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Twiction Contest -- The Greatest Story Ever Told (page 11, Due September 9)

Posted Jun 11, '12 at 5:27pm

ellock

ellock

379 posts

@Strop: I barely know anything and it is apart of US history ;).

 

Posted Jun 21, '12 at 1:55am

Xzeno

Xzeno

2,354 posts

Is this when I manage to write a 141 character long story, just to spite you?
Now now, that'd just be unreasonable. You made your arguments, and when I didn't listen, you made a petty protest entry. I'd complain, but that's exactly what I would do if I wasn't the one running this contest. Like, down to the detail. Then I caved and went with your admittedly reasonable rules alteration :P

3rd place "I wonder how much fear could have been averted, how many lives could have been saved, if we had just whipped out the old ruler back in 1947."

Ha. Cute. I liked this entry because it creates an amusingly ironic contrast between something small and simple and something very complex and dangerous. I like its whimsical approach to the issue. One thing I particularly like is how the date at the end is the only clear reference to the war in question. It gives the entry a good sense of progression, from an abstract description of a good possibility to the simplified specific.

It's not all rainbows and butterflies, however, which is why this entry didn't win. It perfectly captures the spirit of a tweet -- a thought that says it all in a short span, shared with the world. But this isn't the World's Cleverist Tweet contest. This is the Twiction contest. The entries in general force me to make a reminder: This is a twiction contest. The goal here is to write a work of fiction in 140 (or fewer. *grumbles*) characters. That is, this contest is primarily about writing stories. Some sort of story would be better than ruminations on the topic. While one might argue that Aknerd and Strop's profound misunderstanding of the events of the cold war might qualify them as fiction, the element of the story is the main issue here.

2nd: "Words like daggers, poised at the backs of government. Bullets cast of subterfuge fire from the dark. Men of many faces hide in the shadows."

This was my favorite of what I considered the "capture the feel" entries, which were Poison, Cen and ellock. TO be honest, I liked all three. I thought the "data gained and lost simultaneously" bit of ellock's was brilliant, but the second sentence of the entry was too awkward to compete with Poison's. I really liked Cenere's theme: how the rejection of one source of angst (paranoia about being doomed) is a direct result of another source of angst (a feeling of powerlessness). That feeling of hopelessness just really stuck me. You guys all know I like depressing stuff, so there's that.

Poison's entry beats Cenere's for no good reason whatsoever. You can both feel free to consider yourselves in 2nd place. As with last contest, I really like Poison's imagery. "Bullets cast of subterfuge" is my favorite image of the contest. He did an excellent job of showing the mood of the cold war, rather than telling it. I liked how he focused on the spy thriller elements of the war rather than the nukes. Refreshing change of pace. Again, the main problem is that it sets a mood, but doesn't tell a story.

1st place:
"People said they would do things. The world fearfully stood, waiting for them to do the things they said they would do. Nobody did anything." I also considered Tacky's entry as the winner, and it was Tacky vs. Strop until I realized only one of those two could count.

Strop says he doesn't know much about the cold war and oh man, that is so clear in this entry. **** went down. Just not nuclear war. Also, Australia was involved, of course. Everyone was. Just not very involved. I don't know much, but basically it goes like this: The US, New Zealand and Australia form an alliance in which they all support and defend each other: each nation would offer the others military relief in the Pacific theater. Then America told New Zealand to lube up and let them park nuclear subs in New Zealand waters, in violation of New Zealand's anti-nuke policies. New Zealand was like "no way" and America was all "fine then!" and it took its toys and left the sandbox by way of terminating its obligation to New Zealand. Thereafter, Australia and New Zealand entered their own, separate agreement, about which I of course know nothing by definition: It didn't involve America.

Anyway, onto the entry: I couldn't decide whether this was a really good entry, or a really bad entry. The main issue is this: does the vacuousness of the entry help or harm it? For 140 characters, Strop sure does repeat ideas and phrases a lot. However, I chose to interpret it as unquestionably deliberate: At the end, the reader feels as though absolutely nothing has been achieved. By choosing to not use fresh images, instead relying solely on the phrases used in his short first sentence, Strop perfectly captures the way in which the cold war was less dramatic than it seemed. Like the real "war", this entry ends not with a bang but a fizzle.

Strop has, ultimately, managed to write an entry that is annoyingly free of content and frustratingly long-winded, all through his repeated use of overly plain, detached images. And it's really, really clever.

Also, his entry has a story. It had a narrative arc. It was actual historic twiction, not a tweet on history. So for that reason, this entry wins.

Next theme: Nature! This one is always a crowd pleaser. Everyone loves talking about nature, from pretentious hacks with their abstract haikus to rich poets with nothing better to do than tour natural scenery. It is a source of inspiration to many, a source of beauty to others and a source of allergies to the rest of us.

As you can guess, this theme doesn't have to be about singing nature's praises, although it can be if you want. So come on, AGers, whether you're Romantic or Enlightened, write 140 characters or fewer about nature! It'll take you 30 seconds tops. You don't even have to think it through! I'll over-analyze it for you. Due on Saturday. Not this Saturday, but next. June 30th, I think.
 

Posted Jun 21, '12 at 9:04am

Strop

Strop

11,085 posts

Moderator

A Twiction about Nature? That's not easy. Let's see what I can do...

"That which we attempt to apprehend, existed since the beginning of time; it swallowed us and scatters us like the insignificant dust we are."

 

Posted Jun 22, '12 at 5:44pm

Zahz

Zahz

48 posts

"Poor baby!"
"Fire is nothing to sneeze at." I grumbled.
"What?"
"Jes' sayin'."


I felt this appropriate directly after Strop's hippy nonsense. Punctuation sure breaks down in dialect don' it?
 

Posted Jun 25, '12 at 9:39am

jeol

jeol

3,987 posts

Nature? Really? Really?

I wasn't quite sure how to approach this one, so I'll just give it a shot and see how it turns out.

"Often the subject for those who try to remain original yet aren't creative, nature is overused, justifying one thing: nature is everywhere."

 

Posted Jun 27, '12 at 10:22am

killersup10

killersup10

2,766 posts

cruel nature


The hounds from hell invade the land and rip apart youth souls, for yet an easy meal that will never quench the needs of the beast of death



kinda proud of this one.

 

Posted Jun 27, '12 at 3:14pm

aknerd

aknerd

1,431 posts

We dove into the densest forests to determine what is natural, what is normal. In the empty skies above, the stars simply laughed.

 

Posted Jun 27, '12 at 9:46pm

Xzeno

Xzeno

2,354 posts

It's good to be proud of your work. However, your entry is currently too long.

While the first rule was amended, allowing entries to be up to, rather than exactly, 140 character, that is still the upper limit. Entries longer than 140 characters will be disqualified.

And again, while the rule was amended, the subpoint that titles, dedications and author attributions do count towards the character limit was not altered. So yeah. Titles count.

 

Posted Jun 28, '12 at 1:03pm

killersup10

killersup10

2,766 posts

Titles count.


opps,let Killersup fix that right up.



The hounds from hell invade the land and rip apart youth souls, for yet an easy meal that will never quench the needs of the beast of death



There,no title. Killersup checked it on miccrosoft office and it said it only had 140 characters before the title was added so it should onlyhave 140 characters now.
 

Posted Jun 28, '12 at 11:27pm

KingOfAthlum

KingOfAthlum

120 posts

Trying to control what made us leaves black scars across the Earth. Soon it will be all but destroyed, leaving us to die and it to survive.

 
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