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Vol. 1, Issue 1
Parsat's note: First line poetry has proven more interesting to read than I thought. It's interesting to see what spontaneous thoughts arise...in choosing poetry for this digest I don't look so intently at form as many of you are accustomed to me doing. Rather, I chose poems I thought displayed a real germ of thought and feeling. Included as always is a little critique; after all, I expect to give away something more substantial than bragging rights.
I mean no disrespect by reposting your poem here; I do it in the same regard in the same way that poems are reposted in a contest judging. I acknowledge that your poetry is your intellectual property. As no one objected to me making a digest, I have assumed that by posting in the thread you allow me to compile your poem if I see fit.
If it seems a few poets are mentioned more than others, consider that it was because they wrote more. If the poem's good, it goes here; I'm not a fan on putting caps on people's participation.
Poems:
Moonfairy
The mournful winter releases life
From its duty for a season,
Some view it as death,
But I view it as with a reason.
An excellent take on a great line by EnterOrion. There's a refreshing open-endedness in that last line that I really enjoy. Rather than insisting on explaining the paradoxical first line, it simply leaves one with the thought and then nothing else.
thisisnotanalt
hoping against a ninja here,
my motives and chances still unclear.
will I survive, and live in calm?
or be crushed by my fate as a ticking time bomb?
hoping against a ninja here,
it's coming down to my worst fear.
grab for the problem, try and try
but when you lose, don't sit and cry.
Fail line selection turned out win poem. Somehow it reminded me of the Ninja Kami point and click game. Good rhyme, and a freestyle flow to boot, something that's hard to do but is unmistakably alt.
pHacon
The tile reflected what I knew
For all I knew, trouble would brew.
Seeing myself, that aged reflection,
I realized what it was to find perfection.
I laughed after reading those last two lines: They flowed quite well for a first line, and it's a good spin on the old "Too smart for your own good".
aknerd
Would we put the weapon down?
And bow before the traitor's Crown?
Or raise our shield and brandish our sword
A new army for the true lord?
If only the choice was ours
And not left to the hateful stars.
For all our pride had long been drown
And so we lay the weapon down.
A polished poem (excepting the grammar error in the second to last line)...I'm still trying to figure out what belief this poem is espousing. Theism? Deism? Atheism? All these elements seem to be mixed until the last two lines.
Moonfairy
But why me?
I have always asked myself
What crime did I commit,
That would make me deserve this?
I was always true
To you
And then you left me out of the blue
Tears ran down my face
My heart was ripped in two
So here I am wondering
What Did I Do Wrong?
Trying to figure out
Why my life
Is a heart break song.
Simply worded, and using a cliche or two, but that last stanza really hits to the heart of anyone who's had their heart broken. That second-to-last short line in particular really builds up to that last line.
pHacon
Fields of Green
Stretching on forever
Like the joy of my heart,
They sing.
Skies of Blue
So high yet so deep
Where do you lead?
To happiness.
I picture Louis Armstrong's grovelly voice belting out "What a Wonderful World" while reading this poem. The ends of each stanza are especially comforting. Is it their length or their directness that make it so?
Avorne
Days passed
Under the sun
Your smooth touch
Upon my skin
Years passed
In the rain
I no longer
Feel your touch
Each line in each stanza is the complete opposite of each other. It only makes it all the more striking.
MoonFairy
Atop a cliff
I wonder
Staring down into the water
What it would feel like,
Those few seconds of free falling
Fear?
Adrenaline?
Terror?
Thrill?
I might just take the jump
To find out.
That finality in those last lines really does convey the feel of the jump...in those words, I think, all four of those emotions appear. Very well writ.
aknerd
As the bird chirps
Millions are massacred
As the wolf howls
Billions are born
As the Whale sings
Multitudes will mourn
As the Eagle shrieks
Legions will laugh
But as a baby cries
None will notice
As Silence falls
All will arise
Humanity is Always
Last to listen
Our voice obscured
Our ears extinguished
In Scandinavian and Old English poetry, the predominant style of poetry was actually alliterative...and this poem certainly has that feel. I've fixed a spelling error or two, but that last stanza is chilling.
pHacon
Starry skies,
The beauty of the cosmos.
How does it feel
To look back in time?
Short poem is short, but short poem is big too.
slayguy8
It was the slow death of a million papercuts
the next one hurt more than the last
the feeling of slowly bleeding out
you didnt picture this to end this way
all because of a million papercuts
A poem about death by a million papercuts...I simply marvel at how grave and how flippant this poem is at the same time. I know that's not a skill I have.
Gantic
Help us escape
Cardboard prisons
We've grown too big
Please help, children
Before I continue, for all you AG poets that have just joined us, Gantic is probably the most versatile poet around these parts. Go consult him for what is good poetry. As for this poem, it reminded me of Calvin and Hobbes when they use corrugated cardboard boxes as tools of imagination...what do we do when we lose it though?
