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The Way of Moderation has ended (page 566)

Posted Mar 10, '10 at 2:44pm



3,293 posts

You mean to say.... that... you... don't... have... to... rap?!
Well, as long as Strop does it doesn't matter.

Firefly's the instigator, not the rhyme creator.

Nope, I have no idea how Firefly would even remotely be embarrassed if he had to anyway lol.

Of course, you are correct. He would, as they say in South London, 'murk the scene'. Actually scratch that, it's phrases like that which lead to the aformentioned embarassment.

I think I'll stop talking for a while.

Posted Mar 10, '10 at 5:27pm



5,718 posts

A New Tone

Crimson had been challenged with what could only be called his worst fear...rap. He was not going to stand for supporting such a genre, so he had to look for another main stream genre that was at least better then rap. He looked through his archives finding only the Legend of Brutal, and or course such a genre is dead so he would not be able to pull something like that off, but there was still hope in a still alive genre that was almost just as good:

Second wave of American Tween Melodic Rap'll have to do!

He brought to the stage magic self-playing guitars, drums, and scratch-table(or whatever its called) and decided to try to keep as close to the metal part as possible...

[Song starts with black metal voice]
I heard the screams from my keep
Preparing to defend it like Helms Deep
I grabbed my boots, my cloak, my blade
only to find out there was no need for aid
The source of the commotion was an ad
One that for the first time wasn't half-bad
I gazed at the wall of ink, till my eyes turned pink
It was a competition of power
One from which I could not cower
The chance to feed the blades taint
To use the spammers blood as paint
So I grabbed my blade and was on my way,
except the challenge was not on this day
so I waited and trained for what was to come
training myself till my hands went numb...[voice goes normal]ok well maybe not
[changes back]
but still I trained unless you forgot,for future foes or at least I thought
I entered the theater waiting to meet my fate, when Frank came in crashing late
Fire and flares shot through the air, as music played in an epic manner
shooting through the sky without a care underneath the Armor banner
Then came a yell "Queen Carlie" they screamed with a resounding shock
as I rubbed and polished my shiny red co-[voice changes again]blade....yeah
[voice changes back to black metal, but lowers to almost a whisper]
so I waited as the crowd got quiet
except for the trolls trying to start a riot
but besides them all was silent
not even the flamers wanted to get violent
I tried to listen to what she had to say
before my attention quickly started to decay
[Voice changes back to black metal]
then came Strop being formal as ever
he would tell us about our future endeavor
He then called to the stage Cenere who was quite withdrawn
repeating himself before he shuffled on
He told us that we needed to "register today"
before the crowd rushed the stage to his dismay
[insert random guitar solo here]
I waited in the Community Hall for the contest to begin
when a multi-colored ball almost hit my chin
more came around and hit me in the face
I tried cutting them down failing to my disgrace
I used cheap paintings each as a shield
before I noticed that the entrance was sealed
[goes schizo and changes into nerdy voice]
I backed into a corner and used magic made purely of math
to trick the balls and cut myself an open path
I quickly made my way to a secret exit and gave them the slip
I decided next I would wait in my keep for the time and made the trip
[changes back to black metal again]
Afterwords came a french hippo wanting revenge
it was his "boulanger " that he wanted to avenge
[turns back into nerd]
boasting about his heroics for whatever reason
before asking again of our apparent treason
After much bickering we eventually realized who did the crime
We eventually agreed that it was dudeguy who was covered in grime
[back to black metal...this must be confusing to keep up with huh?]
Then it was time to run the obstacle course
My only chance to beat it was a magic force
The same math that would win me beat round 3
would be turned into my own personal flying banshee
It was obvious though that this course was quite underhanded
I beat the challenge by the skin of my face on which I landed
but it was the next day that the true tragedy would occur
[Another guitar solo for good measure]
Zophia released a bomb that made the he's into her's
I immediately realized that I was somehow a chick
I knew for sure when I saw that I didn't have a di-[voice goes normal]...well you get the idea
[back to black metal, this is the last time I swear!]
I kept to myself only buying new jeans
until of the curse I was washed clean
Its been quite a story to tell my friend
but this is where the story comes to an end


As he stopped singing fireworks shot up out of nowhere, and he used the distraction to escape the stage while the ADD infected audience was distracted. He decided to back in with the crowd so that he could watch the rest of the show.


Posted Mar 10, '10 at 9:50pm



10,088 posts

This is it.

Chill stepped out into the area where the rap battle was taking place. It was a large, round room, with various stages set up everywhere. Chill had come prepared for the event - wearing nearly opaque golden glasses that he needed to look under to be able to see, plating his entire mouth in gold, buying a solid gold coffee cup to accompany him to the stage, and even blending some gold leaf into some water to maintain an aura of gold mist around him at all times. He also had a few gold bars cut into strips and fastened to one of his hoodies. His shoes were painted gold.

Stepping out onto the stage, he grabbed a microphone and introduced himself.

"Hey, I'm Chill, it's my pleasure to be performing for you guys today. I'll be detailing my achievements insofar for the Way of Moderation Trials!"

