Poetry by crazyape

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Posted Feb 23, '12 at 1:12pm crazyape 342 posts	Well. Here it is. My first rhyming song in French. J'ai fait un rêve pas si très lointaine, j'ai fait un rêve j'ai chanté une chanson jolie, bien que j'ai fait un rêve je ne sais pas beaucoup mais je connais de beauté je sais pas comment aimer et j'aime être aimé j'ai fait un rêve si la très pas longtemps, j'ai eu un rêve, ce n'est pas très fort, bien que j'ai fait un rêve ---------------------------- Well. I'm not sure it's what I TRIED to make it say, but... xD Just to tell ya, I do poetry as a hobby.

Posted Feb 29, '12 at 1:34pm crazyape 342 posts	J'ai fait un reve pas si tres lointaine, j'ai fait un reve j'ai chante une chanson jolie, bien que j'ai fait un reve je ne sais pas beaucoup mais je connais de beaute je sais pas comment aimer et j'aime etre aime j'ai fait un reve si la tres pas longtemps, j'ai eu un reve, ce n'est pas tres fort, bien que j'ai fait un reve -------------------------- Blech, fixed -_-

Posted Feb 29, '12 at 8:11pm Faunbard 407 posts	It was at this exact moment that I wished I knew how to speak French. Could you post a translation?

Posted Feb 29, '12 at 8:14pm crazyape 342 posts	Could you post a translation? Would defeat the point. Plus, imma bit lazy. If you care to know, use google translator.

Posted Feb 29, '12 at 8:17pm Faunbard 407 posts	True Dat! You know, this is a moment where i love technology. Back in the day (when my mom was a kid) they had to go to a library and look up everything. I dont have to leave my house

Posted Feb 29, '12 at 8:35pm crazyape 342 posts	Tell me whatcha think of ALL the poems, and this one.

Posted Feb 29, '12 at 8:55pm Faunbard 407 posts	Ok, let me start with what i think about your first five poems: ahem The Five Seasons- Extreamly well written, i'd say. The ryhme scheme is not not forced and i feel as if i am drifting through time and observing the wonders of nature. You Live To Die I prefer the first poem better, where the poem takes you to an almost surreal seeming land or place. This poem seems fitting for a group of poems relating to death. (maybe not the best choice for a funeral, however...) The Long Road This poem is similar to You Live To Die, only the element of sadness started to creep in as i was reading. One Day I really did like how this poem was uniquley (i hope im spelling that right) set up. Short stanzas, little words but you still managed to get the message to the reader, which is great.Usually, short, choppy sentences bug me, but that seemed to escape me while i was reading. Nice Work, Nice work! Blanket Land When i read this, the rhyming seemed to be a little forced, and it didn't carry the crazyape magicalness as your other poems. Still, its not bad. That was an awesomely intense poetry session. I look forward to reading more of your poetry... But tommarow... Im mentally exausted. Thank you

Posted Feb 29, '12 at 10:21pm crazyape 342 posts	Thank YOU, sirrah! Anyways. I gaze out at you You smile back and turn away I reach out my hand You take it and smile I give you my heart You say you can't I offer my love and you do too When I need a friend You're always there But when I need love You've got none to spare You lied to me I forgave you and asked if you loved me You lied to me And I believe you But, I'm alright with that Because to me your lie is the truth All I need in life is you Even though you hurt me I still can't hate you You're care, so sweet Makes me love you Though you say you care I know you do I can't help but love you It started out as friends But the way you took care of me Now you're the reason I smile You're why I'm still alive I'll still smile for awhile You make me glad That I'm alive I can't express how you make me feel You do to me what sunshine should Just thinking about you gives me happiness It puts darkness in a hood I'm almost sane again When you leave, you take a piece of my heart And a piece of my mind When you come back, I can think again The sun comes out, the waves roll in There's nothing to compare To that memory Just me and you on the sunset beach ----------------------------------- No name for that yet, it's a work in progress. Constructive critisism welcome. Hate welcome too, as long as you don't throw tomatoes and/or eggs at my tux.... xD jk jk

Posted Mar 1, '12 at 2:43pm murasaki9 1,150 posts	Oh my word! Your poems are so deep and invoke so many feelings that are deeply emmbedded in my soul. This last poem made me relive something painful in my past. But it wasn't a bad thing. Thank you.

Posted Mar 1, '12 at 8:14pm Schmiddy1234 892 posts	About The Five Seasons Very well written poem i have to say that would be about a 10.1/10 :DDD i like the rhyming pattern BTW. "ababcc"