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The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

Posted Feb 5, '13 at 4:59pm

theEPICgameKING

theEPICgameKING

458 posts

#290: OctoArmWrestling!

Pretty sure this has been done before...ever want a good opponent for a manly wrestling-of-the-arms? Get OctoCan, now in BeefCake edition! Each of his eight tentacles is stronger than the last, providing many levels of strength! If you can beat the last tentacle, which even Vin Diesel or Arnold Scwarzenegger or Chuck Norris can barely do, you're AWESOME!
Buy now for 89.95. Please allow 20-24 weeks delivery, cause we're located on another planet.

 

Posted Feb 5, '13 at 5:25pm

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

4,623 posts

#291: Wall Art

Want to do modern art but you aren't insane? Have no fear! Open a can of OctoCan and toss the octopi inside at the wall. The ink stains they create will represent your inner passions and will make you rich! WARNING: Success of art is based on mental stability of art critics, so you should be okay.

 

Posted Feb 6, '13 at 4:51am

Nerdsoft

Nerdsoft

1,010 posts

#292: Snide comment-writer
Want to write a snide reply about how Matt is desperately trying to resuscitate this thread? Can't think of anything witty? Simple! Use OctoCan!

 

Posted Feb 6, '13 at 9:41am

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

4,623 posts

#293: Internet Revenge

Tired of people disrespecting you? Want to get quick revenge for someone insulting you online? Use OctoCan: Internet version! Just attach the OctoCan to an e-mail and send it to the offender. Once it reaches his inbox, the octopi will escape to his hard drive and use the suctions on their tentacles to delete all of the data. Problem solved! Only $499.99 while supplies last. Too late, they're gone.

 

Posted Feb 6, '13 at 12:09pm

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

294: Apology in A Can.
Did you accidentally delete your friend's information on their hard drive, just because you misspelled a email address? Do you want to say sorry but are to lazy to do it yourself? Well, with new Apology in a Can OctoCan, you can do it without getting of your couch! How?, I hear you ask. Just send the Apology to whoever needs an apology and the OctoCan will put on a little show in the can, just to say you're sorry. Only while stocks last!

 

Posted Feb 6, '13 at 1:35pm

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

4,623 posts

#295: Error Message

You're probably tired of the same old boring ERROR messages your computer gives you. OctoCan can help! At random intervels, especially after not saving your data, open a can of OctoCan and toss it onto the screen. The octopi inside will freeze your computer, forcing you to restart it and lose your hard work. Much better! Or not.

 

Posted Feb 16, '13 at 10:00am

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

296: Parenting Practice.
Are you expecting a child, but are unsure of your parenting skills? Do you want to practice being a parent, but a doll won't suffice? Just use a baby OctoCan, who will cry and poop 20% more! It cries and poops so much that, when you get  baby, you will be surprised by how little it cries! And poops. While Stocks Last!

 

Posted Feb 16, '13 at 11:13am

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

4,623 posts

#297: Comment Filler

Don't have anything original to say? Just say OctoCan!

 

Posted Feb 16, '13 at 12:48pm

GandalftheGrey666

GandalftheGrey666

1,791 posts

#298:Auto-banner

Bored of banning people by yourself? Simple, just use the OctoCan! Admins of AG can get it for a 2$ lower price!

 

Posted Mar 25, '13 at 11:49am

xAyjAy

xAyjAy

1,683 posts

#299 Mediator

some people are fighting or trying to kill eachother? there is a war between two or more countries? then use the new mediator OctoCan! just open the can and toss the octopus at the fighters and there will be instantly peace!

 
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