CommanderDude7
I glimpsed a burst of happiness
As my oppenent thought he had victory
I glanced at my cards
And wondered what he had
Whatever it was
Could it beat a full house?
A good twist to pull on a good line. An excellent rendition of putting thoughts into words.
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Thanks for reading! Comments, questions, suggestions all welcome in this thread.
- 89 Replies
Kyo, the mushroom one was amazing. xD
I hope that like one of mine can be listed in here! Woo!
Volume 1, Issue 4
Parsat's note: Well, it only took three months, but we did it! Another 10 pages worth of spontaneous poetry. A big thanks to Kyouzou for the sudden revival, and for all of you who have been participating. I hope it has been a big help to you in developing your imaginations. As usual, the disclaimer comes first.
Disclaimer: I repost poetry in the same regard as a poem would be reposted in a contest judging. I acknowledge that your poetry is your own intellectual property. As no one objected to me making a digest, I have assumed that by posting in the thread you allow me to compile your poem if I see fit. If you hold objection with me reposting your poetry, please contact me in my comments. Thank you.
Poems:
Kyouzou
We don't need to play 'em.
All you gotta do is...
Straight up tell 'em
The truth
I like the direct, no-nonsense feel of this one. Might not have really been going anywhere, but this is some pretty good advice that more people need to follow.
Gantic
Summer draws to close
So does the flight of chicken men
Heralding the adipose
Finger lickin' hen
Mmm...adipose...my favorite. Gotta get that soul food in, it's starting to get chilly around here.
Jezz
I forgot I existed,
I couldn't see me at all.
For infront of the mirror,
Stood a girl oh so small.
And her eyes, they were blackened,
And her fingers were bone,
And she looked so afraid,
So forlorn, so alone.
As she shook her tiny head,
So miniscule for her age,
Her tattered clothes swung,
From her prominent ribcage.
And when the girl noticed me,
And screamed as loud as she could,
I knew the girl was an echo,
Of my early childhood.
That last line really put a twist in the end...you think you've seen the specter of death, but it was really that your childhood was never alive to begin with. 'Tis a sad fate indeed.
OperationNilo
Don't you see?
You are her slave.
Her prisoner.
With her you will never be free!
Leave her, she ain't the one,
search for someone else,
that has a better attitude,
and a better self.
Some of the best advice that was ever given on a thread here on AG. Might have been a bit lacking in the "artistic word" category, but man, does it speak the truth.
kingryan
Nonsense poems are so awesome,
Flibbidy flobbidy do!
I left my house in a chocolate ship,
My tyres will soon come true!
The elephant trance is really deep,
I must confess my dark underwear!
My eyebrow ate a large turnip,
Like the flamingo at the fair.
Your spark plug lit a concrete flute,
The wives were very wolf-like.
The engine room is glittery,
I ate and died by a pike.
Ah...this brings me back to the days of bogan-hunts and failprizes from Strop. You're still the master of the failpoem, kingryan. (Although for all you other poets, let it be known that kingryan's is a grognard when it comes to the art of meter-and-rhyme.)
Teeheegirl123
The cry echoes loud,
Both noble and proud,
It is heard by the folks
Of the animal crowd
Some called out to respond,
Some just lazily yawned
And the oblivious fish
Just stayed still in their pond
The cry sharply stopped,
Close by something popped,
And with one final sound,
Down the unfortunate beast dropped
This peace has this very undeniable charm with it...maybe it's the choice words, maybe it's the excellent rhyme or the Seussian anapestic. Whatever the case, this one put a smile on my face. (Rhyme completely unintended, screw you Seuss)
Gantic
Reflection of my life
Found in candy galore
Candy canes and candied ginger,
Lollipops with tootsie core,
Zebra and bazooka gum,
Bubblepop and more,
Gobstoppers, butterscotch,
Pixie sticks and licorice,
Gummy bears, gummy worms,
Gummy sharks and gummy fish,
Rock hard Jolly Ranchers,
Soft chews in a dish,
Jelly Bellies of all flavors,
Life Savers, peppermints,
Lemonheads and pucker candy
Sour to make you wince,
Red hots and spicy ones
Down with milk to rinse,
And White Rabbit Creamy Candy
Wrapped in paper waxed and rice
Smooth and sweet upon the tongue
Worth the dollar price.
When going out for groceries,
It was something nice.
So many sweet memories...especially White Rabbit! If you weren't a Chinese child of the 90s, sorry to say that you'll never have a chance to taste this delectable treat. A scandal with tainted baby formula made in the same factory has ended its run.
EnterOrion
It's a conspiracy, a lie!
When men are sent to die.
Love is lost upon running blood,
Sought to victory of the flood.
