OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
I'll start: 1. Instant Seafood. If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control. When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them. With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge. If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows: 1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better. 2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. > 3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
Aw, dang it, the link up top failed! I'll have to apply some OctoCan later on. In the mean time, you can still contact MagicTree by going to your profile page, going to the URL window on your browser, and substituting his name where it has yours.
4. Time Travel. Tell your OctoCan (looking in the eyes, of course.) what year you want to go to, and [insert time-travely noises here]! Back in time. Don't go back before 2011 if you want to make an instant return, because OctoCan wasn't invented!
5. Retrieval. If you drop something down a hole, a sewer grating, or off of anything that puts whatever object out of your reach, use OctoCan. Tie a long piece of rope around the octopus and lower it down to where the object is. The octopus will attach itself to the object, and then it can be reeled in and your object retrieved. Also, instead of using rope, you can use a fishing pole and line.
6. Christmas Gift Trust me, who wants an iPod or a iPad for Christmas? Get em' a can of OctoCan! Wrap it in a stylishly good paper, and it's gift time. You'll love the look on your kid's faces!
6. Mind Control Someone doesn't like you? An enemy chasing you around? Pop open this can of OctoCan at the back of their heads and watch the tentacles do their work! Make them under your control, your mindless lover, your ever loyal servant!
Did you breack a string on your guitar or piano, lose the skin of a drum or lost the tubing of any instrument that uses tubing then Octocan is for you! Simply take the body parts you need from the octopus and they'll grow back for unlimited use!
Feeling lonely and can't afford a dog? Have a fish tank but can't buy a goldfish? Then open up a can of OctoCan. This lovely octopus comes cheap and will entertain you for hours on end.
Got no money for a business? Not even enough for child labor? Well OctoCan works for free! Just open up the can and he'll start assembling cheap toys, or stitching those fake designer clothes!
Getting stressed? Having annoying headaches? Then OctoCan is for you! Just open it up and place the octopus on your head. Now sit back and relax as the octopus does it's job. Plus you get a free hat!
Need to climb stuff, open a can of OctoCan and throw them against the wall, and poof, you can climb the wall like a spider. You alos get a free paint job because of the inkspots. OctoCan-The octopus in a can.
16. Lasso Tired of evil villains escaping your grasp again and again? You need OctoCan! Pop open the can, tie a rope to the octopus and throw it at the fleeing foe. With 8 legs full of suction cups, there's no way to escape!
As a bonus, if your aim is good and you hit the bad guy on the head, the mind control that Garriss mentioned will take effect!
17. Showers Is your shower broken again? Aren't you tired of paying for it over and over again? Well just open a can of OctoCan and hang it on a rope then let it have some water. The water comes out of the suction cups! Plus it's portable! Refill it every monday!