Chill cracked his knuckles, his spine, and his toes, and busted into the rap.

came in clad in the opposite of orange
just more mold from the internet sporange
wrote the first two lines as a rap unrelated
just offtopicness of the ASC upgraded

from the other AG I autoextradited
came to this one self-indicted
signed up as part of the WoM canon
taken by the wing like little Rhiannon

tearin' up dodgeball like I was from the Triassic
speed and smarts combined, cephalothoracic
destroyed half the Armusement Park, playin it bombastic
while I was trippin my balls off on senna and acid

I ain't the best in physical fitness
my muscles have a pitiful quizzical thickness
I got the strength and fluffy down of a permissible Cycnus
I'm not exactly a target of insatiable libidinousness

but when the steeplechase came around
I fell in line and held my ground
despite losing my pants halfway through
around 5th place is what I managed to accrue

and when I was crash-course ballistically emasculated
crazily, unexpectedly, unfairly effeminated
I became a master of retail recession suppresion
when I stopped buying crap, I caused a depression

and now I'm here, broadcastin' my skills
rappin' like a madman, handin' out thrills
light as a mite on a feather quill
I'm bustin' out cold, and my name is Chill!

He finished by throwing the microphone, which had become encased in ice, into the crowd. The air around him was so cold that his gold mist fell to the ground in a million shining beads, and the very air around him began to liquefy, only to evaporate again within less than a second. Stepping off the stage, he was so lightheaded that he had to freeze himself a walking stick, which he leaned on heavily. He was still smiling as he left the stage, only to fall down outside, scooting up against the wall, taking puffs from his asthma inhaler. An audience member, decked out in gang signs, walked out.

"Yo, what drug you doin' there? I haven't had a hit 'a' anything for a while, lemme knock some down."

"This is my asthma inhaler. You'd get higher from sniffing a rotting banana."

"D*mn man, when a guy wants a buzz . . . ."

Chill was visibly annoyed at this point, and so he froze the guy's mouth shut, forced himself to his feet, and walked off, back to Aristocrat Way.

If I could upload audio files, I'd totally share my phat gangsta beatboxing/faux-trumpet solo.


Posted Mar 12, '10 at 7:04pm



11,104 posts


Tournament news:

So far, I can count 6 entries posted. I see most of you also didn't make the edits I asked of you but by this stage, that's okay :P We're waiting on a couple more people to post (poisonarrow and goumas).

Also, I've sent out final calls to those who haven't. Of these, Parsat is the only one to have replied: he has withdrawn from the tournament (having accidentally inhaled a potentially fatal dose of chilli soup). Gametesta and Pixel, CHECK YOUR EMAIL!

I've finished three of my assignments, which means I only have three left. These being due on Monday, I expect we'll be finishing this round and moving to the next part shortly thereafter.


Posted Mar 12, '10 at 8:01pm



2,115 posts

Well, here we go, Frank thought. This is most likely going to blow my chances to hell...
Frank walked out onto the stage, slat glasses blinding him, digital clock swinging into his gut, and pants so on the ground he left a trail where the floor had been dusted. The crowd was already making fun of him. He hadn't expected this until he actually started to rap.
"Dammit..." He pulled his pants back to his waist, lifted his slat glasses so he could se the mic, and proceded towards it. Then someone in the audience threw a tomato. Frank dodged it, and turned angrily towards the culprit.
"Yer not supposed to throw till after I rap, jackass!" But they kept coming, and not just tomatos. Frank could've sworn he saw a watermellon in there. Giving a heavy sigh, Frank ran back stage and grabbed his bow. He knocked a special arrow he had picked up during his female experience, and fired it above the crowd. When it reached it's peak, it exploded in a rain of sparks and light, singing eyebrows and disorienting users all around.
"Okay, now that I have your attention, I'd like to begin." All were quiet, save for the starter of the food fight. "That means you too, jackass." Frank got his attention, in the form of another tomato. This time, though, he caught the projectile and returned it to it's sender. That shut him up.
"Now then..." Frank took a minute to go over the rap in his head, and then began.

I gotta be honest this contest's been hell
Goin' for the final eight but I ain't doin so well

I been shot down, horse punted, beaten with balls,
And that ain't even the start of it; you should se my scars

Pony boy here he got his tail in a twist
Over the crazy sh*t he got planned for our next sentence

And through all this I been strong I hven't given up
Cause eight's not enough, I'm goin' for Number One!

"You may now throw." And so the crowd did. Frank ran once more back stage, grabbed his cutlass, and jumped into the crowd. He herded off Jackass and a few others, and ran out the back door after them.

I may have put as little effort into this as I did my first entry. Woo, procrastination...

Back to the corner.


Posted Mar 12, '10 at 8:04pm



1,524 posts

THEN TAKE A BIG BITE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Idunno, lol. I was bored.


Posted Mar 12, '10 at 10:43pm



11,673 posts


Of these, Parsat is the only one to have replied: he has withdrawn from the tournament

Gah@! I was going to suggest "Jiang Jun Ling" (played on a rubber band) as entrance music for him (at some stage) (maybe just in the Bullman's head). :P

Posted Mar 12, '10 at 11:38pm



11,104 posts


The "played on a rubber band" automatically makes that suggestion epic. But right now he's in Armor Hospital on ventilatory support >_<

I will also note that despite the withdrawals, there are still more than 8 active participants! This means that some of you will be cut from the tournament itself (but not necessarily from the story) after this round and the next task.


Posted Mar 13, '10 at 12:40am



4,696 posts

I think it'd be cool if Strop was the final boss.

And is Parsat really in intensive care? Because my common sense is off lately.


Posted Mar 13, '10 at 12:52am



4,142 posts

Guys am I way to late to figure out what goes on in here or to do anything in it?

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