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The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

Posted Jun 7, '13 at 10:54pm

Riptizoid101

Riptizoid101

5,800 posts

#300 Thread Necro'

Some threads just die out too soon. Want to keep a thread alive? OctoCan's octopi have many tentacles that will make sure the posts keep coming fast! Your threads dying out are no longer worries!

 

Posted Jun 8, '13 at 8:01am

danwar123

danwar123

1,888 posts

301:dragon-raising

ever wanted to raise a dragon from a egg?whell,now you can!the transmofigher octocan will turn the octopus into a dragon egg!it costs only 500 dollars to get the transmofigher octocan!
buy today!

 

Posted Aug 1, '13 at 2:54pm

MagicTree

MagicTree

773 posts

No. 302: Egg Hatching
Have you been digging in your mine or squeezing animals and you suddenly find an egg at your feet? Worry no more, as OctoCan has the amazing ability to hatch any egg at super-speed!

No. 303: HiatusCan
Do you keep taking hiatuses and breaks from Armor Games without meaning to? Well with HiatusCan, just ask the OctoCan to help! Whenever you decide; "I'm getting bored of Armor Games," it will wrap its tentacles around your head and smash it against the table! You'll never want to leave!

 

Posted Aug 8, '13 at 3:15pm

danwar123

danwar123

1,888 posts

304:war

ever felt things where too calm?now u can stop that!the new war-to-can can instantly make things exiting.the war begims with your homecountry anda country of ur choice.it also comes with a meditator octocan for when you want the destruction.

 

Posted Aug 9, '13 at 10:06am

jeray2000

jeray2000

442 posts

[b]305: Fresh squeezed Lemonade!

Have you ever wanted lemonade, but were to lazy to go across the street to buy it for fifty cents from the kids next door? No problem now! Just travel across town to the local Octocan store, buy Octocan and some lemons and a pitcher, release the octopus in the can onto the lemons, and he'll start squeezing!*



*Does not work with any other fruit.

 

Posted Aug 24, '13 at 6:50am

MagicTree

MagicTree

773 posts

306 OctoFlan![b]

Are you hungry for a dessert, like a cake but also like a pudding? Well, here comes OctoFlan! This little baker will come up a flan for you at any time of day! Just add ingredients!

Warning: Flan may come out blue, because of OctoFlan's ink.

 

Posted Sep 17, '13 at 4:10pm

Pieguyme

Pieguyme

993 posts

307. Shelf decorator

Do you have an awkward looking empty space on your shelf? Not anymore! Just place Octocan on your shelf, and it will instantly brighten up your room!

Shelf not included.

 

Posted Sep 17, '13 at 8:32pm

Azywng

Azywng

377 posts

308. Hat Replacement

Are you one of the poor hatless unfortunates of (insert your city/hometown name here)? Do your hatted friends assume you're poor and Irish due to your lack of headgear? Are you disrespected day after day due to your bald head showing in public? NO MORE! Open up a can of OctoCan and place the octopus on your head. Instant hat! No crate ever in circulation will ever contain a hat such as that! What's more, it comes with a free random unusual effect! Show those pompous idiots that you are entirely above them!
(Team Fortress 2 Game not included)
(Purchasing this item gives you an replica on TF2. With the same unusual effect you have in real life.)

(Yes, all of those were Team Fortress 2 references.)

 

Posted Sep 23, '13 at 12:54pm

MagicTree

MagicTree

773 posts

308. Racist People Flamer
Did somebody just insult your country? Do you want to get back at those idiots? One answer! The OctoRPF! This Octocan will attach itself to the racist person's face and suck all the xenophobia out of them!

Works 100% of the time!

Btw Azywng, I'm Irish >:c

 

Posted Sep 23, '13 at 8:49pm

danwar123

danwar123

1,888 posts

has your octoflan not been good enough?do you want a sandwich,but dont have the right ingredients for it?NO MOAR!octocheif is a expert cheif and can make ingredients of thin air(or void if you are a alien)!he makes the best food known to man,no matter HOW picky you are.heck,he can even make you some octopi for dinner without hesitation!

call now and get the octocheif manual!you also get 2 menus(table for two,please?)and you also get bandages for octocheif when he makes a mistake!(everyone makes mistakes)now,you get all of this if you call NOW!or at least untill thursday.
if you call right now,we'll DOUBLE the offer!get 2 octocheif manuals, 4menus(for an entire household!)and 2xthe bandages!you also get 2 young octocheifs for your offer!

instwead of 100,000 for JUST the octocheif,and 500,000 for the extra stuff,we'll sell him to you with al the extra cool stiuff for only 55,000$!!!!(200$ S&H)order today at www.octocan.com
or by calling 343-2123-5865!

 
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