Seeking treasure, of the land,
Seeking death, on the sand.
Ready to die for what they know not,
Soon to let their corpses rot.
Blood creeps into the sun,
Lost to die by the gun.
Slaughtered bodies for all that's lost,
Our treasure won, but great the cost.
The meter could be tightened just a little, but this provides a very crimson, hard view of the blood shed for economic exploitation. That last line is particularly powerful in its use of rhetorical omission of words. Well done.
Kyouzou
In the mornings I find that I
Can not help but marvel at the
Sheer beauty found in a new day
The crystalline drops of dew
hanging upon a delicate web
Icy frost, that covers the
greenery with a white blanket
A fiery sun lingers upon our horizon
The light of a new dawn shining on us
The very separated stanzas gave me the feel of looking at a series of little dew drops or flakes of frost...something beautiful to behold in itself.
SheWhoMustNotBeNamed
I ate so much I think I'll burst.
Doughnuts, cakes and tarts be cursed.
I ate so much I'm feeling queasy--
Head is reeling; stomach's uneasy.
I ate so much I think I'll die
But wait! There's still more pecan pie!
Just one more bite, thats all I need,
It's too much! I think *KABLOOM*
I just love the Shel Silverstein feel of this poem, the little random couplets that just keep adding up and adding up until they flash with humor.
Hypermnestra
"Do you think the lemon's tasty?"
He asked of her, the reply
"Tell the truth, I think it's nasty."
"Well, at least you didn't lie."
"Sir, do you like pickle juice?"
"Young man, I do not know."
"I can't unscrew the lid, it's not loose-"
"Thanks sir, now you can go."
"Ma'am, would you eat dark chocolate?"
"Well I guess I eat it now and then." "[/i]
"But I'm not exactly in love with it.
"Thanks, and don't forget to send your friends!"
"Boss, the results are in and they are clear."
"Peoples' perception of disgusting foods-"
[i]"You actually did that, Mr. Dweeb-Fear?"
"It was just a prank, seriously dude."
I really like your whimsical poems, Hyper...they remind me a lot of Lewis Carroll's, with the unusual words and the struggle between rational and irrational worlds.
Lintire
The blade pierced his back,
Or, was it yours?
To be betrayed by the dozen,
That's part of lore.
The blade, the blade!
What a distress,
To be betrayed by a brother,
who, under duress,
Cracked, went insane,
Fell like no other,
Stabbed you for money,
To pay for your mother.
When stabbed in the back,
Be sure to carry money,
For, while you will die,
At least you can pay for honey.
Please welcome our newcomer Lintire, who weaves a very interesting, dramatic narrative with a well-done fixed form. I just really love that last line especially...it makes you wonder what honey (or honeys) it's talking about. I've got my own interpretation, but that's the brilliance of it, I suppose.
MRWalker82
The faded lines
Gently kissed horizon's edge
The sight lures me yet reminds
Time is fleeting, on its way
How I long to caress those hills one day
Alas age and health do not permit
If only I had just one wish
I'd turn back the clock of life
And see what wonders do lie
Just beyond the faded lines
I liked the multiple meanings that were conveyed by your word choice...those hills and lines and wonders are all subject to the interpretation of the imaginative mind, which is what FLP is all about.
CommanderDude7
Grecian symptoms provoke
And yet are not limited to
Wondering about exisitence
Musing on poetry
Making up nonsense
Putting said nonsense into to poems
Hoping no one notices
And always results in a case of the mondays
Props to Zaork for the Keats reference for the first line, and props to CommanderDude7 for submitting a very different style of poem. The tongue-and-cheek satire was done very well.
Hypermnestra
Why can't you die?!?!?
Immortality, your curse
Fading away is your life
And dying is your cure
You've tried and tried again to live
But now you can only hope to die
You can't return this cursed gift
Your life is now your lie
Your burden is heavy, your heart as well
Your eternal fear of burning in hell
Gone forever, but now you know
That hell is on earth, and now you can't go
Questionable punctuation usage on the part of CommanderDude7, but we'll let it slide. The idea of a hellish immortality is by all means not a new one, but it was explored very well in this poem, I thought.
jezz
Can you hear me now?
I use half of my voice to speak.
And if I even go to work,
I work for half of the week.
And when you glance across the room,
You catch just half of my stare.
Check out my shadow on the wall,
There's only half of it there.
Put your hand against my chest,
And feel just half of a beat.
And watch me hop across the room,
With only one of my feet.
I need the other half of me,
I don't know how I get by,
When I can only see the world,
Through just one half of my eye.
A haunting but truthful look at unrequited love. The imagery is impeccable.
Hypermnestra
Every news page says more of the same thing
"We're making progress, we're recovering."
