Time for a blonde joke... (at least I think this is how it goes)
So the police come to a little coffee shop because someone was killed there. The only eye-witness is a blonde girl that is listening to some music. The police officers try to ask her what happened but she wouldn't answer. So they took her headphones off and she fell down dead. The police officers were curious as to why until someone decided to listen to what was playing on her headphones. When they listened they heard a voice going, "Breath in. Breath out".
Even if that wasn't how the joke was supposed to be said it still got out the punchline... sorry for this post being so long.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!
It's funny because, you see, that's the most basic objective that was alreayd implied from the original question, and the answer fails to truly expand on the *unspoken* questions that you may have. What motives does the chicken have for crossing the street? Does the chicken need to get something, or is it running from something? Yet with such a simple answer, all you know is what you got. Funny, eh?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!
It's funny because, you see, that's the most basic objective that was alreayd implied from the original question, and the answer fails to truly expand on the *unspoken* questions that you may have. What motives does the chicken have for crossing the street? Does the chicken need to get something, or is it running from something? Yet with such a simple answer, all you know is what you got. Funny, eh?
I applaud you sir. You don't suck as hard as everyone else here.
Okay, here's another one. A man walks into a bar, and says, "Ow!"
Got you stumped? Let's shed some light on the situation. You see, normally upon hearing that someone walks into a bar without any preset clues that it is a monkey bar, you assume it is a bar for drinking. But since that has not been implied either, it leaves me a clear way of deciding the fate of the man, who could get wasted, run into walls and people, and crash into a tree and end up in the hospital due to a family history of drinking, or he could runinto a monkey bar. Both are painful, and both can be funny.
About half an hour ago, I farted. Sitting at my computer as I do most of the time, this is something I've grown used to, but this fart really fucking stank. Seriously, it was like eleven dead animals with shit mixed in. I was sick and tired of having farts smell so terrible. But did I do what the sensible person would do, and get up and wait for it to disperse, perhaps taking with me the resolution to change my diet to better influence my smells? No, I did not. I took what I considered to be the alternative route.
I stuck a mint up my ass.
I figured that, since it dissolves in saliva, my ass would server a fair job of dissolving it, thus lining the end of my colon with a nice minty extract and making my farts the kind that goirls would like to make out with. Somwhere along the line, however, I apparently didn't work out the way the dissolved mint would be absorbed into the walls.
Anyway, around 20 minutes passed, and I had to fart again. Being of a scientific mind, I decided this would be where I'd prove or disprove my hypothesis, so I let her rip.
Oh god. It wasn't a fart. It was a fucking butt sneeze.
The mint had been dissolved, that much was clear. But what was left was spearmint jelly mixed with shit, and it was all over my boxers and running down my leg as I ran to the bathroom. I cleaned up my boxers as best i could, scrubbed my leg, and tossed the underwear in the wash. So overall an embarrassing experience, and one I wouldn't want to relive.
However, it was worth the noting: That shit jelly smelled fucking awesome.
