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Zeus01
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Zeus01
37 posts
60

Here is a story I will try to make visits and write some more
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
There I lay on my bed staring straight up at the blank ceiling, my mind blank and floating away from the worries of life. A voice suddenly broke the quiet and peacefulness of that moment.
"Ryan!" My dad shouted in a soft tone.
"Coming dad." I replied back.
I stepped out of my room and into the bathroom i quickly brushed my teeth with my red and white Oral-B® tooth brush. I skipped the dark oak polished stairs one at a time and landed on the soft blue rug at the bottom of the stairs. I ran to the glass dining table and gave him a high-five. I took the milk out of our stainless steel fridge and got Fruit Loops® from the cabinet. I grabbed a spoon and took a seat by my dad.
"Hey" I said as I sat down.
"Hello" he replied in a happy tone.
"Why so happy?"
"I got the job"
After those words, I was speechless.
Now my friends I have no clue what is going to happen next I will figure it out farewell until next time guys!

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aknerd
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aknerd
1,418 posts
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"you have two blocks of clay in cube form and the edges are 10 cm. How many spheres with a radius of 5cm can you make with that amount of clay?"


This is actually a really clever problem, and demonstrates the main character's mental abilities very well.

"I don't know how to say it but it's the Riemann Zeta Function"


This one... not so much. It would be more impressive if he knew what the rz function was used for, rather than just the name of it. I realize that it is a little clunky to write down. For instance, the RZ function only converges when s is strictly greater than one, but in order for the the RZ to equal the sum of all positive numbers, s would have to equal negative one. Because then the sum would be in the form 1/(n^-1)=n. And since this does not converge, the sum of all positive numbers actually is infinite.

But, luckily, you have obviously put most of your thought into your plot, which is pretty good. I mean, some things seem kind of obvious (kid has super powers, mom had super powers and died*, dad knows kid has super powers and worries that he will get hurt if he displays them in public...) BUT the way you have been relying information is surprising enough to make me doubt my inferences. Which is a good thing.

I look forward to reading more!

*OR DID SHE?
Zeus01
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Zeus01
37 posts
60

"Ryan!" my dad yelled.
"What" I replied.
"What do you mean you have your secrets?"
"Why are you so eager to know?"
"Well I'm your dad, I should know your secrets."
"I'm a normal sixteen year old that has secrets, I need privacy dad you can't know everything."
"Alright, lets have lunch then. How does Subway® sound?"
"Good"
6:00 PM my clock read, I stared at it as though it was magical. I held my hand up trying to shoot lightning at my clock, I repeatedly
hit the "Snooze" button nothing seemed to work.
My dad walked in and said
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing" I replied
"Whats going on?"
"I didn't know till this morning"
"Know what?"
"It just happen, I hit the "Snooze" button and...and..."
"WHATS GOING ON!?"
"This may sound crazy but..."
"Oh no"
"I can shoot lightning out of my hands"

Zeus01
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Zeus01
37 posts
60

"I knew it!" Dad said
"When did you know?" I replied
"When you were born."
"Umm, how?"
"You shocked my almost every day." He said chuckling
"Well, what now? What do we do? What if someone finds out?"
"OK relax, we will carry on with our lives, you will be home schooled, and if were careful enough hopefully no one will find out.
"Let's have dinner." he said with a stupid smile on his face
I gave him a look that said *Stop, you're freakin' me out*
After we had dinner, I went in my room and went to sleep early at 9:00. I was laying there staring at the ceiling when I heard a voice in my head that said *Who was my mom?*, and using my dad, I was going to find out.

Tobisper
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Tobisper
412 posts
325

I'm really slacking off on my story, but to tell ya something I like this!!

acmed
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acmed
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I kind of like where this is going, but I think it's kind of fast. I don't mind all this dialogue, but it's not evened our with anything else. What you wrote til now could be the first third of a whole entire book.

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