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The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

Posted Nov 24, '12 at 11:15am

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

248. Octo!Japan
Do you love Japan? Do you love OctoCan? Well now, with Octo!Japan, you can have two of them in one irresistible little manga-style octopus!  Octo!Japan can speak and write fluent Japanese, it's ink is perfect for hirigana, kangi and katakana characters and you can even chop off some of it's tentacles for instant sushi! What's not to love about Octo!Japan?

 

Posted Nov 24, '12 at 12:39pm

R2D21999

R2D21999

7,626 posts

249. Octo paper
Are you in the bathroom taking a dump and relized your out of toilet paper? Not anymore introducing the new Octo paper! All you have to do is wipe your behind and then wash off all that junk off. The best part is it's totally reusable, Octo paper is perfect parties, picnics, and camping. So why wait, buy Octo paper now, and if you buy it in the next 24 hours we'll throw in a 2nd Octo paper just for you. Call 1-212-Octo-paper So what are you waiting for? Call NOW.

 

Posted Nov 24, '12 at 11:50pm

theEPICgameKING

theEPICgameKING

458 posts

Was looking back, found this on page 15 and just had to correct it.

135: teleporter pad
are you stuck in traffic rather often? have you ever wanted to say "beam me up scotty" without looking like a jack***? then look no further, the Octocan scotty edition can take you anywhere you want to go, and you can use that startrek reference multiple times without it getting lame.

"beam me up scotty"

Wouldn't that be "Beam me up Octy?"

 

Posted Nov 25, '12 at 1:14am

Kingslayer888

Kingslayer888

11 posts

250: Best IRL spell ever!
      Simply attach OctoCan to a branch then walk around saying "Inkus Facus" Make people really mad at you! Squirts ink at their faces!

Yay quarter of a 1000 post!

 

Posted Nov 26, '12 at 4:23pm

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

Congrats!
251: Octo Jetpack or OctoWhirly
Want to get to work but can't stand rush hour? Looking for an easy escape method? Using OctoCan, you can! Pop it onto your back, fill it with OctoOil (OctoCan's Premium, multi-use ink!) and set it's tentacles whirling around like a helicopter. You can rise to any altitude! A must-have!

253: OctoBallon
Want to fly high through the sky but can't stand the speed of the OctoWhirly? Do you want a spacious and peaceful ride? Inflate an OctoCan with OctoCanium, tie the tentacles to a OctoPaper basket and you are ready to fly!

[i]Warning! Beware of seagulls. They like octopus and may pop your OctoBallon!

3 in one post!

[b]252: OctoCan Parachute!
Are you falling from unimaginable heights? Have you fallen out of you OctoBallon? Has your OctoWhirly run out of oil? All you need is to use OctoCan as a parachute! Pull the rip-tentacle and OctoCan's body will inflate and you will float gently to the ground!

 

Posted Nov 26, '12 at 6:35pm

Bladerunner679

Bladerunner679

1,343 posts

#253: Octoputer

is your computer running slow? is it too old to get the latest in everything modern today? then try octocan! just open it up and it turns into the world's most powerful supercomputer, which is able to process more data than anything you've ever dreamed before. It even learns from your activity in order to improve your experience.

Warning: be careful which sites/ programs you use. it could result in anything from embarassing data being exposed to the computer gaining sentience. viruses will make the octoputer explode with ink and electrical components as well.

-Blade

 

Posted Nov 27, '12 at 10:32am

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

255: OctoClaus
Christmas is coming and, being a sad loner, you will get no presents. How sad. But, with new OctoClaus, you can now get an almost-perfect gift! On Christmas day, OctoClaus will start to eject presents non-stop! It's a Christmas miracle!

Warning: presents may be covered in OctoPoop. Let's hope you bought some OctoPaper!

 

Posted Nov 27, '12 at 11:49am

ChromeDeathRazor

ChromeDeathRazor

247 posts

256: Bomb Disposal

Cant Decide whether to cut off the Red wire or the Blue wire? Simply buy OCTOCAN! With an state-of-the-art multi-intelligence compact octopus in a can, your bomb disposal nightmare is over! Simply add water, and let the freeze dried revived octopus do the job!

Proven results! Buy octocan! Its 100% reliable!

 

Posted Nov 27, '12 at 12:37pm

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

Moldable Sealife!
OctoCan is now 48% more moldable! You can now squish and squash the OctoCan to new, interesting shapes! An whale-shaped OctoCan? A Octo-bike? The Great Pyramids of Octo? Every thing you can imagine! Buy now!

 

Posted Nov 27, '12 at 10:43pm

theEPICgameKING

theEPICgameKING

458 posts

#257: OctoTool!
Lost your trusty screwdriver? Cant find your nut wrench? Misplaced your chainsaw? Never fear, brand new OctoTool transforms into any tool whatsoever!*

*Some assembly required

 
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