Every news page will tell the same old tale
Never would they tell you, Uncle Sam has failed
"A murderer executed by firing squad."
But what they don't tell you, is it's all a facade
"Another oil spill, again caused by BP!"
But they never report on the harsh reality
The tabloids will tell you other peoples' mistakes
"Lohan arrested again, it's the breaks!"
But they never consider what's really important
Not celebrities or fashion or any assortment
Some might tell you about politics and such
"Tea Party v. Obama...wish them good luck!"
But only you can know what's important to you
And that's what you make it, your life as you choose
A jab at the media is always appreciated, and I really marveled at how you managed to keep a consistent poetic form here. The message in the last two lines were straight shooting too, something else that I liked.
kingryan
The passion runs like blood,
It drips right down the door.
The handle stained and bloody,
The wounds now dressed raw.
The night before was fire,
This morning is now ice.
A blade sharp with malice,
A handle gripped in vice.
Two stabs, not one nor three,
Ticks of the clock break quick.
Depart fast soul - torn in two,
Covered the tiles, horrible sick.
While it keeps traditional form, there is rebellion all under the surface. The message is not standard, the usage of visual rhyme is not standard, the nongrammatical last stanza is not standard...and yet it manages to convey an unusual power and passion of its own, unlike a lot of rebellious poetry nowadays.
Ninja Spy Science Guy and Ninja'd Poets
knight_34:
I'm the ninja spy science guy,
I zip to work in red dye ties.
My occupation's full of lies,
The stakes of this deadly game are high.
Hypermnestra:
I'm the ninja spy science guy
If you ask who I am, that's what I'll reply
I'm black ops with a black belt
I know jujitsu, and I'll kick you to hell
If you do happen to kidnap me
I'll free myself with some HNO3
And if you happen to NOT give me that Nobel Prize
I'll pour HBr right into your eyes
I like to do kickflips shaped like integral curves
But because I'm a spy, there's no one that has heard
Of my epic skills, now that is just sad
And it makes the ninja spy science guy mad
I'm related to Einstein, Pascal, and Pythagoras all
I've been to London, Moscow, L.A., and Nepal
I've kidnapped the governor and blackmailed his wife
Then called Ian Fleming for the movie rights
I'm the ninja spy science guy
If you ask who I am, that's what I'll reply
I have a black belt, a badge, and a Ph.D
The ninja spy science guy, yeah, that is me
Parsat:
I'm the ninja spy science guy!
Wearing a lab coat and ninja black tie
I'm skilled at stealth kills and speedy evasion
As much as I am with differential equations!
My shuirukens move at the speed of light
As I calculate their swift path flight.
Props to MoonFairy for a first line so epic it lead to two different poets getting ninja'd. I readily concede that my ninja spy science guy's differential equations were integrated and his swift shuirukens corroded with nitric acid by Hyper's. Maybe we should form a Charlie's Angels-esque group?
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Thanks for reading! Comments, questions, suggestions all welcome in this thread.
Props to MoonFairy for a first line so epic it lead to two different poets getting ninja'd.
Sweetness.
Can't wait for the next digest thingie ma bob!
I was mentioned twice!
I can't seem to beat that record for some reason...
lol I forgot all about that poem. I must have had the mojo going that day. Time to post that on my profile.
kingryan's is a grognard
I had to look up 'grognard' - but it seems that it is a complement.
Thanks for the positive feedback as well as the effort that you put into this Parsat!
Props to MoonFairy for a first line so epic it lead to two different poets getting ninja'd.
*takes nonexistent cap off*
I readily concede that my ninja spy science guy's differential equations were integrated
Bwahaha.
Also; I didn't notice this until watching the Psych episode that stated it, but does not the integral sign look like a big curvy s?
And then when you're looking to write down the area under the curve xy...it'd look like SXY.
Teehee. That seems a little bit juvenile of me, but appropriate regardless. After all, when's the last time you saw an ugly spy? Never. xP
and his swift shuirukens corroded with nitric acid by Hyper's.
Again, bwahahahaha. HNO3 ftw.
Maybe we should form a Charlie's Angels-esque group?
YES.
YESYESYES a million times.
I'm not much one for Charlie's Angels, but that sounds like so much win it doesn't matter. =,D
Crying of teh win overdose.
LOL'd after seeing Ray Ardent Science Ninja because I was thinking about this.
Well, I am a fairy that has all the cosmic powers of the mooooooooooon. Which includes seeing the future.
I will explain.
I was watching PBS. Bill Nye the Science Guy. (BILL BILL BILL BILL)
and at the same time I was watching Ninja Assassin on the laptop.
Thus, the Ninja Spy Science Guy was born.
Bill Nye the Science Guy is actually coming over next Tuesday to my campus to speak! One of the perks of college.
Lucky.... >,>
Anyways, when is the next digest thingie comin out?
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