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7.5/10 is a score I can live with, but could you please explain why?

It was night. The buildings were unclear, the air was low, the street was black. It was night.
"Man, I hate night. But I hate day even more..."
The small silhouette dashing through the darkness was slowly advancing to the graveyard. It was a small, dirty place with just about 20 or 30 funeral stones and a low fence that was protecting them. The shadow entered the graveyard, and then started seeking a certain grave. He found it, in the back, next to a tree. Then, revealing a shovel, he started digging. 2 meters below the surface, there was a small coffin that the man pulled out and opened. Inside there was a skeleton. The man took a small finger bone and then buried the coffin back where it was.
"All that done, but the difficult part starts now."
THE END

ok now part two.

The small silhouette left the graveyard as strange and fast as it came. The rhythm of his shoes hitting the street was the only hearable sound. The man was running in straight line, to the town's edge.
"This is it, the moment of truth. Well...I hope nothing goes wrong..."
He left the town. Outside, there was just the highway and an endlessly long road. Pretty insecure and anxious, the man headed to the highway. With every step, he appeared to be weaker and weaker, until in the end he felt. Under him there was a blood pool. A much larger silhouette appeared from behind a tree.
"silly old man. You really thought you could turn on me? Lame..."
The figure opened the man's fist and crushed the small finger bone, and then opened its huge wings and started flying into the dark sky.
THE END...or not?

hey, no one else?

I am actually writing this for Thoad's Comp....

It isn't finished yet...

Well here I was. Standing at the door to reality. Between me and the world of anime was only a shimmering screen of glass. My nose touched the center and ripples spread to the edges of the glass. I pushed my head through - the sensation like going through a curtain of water, yet not really wet. I stepped through the glass into the world of anime...

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

The alarm woke me from my dream and brought me back to my life. My horrible, horrible life. I didn't want to go to school, but I knew that I had to. I don't really see the point of school...why should I go somewhere where my prime role is to be a target, a target of abuse, insults and rocks, sticks and other light projectiles? What was the point of going somewhere where anything that was good in my life was taken away from me?

I wandered down to the kitchen and sat myself down at the table - pulling the box of generic corn flakes over to me pouring them into a bowl. I sat and munched my cornflakes with venegance, with each flake being something different which I hated. I finished my breakfast and reluctantly picked up my bag and wandered out the door; ignoring my mothers pleas for me to get my hair out of my eyes.

Cool. I've become a writer of sortss. Part time, anyway. The problem is, I suffer from immense writers block. So yeah. I'm kind of making the story up as i go along, so bear with me. But, I've had the idea in my head for a long while.


Prolougue

My name is Jack. Pretty generic name, right? Yeah. I'm not generic at all, though. Not by a long shot. My full name is Jack Benjamin Ray, descended from the great explorer Clifford Ray III. Fairly impressive history, I'd say. This story takes place a little before the strange events of November 14 2007, and, in fact, describes how I actually get to that day, in which I discover that... Well, I'll let you figure it out.

The Crash

"Ugh. I hate driving in the rain", I think to myself. Indeed, it was raining, and indeed, he did hate driving in it. But he had to. Some corporate bigwig is celebrating his fourth - count 'em - fourth wedding at his house. A gala is, apparently, necessary.
I pull into the next lane, gear shift up, cruise control.
I sigh.
Driving in the rain is, in fact, one of my least favorite situations. Granted, it's not that high up on the list of least favorite situations, but it's still there. Oh, my exit is coming up.
Gear shift down, cruise control off, tap brake.
I sigh again.
I pull into the left lane. Oh wait, that's not the right exit, crap.
Pull right, gear shift up, cruise control on. Actually, it's raining. Gear shift down. Lightly tap brake. There we go.
I sigh again. I need to stop talking to myself. But I won't. Anyway, yeah. My favorite, that is, least favorite situation, realisticly at least, would have to be... trapped in a room with poisonous snakes. No, scratch that. Poisoous bugs, of some sort. Most guys actually aren't afraid of bugs. Especially ones named Jack. But I am. I mean, it's not a phobia or anyth-- Oh,here's my exit.
He pulls into the left lane, slows down, and, this is where things get interesting, a fireball explodes in front of him, making a large crater in the road. He swerves to avoid it: that is, the fireball, the resulting explosion, and te crater. He avoids the first two, but the smoldering crater is larger than he expected, making him fall into it, and flip. His tiny sports car is't able to handle all this.
It flips.
It flips sideways, barrel rolling into the street. Four, five, six, it keeps going. Bam! it stops. Jack is dazed. He hears car horns honking, tires screeching.
He regains consciousness, somewhat. He looks around. He feels heat. Fire. He hears spalshing. Water? No. He smells something. Gaasoline.
This revelation sparks him out of his reverie. He looks around fast, surveying his surroundings. He's trapped on his stomach, legs pinned beneath the remains of his back seat. Luckily, he was wearing his seatbelt. He looks closer. They're pinned, but not by much. He could probably pry it open with something...
Hee surveys his surroundings again, but for a different reason. There; a metal bar. Looks as if it broke off of the frame of his tiny little car. He attempts to pry his legs free. It doesn't work. He panics. He starts again. it's starting to wokr this time. He's almost got it. There!
He's got one leg out. He's working on the other. Ok. He looks around again. He knows he doesn't have time. The driver side window is crushed, but the passenger side window looks as if he can squeeze through. He tries to move. The seatbelt! He tries to unbuckle it, but it too is crushed in this cage of twisted metal, plastic. He remembers his knife. it's in the glovebox. he reches across. He grabs it. Opens the glovebox, grabs the knife, cuts the seatbelt. Crawla across on his belly, gets his head out of his window, shoulders, torso. Shins. Ankles, feet. There!
He tries to stand up, but is immedietly brought back down to earth for a nice warm hug. He can't move his left leg. He can barely move his right. He tries to stand again, this time, leaning on his right. Ahead of him is thhe gaurdrail, leading into oncoming traffic. He's going to try and jump over it.
KABOOM! There's a deafening explosion behind him. He's lifted into the air. It feels good, the wind rushing past your face, into your hair. The feeling of weightlessness. his eyes are closed, for reasons he can't explain. He opens thes, and looks around.
Blood! there's blood all around him. He realizes with a shock, an understandable one, the his body is missing from the waist downwards. He's about to scream, when Earth gives him another hug, twice as big as the first.
He groans, sits up. Well, hoists himself up with his armos. He looks up, hears the honk of a big rig, sees the grill of a big rig, and it's all 3 - no two - NO! one foot from his nose. He shuts his eys tight, as the sound grows louder... louder... and then he hears nothing.

THE END

For now anyway. Commentwss plz.

~spoon

Pretty good. . .but the tense is a bit cumbersome, and the perspective switches, and talking to the reader is generally a taboo. . .but it's okay. I'd say 6/10.