighbors plate at breakfast.
5) Thou shall not covet your neighbors breakfast nor his seat in the booth by the window.


The Beggining

In the beggining of time, there was nothing. But then came forth a mighty rumbling.
Twas the stomach of the Lord, and He was famished. So He spoke. And He did say "Let
there be light!" And the universe was washed with light, for the Lord could not make
His meal in the dark. He then made all the stars in the sky and all the planets
surrounding them because He thought they looked very nice. In doing so, He made a
cluster of stars and planets he named the Milkyway for it sounded tasty. This galaxy
became His favourite, so He made a decision: He going to create a planet with man upon
it so they too could see the beauty he Made. After seven days and nights, the Lord was
done making the planet and man. And the Lord did grin. And the Lord then did feast.
He ate the skies, stars and the planets. He then spoke "This way, I shall always be able to
watch over and protect man along with the universe around him." Feeling accomplished and
satiated, the Lord then went on His way.

  • 384 Replies
xXpINk_eYEXx
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xXpINk_eYEXx
15 posts
Nomad

is this like a club or something?
if it is then how do you join?
if its not then... WTF!?!?!
french toast for the win

Cenere
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Cenere
13,658 posts
Jester

It is a religion. You - join by believing in breakfast.

tempo013
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tempo013
581 posts
Nomad

if it is a religion then what/who do i pray to?

ps. i had a deliciously large and wholesome breakfast this morning.

GreatestSoloEver
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GreatestSoloEver
1,361 posts
Nomad

Breakfast is evil! I believe that it fills you up and there is no room for lunch!!!

empyrion
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empyrion
79 posts
Nomad

lol, very creative

Fyrefox
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Fyrefox
2,126 posts
Blacksmith

I agree with GSE...although it makes it sound demonic.

ShintetsuWA
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ShintetsuWA
3,176 posts
Nomad

You believe in the religion by pray to:

-- Apostle Kellogg

-- Farmer Brown

-- Priestess Butterworth

-- The Holy Quaker

-- Uncle Ben

Worship, respect, and cherish each of these Prophets' creations and you shall have a good breakfast each and every day. If you don't, you just didn't pray hard enough >

howlett
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howlett
2,278 posts
Nomad

This seems kinda cool, can I join?

SoldierOfDeath
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SoldierOfDeath
35 posts
Nomad

http://images.etsy.com/all_images/b/b90/9c3/il_fullxfull.8528362.jpg

Breakfastarianism for life

howlett
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howlett
2,278 posts
Nomad

Does anyone look at this topic anymore?I wanna know if I can join, can I?

Cenere
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Cenere
13,658 posts
Jester

You can always join this religion. Just believe in breakfast and the lord of breakfast.

ChopstickBoB
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ChopstickBoB
142 posts
Nomad

Hmm... I'm not entirely sure what to... huh. Breakfastarianism. I like breakfast... Bowl of oatmeal with a little honey every day. Except Saturday. Thats the turkey and cheddar omelete day.

Snakebite
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Snakebite
996 posts
Nomad

https://shanalogic.com/item_images/384_amy_breakfast_full.jpg

I've been converted to the breakfast people!

IAMMERCY
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IAMMERCY
305 posts
Nomad

Breakfastarianism...sounds like a bad disease

miguelin11
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miguelin11
2,905 posts
Nomad

I don't get this "religion" but can I join?

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